http://www.menshealth.com.sg/hrship_files.asp?files=MarriedMenLiveLonger.htmStudies have shown that married men live longer, have fewer infectious illnesses, and fewer heart attacks. Jennifer Adriano takes a closer look at why marriage is so beneficial to male longevity.
Carlo, a 25-year-old father of three, has his hands full. Aside from helping his wife take care of a two-month-old baby, he also drives his two gradeschool children to school every morning, waking as early as 4:30 AM to have the kids out of the house by six o’clock. He also puts in eight-to-10 hour workdays at the office, and is working hard to pay his home and car mortgages, his kids’ educational plans, plus other household and everyday expenses. His same-age friend Sam, however, is more relaxed: he has all his time to himself, spends two hours daily at the gym, and has an active nightlife with buddies and gal pals. “If not being married is this great,” he says in a pitying tone to Carlo, “Then I wouldn’t mind staying single for life.” Little does he know that if he follows through with this statement, in the long run, Carlo—he of the bills, babies, and big responsibilities—is likely to live a longer, healthier and happier life.
If you stop and think about it, it shouldnÂ’t be so surprising that wedlock affects wellness. In his popular book RealAge, Michael F. Roizen, M.D. studied more than 100 health behaviors that have an impact not only on how long we live but also on how well we live. He reports that marriage is a critical relationship: "Happily married couples live longer. Indeed, people who indicate that they are happily married show a RealAge difference of as much as 6.5 years younger than their unmarried counterpartsÂ… If you are happily married or involved in a stable long-term relationship, know that it is making you younger."
“Married men don’t live longer—it just seems longer,” goes the oft-told joke. But despite the harried husband stereotype, the surprising fact of the matter is that the contrary is true: Studies have shown that married men live longer, have fewer infectious illnesses, and fewer heart attacks. Unmarried men between 45 and 64, whether they lived alone or with someone, are twice as likely to die within ten years as married men in the same age range. Let’s take a closer look at why marriage is so beneficial to male longevity.
Someone to talk to
In "What Men Secretly Love About Marriage," an article printed in Redbook and Reader’s Digest, writer Joel Achenback says that wives are men’s main source of comfort: “A macho man still needs someone to cling to when afraid.” Achenback’s main point is that marriage helps the man move away from self-centeredness to a loving "otherness."
Psychologist John Gottman, PhD, one of the most respected marriage researchers in the US, says that without their wives, most men wouldn't have anyone to lean on. "Guys' social support systems aren’t as deep compared to women’s much-lauded ‘female bonding’,” he says. "You ask most men who they talk to when they're upset and they say, 'I don't talk to anybody.' But they do talk to their wives." Even just having the daily connection with a life partner gives valuable emotional stability. Fifty-two year old businessman Pedro Roxas says, “If you asked me what I’d rather do at the end of the day, have drinks with the guys from the office, have drinks with a sexy 22-year-old who looks like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, or go home to my wife, I’d say no contest. My wife is it—we have a life together, our own rituals, our own language. That’s irreplaceable.”
Home sweet home
Living in a home atmosphere reduces stress and stress-related illnesses—having a nurturing environment to wake up to in the morning and return to at the end of the day is a source of comfort. Married men also have care in times of illness and improved nutrition. “My wife makes sure that everything’s running smoothly in the household. When I started having arthritis, she made sure the family’s meals—not just mine—were low in salt and uric acid. She reminds me to exercise instead of having that second beer,” says Mr Roxas. In short, she keeps me going.”
That thing called love
“A life without a nurturing relationship would tend to be unhealthy and unhappy in its emptiness,” says 55-year-old Eduardo Cu-Unjieng, former president of Philippine Fuji Xerox Corporation who recently started his own IT company. “After 27 years of marriage, I feel great!” A happy and successful marriage offers contentment, trust, security, the sharing of mutual goals and interests, and the solid foundation and “rootedness” only family life can offer.
Believe it or not, most married people are happier with their sex lives. "We think married people have the boring, predictable sex and single people have the passion," says 43-year-old Roger Belo, an entrepreneur. "But married people get more physical and emotional satisfaction. Monogamy has its benefits. Over time, you understand each otherÂ’s needs more."
Having kids
Another important factor in the link between marriage and longevity is children. Raising a family encourages healthy behaviour, and discourages unhealthy habits such as smoking, excessive drinking, or using recreational drugs. “Responsibility and being careful come hand in hand,” says Mr. Cu-Unjieng. “I am fortunate to have learned that raising a child requires a value set where family comes first and foremost in everything. Allowing one's life to be guided by this value set has its health benefits because with this sense of responsibility comes focus, which results in less dissipation of energy. Certainly, a sound set of values does wonders for one's mental health as well.” As 60-year-old William Go says, “You have to set an example. I quit smoking when my son was seven and I saw him playing with a pack of cigarettes I left in the living room. You realize you’re not only living for yourself, but for your children. I also knew I had to stay healthy to go to work everyday and earn for my family; more importantly, to live long enough to guide them into adulthood and see my grandchildren be born and grow up, too.”
DIVORCE MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH!
According to the US National Institute for Healthcare Research, men and women who have gone through divorce have a 40 percent greater risk of premature death than those who are steadily married. Divorced men who smoke have a 71 percent greater risk of early death than married men who smoke do. Men who remained divorced or separated were 120 percent more likely to face earlier death.
Comparisons of older married and divorced men also show that the relative health levels of the latter drop significantly as they age. By the time divorced men reach age 50, they can expect their health to deteriorate much faster than the health of those who are married. For this group of older divorced men, remarriage offers a direct health benefit, bringing their health up to the level of men who have remained married.
Perhaps warning labels should be attached to marriage certificates reading, "Breaking this covenant may be hazardous to your health." At any rate, keep in mind that working harder for a happy marriage might not only save your sanity, but lengthen your life as well.
