by Kway Png
The Ministry of Health has rejected a substitute design for a controversial poster issued in support of World Breastfeeding Week.
Meanwhile, demand for the original poster, which shows an expat woman leaning over two babies with her engorged breasts, is surging, with requests coming from a wide variety of organizations, especially old folksÂ’ homes and SAF units.
The Ministry of Health rejected a substitute design suggested by the Morally Outraged Rightwingers Resisting Openly Nursing Singaporeans (MORRONS), substituting papayas instead of breasts. (See graphic above.)
According to MOH spokesman Dr. Jayan Nair, “While perhaps less jarring than the old poster, we believe this design might lead to confusion. We can’t risk mothers mistakenly thinking that feeding their babies papaya milk instead of breast milk is acceptable.”
MORRONS, however, railed against the Ministry decision. Said MORRONS spokesman Mr. Boey Sai Kwah, “First, with R(A) movies, you could see naked breasts in the cinemas. With this breastfeeding campaign, we will now see naked breasts in the streets! How can like that? What new depth will we sink to next? Maybe in time to come, people might even be able to walk around naked in their own homes! Surely, society will collapse then!”
Mr. Boey also defended the papaya design. “We believe that if people see women openly breastfeeding, they will begin to have sexual thoughts, and that will not be normal.”
With papayas, he said, people would be less inclined to harbour fruity thoughts.
Most of the general public polled by this reporter, however, disagreed with Mr. Boey.
“When I see a woman breastfeeding,” said Mr. Mohd. Minuman bin Susu. “The only thought that comes to my mind is, mmm, maybe I’ll go and buy a nice, cold milkshake!”
People also criticized MORRONSÂ’ design as being unrepresentative.
“At best, Singaporean women’s breasts are more like pears than papayas,” said Mr. Quah Tay Teck. “To tell you the truth, they’re not even like fruit. They’re more like fried eggs.”
In view of the rejection, the old poster design will remain. In fact, there are signs that it is even popular.
Said Dr. Nair, “We’re getting requests for the poster from all over, but most especially from SAF units. It’s nice that our fighting forces are so supportive of breastfeeding.”
According to MINDEF spokesman Lieutenant Colonel See Nee Per, “We’ve found that for some strange reason, the poster has boosted morale in the camps greatly. Maybe it’s a hint to add more dairy into cookhouse rations.”
The posters are also apparently popular amongst elderly men.
For instance, Mr. Lim Peh, the 93 year old columnist for TalkingCock.com, has put up a copy in his bathroom.
When asked why he would want one when there was no one in his family who is lactating, he replied, “Aiyah, I just like to keep abreast of social issues, mah.”