If a gal whom U knew not long but she is willing to share...
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Originally posted by chunyong:call back say i love u, then bed her, get her tummy big and marry her. can be found in 'how to marry a gal in 10 days'
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My friend told me she did mention that if she likes a guy she will not take the initiatives
Well, it is nothuing wrong to do so but she prefers my friend to always approach her. it seems my friend will be very tired? -
errr mayb this ger is jus tryin to seek attention though.
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AGREED!Originally posted by chunyong:some gals like to purposely say such thing, once u get the wrong idea and start to chase, they then reject u....got people chase then they can show off to their friends.....got such people one....take precaution
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things are nv made known until u seek clarification. lol
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In the game of seduction, the minute you fail to see through the other party's intention, motive, reaction and behaviour, you wouldn't know what the hell is going on. Lucky thing, tyco click on this post, if not wouldn't have knew about its existence.Originally posted by bus:
Hi, All. This is the latest updates from my friend.
He SMS to the gal saying he got good feeling about her etc..... and call her but she did not answer the call last week. Later that night, the gal SMS him asking him" Did u call me just now? I am busy with my work"!!!
The question is " How can she does not know it when her HP has a caller ID function? It seems she did it purposely(I mean SMS to my friend after my friend did comment that he had good opinion/feeling about her). Any explanation to this?
The 2 still keep in contact. The gal did mention that her best friend(also single) like bowling (my friend also like) and she would introduce her friend to him!!! When my friend mention OK, the gal KEEP QUIET!!!
When my friend mentioned that someone introduced another gal to him, this gal immediately ask:
1. Did U ask her out before?
2. Did the 2 still keep in contact?
When my friend mentioned: " U seem to be very concern about me and the gal"... She quickly defended herself
My friend seeks help from me and I also a bit blur about the situation now but I personally have a few questions
1. From what I describe above, CAN I SAY THE GAL IS ACTUALLY TESTING THE SINCERITY OF MY FRIEND AFTER MY FRIEND CONFESS HIS FEELING TO HER?
2. After my friend confessed to her, she still in contact with my friend, Can I say my friend "Still stand a chance"?
3. What is the position of my friend in this gal's heart?
All are welcome to express your view. Hope to hear from U guys/gals out there so that I can advice my friend. Thanks U in advance.
Ok, let me start from the begining. The girl sms her asking her 'did she called me.' This is perfectly normal. You people think too much - this is another way of saying 'Yes, why did you call me?' Therefore, dont implicate her behaviour from this.
You mentioned that the guy already made known to her about his liking, yet nothing occur. There would only be either of the three reasons.
I) This girl loves attentions; she like to be showered with love and concern from the opposite gender. Loves the little sms, chats, etc. To detect if she has belongs to his category - check out her obvious jealousy when the guy hangs around with another girl. (Best if she is prettier and more sociable).
II) She experienced a sad past - she feared to get onto another relationship. Her stagnant in her decision is due to her confusion in her heart. She 'thinks' that she MAY like him - not confirm and therefore the best solution is to remain good friends and see how. You mentioned that she has share her history with this guy - would be two possibility.
- Psychological preparation for him for if what the things she told him were her flaws, ex's flaws, etc - she subconsciously wants him to know or avoid making those similiar mistake.
- Its just casual and friendly to share. This would only occur if it is her personality to do it. Probably other good friends would know about this.
III) She doesn't know if she like him anot. Therefore she needed time to source for her own feelings. She stall, not because she fear, rather she wants to buy time to check out on the guy, his character, personality and tries to develop better chemistry before committing. Look before she leaps is her quote for this case.
P.S: Before anything - see if she is under which category. Different category has different way to react and chase. Sorry, I can't be there to check her out - then use your inner wisdom to find out.
Cheers -
mayb this gal is already starting to aviod ur fren etc. or u can jus ask ur fren to ask her directly, if she is serious well dat's it, ur fren has a gf, if not, at least u cleared thigns up
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
To Yunhaier, I believe U provide the BEST 3 scenarios. My friend told me she actually falls into ALL THE 3 CATEGORIES U mentioned
In the game of seduction, the minute you fail to see through the other party's intention, motive, reaction and behaviour, you wouldn't know what the hell is going on. Lucky thing, tyco click on this post, if not wouldn't have knew about its existence.
Ok, let me start from the begining. The girl sms her asking her 'did she called me.' [b]This is perfectly normal. You people think too much - this is another way of saying 'Yes, why did you call me?' Therefore, dont implicate her behaviour from this. You mentioned that the guy already made known to her about his liking, yet nothing occur. There would only be either of the three reasons.
I) This girl loves attentions; she like to be showered with love and concern from the opposite gender. Loves the little sms, chats, etc. To detect if she has belongs to his category - check out her obvious jealousy when the guy hangs around with another girl. (Best if she is prettier and more sociable).
II) She experienced a sad past - she feared to get onto another relationship. Her stagnant in her decision is due to her confusion in her heart. She 'thinks' that she MAY like him - not confirm and therefore the best solution is to remain good friends and see how. You mentioned that she has share her history with this guy - would be two possibility.
- Psychological preparation for him for if what the things she told him were her flaws, ex's flaws, etc - she subconsciously wants him to know or avoid making those similiar mistake.
- Its just casual and friendly to share. This would only occur if it is her personality to do it. Probably other good friends would know about this.
III) She doesn't know if she like him anot. Therefore she needed time to source for her own feelings. She stall, not because she fear, rather she wants to buy time to check out on the guy, his character, personality and tries to develop better chemistry before committing. Look before she leaps is her quote for this case.
P.S: Before anything - see if she is under which category. Different category has different way to react and chase. Sorry, I can't be there to check her out - then use your inner wisdom to find out.
Cheers [/b]
1. She had sad experiences with guys .. all turned out to be failures
2. Her family background is also complicated and my friend had yet to know FULL details so far considered the 2 just know each other for slightly 1 month old
3.I believed she need time to confirm as she is psychologically hurt and would not want to make the same mistake again.
From my point of view, what my friend need to do now are
1. WAIT and STILL KEEP CONTACT with her and DO NOT rush things
Agree with me? -
Yeah - rushing things is a no-no, considering the fact that he only knew her about a month. I always prefer longer friendship before relationship - at least, you would have a better picture about the partner you are seeking.Originally posted by bus:To Yunhaier, I believe U provide the BEST 3 scenarios. My friend told me she actually falls into ALL THE 3 CATEGORIES U mentioned
1. She had sad experiences with guys .. all turned out to be failures
2. Her family background is also complicated and my friend had yet to know FULL details so far considered the 2 just know each other for slightly 1 month old
3.I believed she need time to confirm as she is psychologically hurt and would not want to make the same mistake again.
From my point of view, what my friend need to do now are
1. WAIT and STILL KEEP CONTACT with her and DO NOT rush things
Agree with me? Keep an open mind and check things out. No hurry dude. Any complication, you could post at Aunt Agony and probably I can get back to you when I see it.
Cheers -
Hi, Thanks for your advices.
Well, my friend told me this gal is rather "problematic"
1. She had personal problems with her own family issue
2. She had bad experiences with her past relationships that she endulged in reading those traditional chinese novals (U can't find many people out there who liked all these) where she will tell my friend how women suffered during the olden days.
I feel that she is using those nobals to remind herself of her bad experiences - in short, still living in the past.
I told my friend to be careful and try to find out more about this gal as it is TOO EARLY to make any commitment although she shared a lot with my friend (plus points). -
Originally posted by bus:Hi, Thanks for your advices.
Well, my friend told me this gal is rather "problematic"
1. She had personal problems with her own family issue
2. She had bad experiences with her past relationships that she endulged in reading those traditional chinese novals (U can't find many people out there who liked all these) where she will tell my friend how women suffered during the olden days.
I feel that she is using those nobals to remind herself of her bad experiences - in short, still living in the past.
I told my friend to be careful and try to find out more about this gal as it is TOO EARLY to make any commitment although she shared a lot with my friend (plus points). For short-lived or dangerous future relationship, employing Art of Seduction would definitely weep her out and in no time they will be together.
However, I doubt your friend is looking for such things.
This is her personality. In theory of relationship, you have to accept the whole package and not the good ones only. The 'wait and see' tactics is just to buy enough time for him to realise IF SHE IS SUITABLE FOR HIM anot. This is very important for he MUST differentiate liking and suitability and not wait until they enter into the relationship and discover that she is totally not suitable for him.
Cheers -
We shared ice-cream....but we r jus normal friends....
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Well, my friend is also confused about the situation but he would like to start a relationship with the gal if chances permit.Originally posted by Yunhaier: For short-lived or dangerous future relationship, employing Art of Seduction would definitely weep her out and in no time they will be together.
However, I doubt your friend is looking for such things.
This is her personality. In theory of relationship, you have to accept the whole package and not the good ones only. The 'wait and see' tactics is just to buy enough time for him to realise IF SHE IS SUITABLE FOR HIM anot. This is very important for he MUST differentiate liking and suitability and not wait until they enter into the relationship and discover that she is totally not suitable for him.
Cheers
Well, from my point of view, this gal is also confused (not sure in her heart) as she had couples of bad experiences before and I believe she will not accept someone sooo easily without having to have a 2nd thoughts to it as I believed she wouldn't want to risk hurting herself again.
Now, my friend will not contact her that often to see how the situation goes and if after sometime, the situation doesn't improve, maybe the 2 are not fated in the 1st place?
I always believe for the 2 to be together, the 2 of them must put in efforts into the ralationship and not just 1 party alone. Am I right?
Hope to hear from u soon. -
You are right - its takes two to clap. Actually, regardless of what the party had gone through, basically for a relationship to form, there must be some form of mental and emotional preparation, together with the willingness to be bounded by the relationship.Originally posted by bus:Well, my friend is also confused about the situation but he would like to start a relationship with the gal if chances permit.
Well, from my point of view, this gal is also confused (not sure in her heart) as she had couples of bad experiences before and I believe she will not accept someone sooo easily without having to have a 2nd thoughts to it as I believed she wouldn't want to risk hurting herself again.
Now, my friend will not contact her that often to see how the situation goes and if after sometime, the situation doesn't improve, maybe the 2 are not fated in the 1st place?
I always believe for the 2 to be together, the 2 of them must put in efforts into the ralationship and not just 1 party alone. Am I right?
Hope to hear from u soon.
Why contact her less often? Just maintain the usual friendship and continue life as normal as if she was just a normal friend. Improve or not isn't by fate - its by free-will.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
I liked the last paragraph of your message as I find that it is rather meaningful
You are right - its takes two to clap. Actually, regardless of what the party had gone through, basically for a relationship to form, there must be some form of mental and emotional preparation, together with the willingness to be bounded by the relationship.
Why contact her less often? Just maintain the usual friendship and continue life as normal as if she was just a normal friend. Improve or not isn't by fate - [b]its by free-will.
Cheers [/b]
1 question
Is there a so call "Time Frame" for the 2 to go further and into a relationship?
I ask some of my friends and they told me NO, some cases can be as fast as few days to 2/3 months, some happened after 1 year or so and some can NEVER happen. What is your view? -
one more thing to add:
My friend told me that before they become more familiarise with each other, there used to be a regular exchange of SMSs between the 2. After she shared her past with my friend and the 2 are more familiar with each other, there is a cut down on sending SMS
Few questions to ask
1. Is SMS that important? She did told my friend that SMS doesn't mean anything and it is soldely for friends
2. Is she expecting my friend to call her personally and speak over the phone> My friend did so.
3. Is she some sort like "Playing hard to get" currently to see how my friend show his care and concern for her before she commit herself?
U can post me questions where I can help my friend to answer so as to have a better picture.
She did ask my friend whether my friend is still in contact with other gals beside her. When my friend told her YES (I also knew the gal), she quickly ask him a few question
1. Did he ask the gal out ALONE before?
2. Did my friend still in contact with the gal?
3. when my friend told her the gal is living near to his place, she quickly say " very near hor"... sound like JEALOUSY (one of the categories U mentioned to me before)
Some questions from me
1. Is the gal showing signs of interest/concerns for my friend?
2. Is the gal showing signs of jealousy over the other gal whom my friend know?
She did tell my friend that she expects her future BF to be 100% committed to her.. ?Is she very possessive type?
Hope to hear from U soon. -
Originally posted by bus:I liked the last paragraph of your message as I find that it is rather meaningful
1 question
Is there a so call "Time Frame" for the 2 to go further and into a relationship?
I ask some of my friends and they told me NO, some cases can be as fast as few days to 2/3 months, some happened after 1 year or so and some can NEVER happen. What is your view? It greatly differ from cases to cases. As for time frame, generally no. However, there are optimum level of time spent together for rational choosing and decision making. Unless probably I am there and knew the whole story, its difficult to explain in here.
Cheers -
SMS is just like sending alpha numeric message, emails or even small cards - it is a demostration of good will. Important or not - helpful, though it cannot win battle for you. Like all relationship courting mix - you have to combine every single tools for your advantage. This is the same for calling her.Originally posted by bus:
one more thing to add:
My friend told me that before they become more familiarise with each other, there used to be a regular exchange of SMSs between the 2. After she shared her past with my friend and the 2 are more familiar with each other, there is a cut down on sending SMS
Few questions to ask
1. Is SMS that important? She did told my friend that SMS doesn't mean anything and it is soldely for friends
2. Is she expecting my friend to call her personally and speak over the phone> My friend did so.
3. Is she some sort like "Playing hard to get" currently to see how my friend show his care and concern for her before she commit herself?
U can post me questions where I can help my friend to answer so as to have a better picture.
She did ask my friend whether my friend is still in contact with other gals beside her. When my friend told her YES (I also knew the gal), she quickly ask him a few question
1. Did he ask the gal out ALONE before?
2. Did my friend still in contact with the gal?
3. when my friend told her the gal is living near to his place, she quickly say " very near hor"... sound like JEALOUSY (one of the categories U mentioned to me before)
Some questions from me
1. Is the gal showing signs of interest/concerns for my friend?
2. Is the gal showing signs of jealousy over the other gal whom my friend know?
She did tell my friend that she expects her future BF to be 100% committed to her.. ?Is she very possessive type?
Hope to hear from U soon.
Game of love is a kind of seduction cum psychological game where both parties are employing different tactics, scheme to their own advantage. Considering the age that these two people are at - they are probably looking for serious, committed relationship.
You friend is testing if she is playing hard to get, on the hand, her stagnant in her decision could lies with her uncertainty with whether he can commit or not due to the 'abundance' of girls around your friend. Both are doing same thing, trying to achieve personal aim, unknown to each other that both's doings are counter one another's goal.
I mentioned before, this girl wants to look before she leap. Your friend are expressing qualities that hinders her leaping. Therefore she stall for clarity.
Advice:
He wants to chase, then just do it. Useless to play mind games, considering this intention, motive, situations and all-around factors affecting this case. He can date her out, act normal, forget about trying to see if she is jealous all that crap. Have a good dinner, humor conversation and probably a walk somewhere good.
Then he can talk to her, heart to heart about certain issues regarding relationship, love, definition, feel, thinking, etc. Trust me, he will need to go through this at least once, before he will know if she is suitable for him anot. Find a good timing and allow this plan to execute.
She will question about those girls he knew - tell her he is not interested in them at all. All other question, just answer truthfully. From there, he will have a real good gauge about her. Who knows, that day could be a day where the both of them come together as a couple?
Cheers -
wah.....Type until siao
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Hi, my friend had somehow got himself into this difficult situation
It seems my friend is doing the action and the gal is receiving it. The gal did not reject him as can seen from the conversation he had with her.
I just wished my friend can succeed. I find that gal will behave diffierently whenever a guy is going after them. I experienced it before. When the 2 are just friend level, she will be friendly and very open and behave very naturally BUT when she knew U are after her, she will like hid herself, behave not that naturally, expect the guy to take the initiative to call her etc...
Gals..... a creature difficult to understand. -
Originally posted by bus:Hi, my friend had somehow got himself into this difficult situation
It seems my friend is doing the action and the gal is receiving it. The gal did not reject him as can seen from the conversation he had with her.
I just wished my friend can succeed. I find that gal will behave diffierently whenever a guy is going after them. I experienced it before. When the 2 are just friend level, she will be friendly and very open and behave very naturally BUT when she knew U are after her, she will like hid herself, behave not that naturally, expect the guy to take the initiative to call her etc...
Gals..... a creature difficult to understand. Its kinda common case about people ya? In the game of seduction and chase, we see who has the upper hand, advantage and experience to detect and plan.
Cheers -
I just don¡¦t understand. Why these gals cannot accept the guy openly as we guy can accept the gal. ;( sian.
Why must they hide themselves to a corner, held close conversation with their close friends (must be gals as well), discuss about it, plan it etc.
My friend is now having a rather hard period but hopefully he can tahan this period as that gal must have a lot of doubts about his sincerity, personality etc.
From what my friend told me, I bet he had a rather high chance to go further except this gal is hesitating about it and currently she is staying at a rather low profile. She did not avoid my friend¡¦s calls, can still chat despite knowing his confession made to her sometime back.
Well, thanks to Yunhaier. We shall keep chatting in this forum and I will update anything once I got it from my friend
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I don't understand, why don't trun the table around and give the girl a bit of worry over the guy instead?
If the girl likes the guy she will also need to do somthing, why let her "pull your nose to walk "?
Guy keep giving in, even you get her so what, the girl aspect you to be the same forever, is that yourself?
Your friend give and she just take, please quote what so good about this girl.
Why make her feel like "princess" when you are not even the prince? -
Well, for the relationship to exist, the 2 must put in effort to realise it rather waiting for the other party to start the ball rolling. Am I right to say that?
Once 1 party takes the initiative, it is for the other party to judge his/her intention/sincerity before he/she will chip in as well.
Any comments? -
Guys keep giving and giving, girls keep waiting when is the guy limit to judge the sincerity?Originally posted by bus:Well, for the relationship to exist, the 2 must put in effort to realise it rather waiting for the other party to start the ball rolling. Am I right to say that?
Once 1 party takes the initiative, it is for the other party to judge his/her intention/sincerity before he/she will chip in as well.
Any comments?
Why the guy don't judge wether now the girl is sincer or not? I really don't like girls to judge guys this way. At least girls have to show something too. why waste time for a tree when you have a forest?