by Nonya Kway
It was revealed today that the new National Healthy Lifestyle Campaign aerobic workout was apparently inspired by the rumours that Deputy Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong slapped former Cabinet colleague S. Dhanabalan.
TalkingCock uncovered this when they tracked down the choreographer of the workout, Mr. Khee Pee Ee, an officer at the Health Promotion Board.
Initially, Mr. Khee declined to participate in this interview, until our reporter threatened to reveal details of his extensive collection of photographs featuring school boys in PE shorts.
Mr. Khee, who holds a Masters in Burpees from Loughborough (which Mr. Khee pronounced as ‘Lowbrow’) University in England, had designed the workout to symbolize Singapore in all its various aspects.
For instance, it includes moves from basketball (“Singaporeans like to carry balls,” Mr. Khee explained) and line dancing (“Now got FTA with America, I thought it must be good to introduce people to cowboy traditions”).
The dance, however, also seemed to include some martial arts moves, specifically a karate chop.
“That’s not a chop,” said Mr. Khee sheepishly. “It’s a slap.”
Apparently, Mr. Khee had designed the workout partly in tribute to soon-to-be Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.
“This year there’s a whole push to make him more appealing, mah,” said Mr. Khee, “So I wanted to include moves that he would be comfortable doing.”
Mr. Khee said it was obvious what move he should include.
“I slapped it all together very quickly,” he said, adding after a pause, “Uh, lemme rephrase that.”
The Health Promotion Board, like most other civil service departments, seems to have a fetish for acronyms, exemplified by their rather ungainly new concoction, “A.C.T.I.V.E. (All Companies or Communities Together in Various Exercises) Day”.
However, nowhere, not even on the HPB website or in the Straits Times press release, could this reporter find out what FUNFITT, the puzzling name of the official workout, stands for.
Mr. Khee refused to confirm or deny it stood for “Father’s Unilateral Nominee, Feeling Insulted, Tekans Thambi”.
