Some sex stuff
-
Question: Why is the "69" position is also called the "smokers position?"
Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray.
Question: Why sperm donation is more expensive rather than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!
An old man married a young girl. On wedding night he showed five fingers to his wife.
Young girl: Ooh, darling! 5 times?
Old man: No dear, choose which one you prefer to start.
Man 1: My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 1st gear, 2nd gear
Man 2: My wife is worst, she puts my bird inside her and says "Full Tank" pls.
Question: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.
Question: What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer: It's Virginia because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant and left 2 baggages outside!
2 prostitutes were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Prostitute 1: I smell sperm!!
Prostitute 2: Sorry, I burped!!
A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got out off hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to go doggy style!"
A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank.
The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake".
"Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been ... raped".
Man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra. Chemist said that it would be useless.
Man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing
on my shoes".
Secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you comment on this?
"The truth is that she has a big mouth!"
A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love. She said, "Aww, so solly... exkooz me pleazo, Flont hole so happy back hole laugh out loud".
What is common between a swimming pool and a wife - for both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.
Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you better
have a good hand.
What's the difference between biology and sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom; that is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour; then it is sociology.
What is the useless piece of flesh attached to the penis called - The Man.
Whoever first said that: "A dog is man's best friend" had never seen a pussy before.
Why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes in attractive containers.
Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad".
Why was two-piece bikini invented?
To separate meat section from the dairy section.
Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb".
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month -
Originally posted by kopiosatu:
Question: Why is the "69" position is also called the "smokers position?"
Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray.
Question: Why sperm donation is more expensive rather than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!
An old man married a young girl. On wedding night he showed five fingers to his wife.
Young girl: Ooh, darling! 5 times?
Old man: No dear, choose which one you prefer to start.
Man 1: My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 1st gear, 2nd gear
Man 2: My wife is worst, she puts my bird inside her and says "Full Tank" pls.
Question: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.
Question: What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer: It's Virginia because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant and left 2 baggages outside!
2 prostitutes were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Prostitute 1: I smell sperm!!
Prostitute 2: Sorry, I burped!!
A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got out off hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to go doggy style!"
A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank.
The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake".
"Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been ... raped".
Man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra. Chemist said that it would be useless.
Man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing
on my shoes".
Secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you comment on this?
"The truth is that she has a big mouth!"
[b]A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love. She said, "Aww, so solly... exkooz me pleazo, Flont hole so happy back hole laugh out loud".
What is common between a swimming pool and a wife - for both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.
Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you better
have a good hand.
What's the difference between biology and sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom; that is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour; then it is sociology.
What is the useless piece of flesh attached to the penis called - The Man.
Whoever first said that: "A dog is man's best friend" had never seen a pussy before.
Why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes in attractive containers.
Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad".
Why was two-piece bikini invented?
To separate meat section from the dairy section.
Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb".
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month[/b]
