My bf is a workaholic, help needed...
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Dear fellow friends... I feel so tired... my bf is very passionate abt his work, sometimes i feel he is more passionate in his work than me. I know this is his job and I must be supportive. But I am tired of being the understanding, supportive angel who is always there for him when he needs me, who will always be there waiting.. and waiting and waiting just to see him...
I tell myself I must be understanding. I tell myself not to have negative thoughts, i tell myself to do things that will divert my attention... constantly... every now and then.
but somehow i still feel very tired.... what shd i do? i really dunno.
I feel depressed that i cannot be his perfect angel....
He is helpless abt it too... this is his job and he cannot shun away his responsibilities... but this is slowly eating up our rs....
wat shd i do... wat shd i do....[/url] -
It's really nice to hear that you have a boyfriend who cares for his carreer and who is responsible for himself. It's also a good thing that you are understanding and caring enough to support him by his side throughout this relationship.Originally posted by xiao_xue:Dear fellow friends... I feel so tired... my bf is very passionate abt his work, sometimes i feel he is more passionate in his work than me. I know this is his job and I must be supportive. But I am tired of being the understanding, supportive angel who is always there for him when he needs me, who will always be there waiting.. and waiting and waiting just to see him...
I tell myself I must be understanding. I tell myself not to have negative thoughts, i tell myself to do things that will divert my attention... constantly... every now and then.
but somehow i still feel very tired.... what shd i do? i really dunno.
I feel depressed that i cannot be his perfect angel....
He is helpless abt it too... this is his job and he cannot shun away his responsibilities... but this is slowly eating up our rs....
wat shd i do... wat shd i do....[/url]
However, from what you had described about how you are beginning to feel tired and all... maybe, if you still have a chance to meet up with your boyfriend during his off-days or weekends, try communicating with him and tell him what you feel all these while. Tell him also that you understand his situation so that he'll not misunderstand your statement.
The most important thing in a relationship that I would still wanna stress is: Communication and Emotional Openess (means saying what u feel and being expressive in a positive way).
If you've got any further doubts or problems, just post here again. I'll try my best to help. -
Express your concerns to your bf. Hopefully, he may be able to manage his time effectively between his work and spending quality time with you.
He must understand that as a boyfriend, he holds responsibility to you. Work may be critical, but you should be no less important to him too. -
I dun much about relations nor the communications that goes on in one.
But as something like a workaholic too, I suppose your bf might have some undisclosed reasons for being so 'on' about is work?
Both Hammer and Xavier are right. It'll be better for u to have a proper talk with him to enhance ur understanding of the situation. -
Maybe yr bf wants to provide u with a good life in future therefore he need a good and these days jobs are so insecure...
talk to him... see him he can make some arrangements to have some time for you. -
Have you ever tried talking to him whether is there a solution... Passion is still a passion, but it seemed that time is the factor that borth of you should consider... you must find time with him that he could give time for the relationship for both of you... As many had said, it takes two to build up a relationship... So he too must commit in the relationship to make it a whole, regardless whether he has work....Originally posted by xiao_xue:Dear fellow friends... I feel so tired... my bf is very passionate abt his work, sometimes i feel he is more passionate in his work than me. I know this is his job and I must be supportive. But I am tired of being the understanding, supportive angel who is always there for him when he needs me, who will always be there waiting.. and waiting and waiting just to see him...
I tell myself I must be understanding. I tell myself not to have negative thoughts, i tell myself to do things that will divert my attention... constantly... every now and then.
but somehow i still feel very tired.... what shd i do? i really dunno.
I feel depressed that i cannot be his perfect angel....
He is helpless abt it too... this is his job and he cannot shun away his responsibilities... but this is slowly eating up our rs....
wat shd i do... wat shd i do....[/url]
Cos even Im the busiest, i ll definitely find time for my missing rib...
So if he is willing, den both of you must co-operate together to find time for each other or as you said, this relationship will fall apart...
Do it asap or the consequence won't be as delightful as you can imagined... -
Hope your bf aren't in the police force as working hours can be rather irregular like nightshifts etc then but that depends on what unit also.
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well well well...Originally posted by xiao_xue:Dear fellow friends... I feel so tired... my bf is very passionate abt his work, sometimes i feel he is more passionate in his work than me. I know this is his job and I must be supportive. But I am tired of being the understanding, supportive angel who is always there for him when he needs me, who will always be there waiting.. and waiting and waiting just to see him...
I tell myself I must be understanding. I tell myself not to have negative thoughts, i tell myself to do things that will divert my attention... constantly... every now and then.
but somehow i still feel very tired.... what shd i do? i really dunno.
I feel depressed that i cannot be his perfect angel....
He is helpless abt it too... this is his job and he cannot shun away his responsibilities... but this is slowly eating up our rs....
wat shd i do... wat shd i do....[/url]
dun u want a happy future where...
the two of u get married, no much worries whether economic crisis
or not...comfortable with luxury cars, house, maids, cards....
in a so realistic world, Love is no long bread k...
so...continue to be a supportive gf...
at the same time, do more things of ur interests...
hang out with friends...do some social stuffs...sports and etc...
wouldn't it be nice to have some freedom?
and who knows maybe u will meet someone better than him?
Keep an open mind...u r not married yet k!
:-) -
I noe someone, married, who is so devoted to work that he can sleep/stay in the office overnite. Pity his wife, like no husband or widow....
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it's a job!
damn! if my job means i do not get enough time with my partner, i'm leaving the job!
where are his damned priorities?? -
welll.... he is in the police force....Originally posted by chunyong:Hope your bf aren't in the police force as working hours can be rather irregular like nightshifts etc then but that depends on what unit also. -
i think if u choose to his gf, u should be supportive with his career as well..for a guy, nothing is as impt as his career.ok, gals may feel sad about it..but hey, if a guy without a career would u gals wanna choose him??...Originally posted by xiao_xue:welll.... he is in the police force....
moreover, if he got free time n mostly are spent on u, u shouldnt complaint tat much lar.. -
Thanks everyone for your prompt replies!
most of you mention communication..
i too believe in open conversation...
i shd say he did put in the effort to talk to me.. to listen to me thou sometimes he can doze off while talking... hee...
hai... no choice lar... who ask me to fall in love with a man who is so devoted in his work.... -
i've wondered this:
how do people in Retail or Restaurant industry maintain their relationships with such insanely long hours? -
they have relationshsips with people in the same industryOriginally posted by AzRaeL:i've wondered this:
how do people in Retail or Restaurant industry maintain their relationships with such insanely long hours? -
Just a week ago, newspaper publised that singapore guys' probability of getting impotent is getting higher... due to the high demand of work... higher stress level.... so scary...
this is price of getting modernization.... -
thats why i say....
having regular sex is very important!
at least 1-2 times a week... -
frm wat I gather, there's no clear indication on how much time he has left for u... if u can still meet him once a wk for dinner and wkends... nothing much to complain abt rite?
instead of just sitting ard and wait.... why not have ur own social life? go out with ur gfs, hang out at the cafe with a book, take up a hobby...
dun put unreaslistic demands on him (he's oledi overwork and probably under tremendous stress) or urself (u've been doing well so far wat)... and since he do make an effort to communicate with u, means he do care.. u r not just something to slot his time when he has NO work... he's a responsible guy, so learn to live with him happily....