Woman Speak

• kopiosatu

  20 Jul 03, 17:26

  You want = You want
  
  We need = I want
  
  It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
  
  Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
  
  We need to talk = I need to complain
  
  Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
  
  I'm hungry = (a) Make me something to eat.
  (b) Stop what you are doing, scrape together your last $5, and go drive across town and get me something to eat, I don't care if what you are doing is important.
  
  I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron.
  
  You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
  
  You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
  
  I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.
  
  Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
  
  This kitchen is soÂ…inconvenient = I want a new house.
  
  The car is empty = Go fill it up
  
  The trash is full = Take it out
  
  The dog is barking = Go outside in your underwear and see what is wrong
  
  I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
  
  I need wedding shoes = The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
  
  Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
  
  I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
  
  Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
  
  How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
  
  I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
  
  Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
  
  You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
  
  Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
  
  Please walk me home = Let's go make out.
  
  It's all right, dear. = You'll pay for this.
  
  Yes = No
  
  No = No
  
  Maybe = No
  
  I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
  
  Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get use to it.
  
  Was that the baby ? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
  
  I'm not yelling ! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
  
  All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOSH there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
  
  [u]In response to "What's Wrong?":[/u]
  
  The same old thing. = Nothing.
  
  Nothing. = Everything.
  
  Everything. = My PMS is acting up.
  
  Nothing, really. = It's just that you're such an _______.
  
  I don't want to talk about it. = Go away, I'm still building up steam.
  
  What makes you think there is something wrong? = I'm going to kill you.
• wuming78

  20 Jul 03, 18:04

  
  
  being able to discern and decipher woman speak, i guess u mus be damn popular with them!
• piopoz

  20 Jul 03, 18:10

  I've gotta pee = Get out of the way.
  Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  Can I get your coat? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  Let me get your door. = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
  Nice dress! = Nice Tits!
  You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.
  What's wrong? = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this.
  What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
  What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
  I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
  I love you. = Let's have sex now.
  I love you too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
  Good morning. = That was great sex......let's have more!
  See you later. = That was great sex......let's have more!
  Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.
  Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
  Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair!
  Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
  I'm going fishing = I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
  It's a "guy thing" = There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
  Can I help with dinner? = Why isn't it already on the table?
  "Uh huh," "Sure, honey", or "Yes, dear" = Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
  It would take too long to explain = I have no idea how it works.
  Take a break honey, you're working too hard. = I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
  That's interesting, dear. = Are you still talking?
  I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses. = The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
  Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal. = I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
  Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing. = And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
  I can't find it. = It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
  What did I do this time? = What did you catch me at?
  I heard you. = I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.
  You look terrific. = Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.
  I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are. = No one will ever see us alive again.
  We share the housework. = I make the messes, she cleans them up.
  
  While shopping:
  Yes, that one's nice. = Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway?
  That one looks great on you. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
  I like that one better. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
  Uh huh. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
  I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.
• duotiga83

  20 Jul 03, 18:12

  human beings are complex
• Master -_-

  20 Jul 03, 18:13

  Originally posted by duotiga83:

  human beings are complex

  Cute cute cute cute
• Future4ossiL

  22 Jul 03, 01:51