Why is it so difficult to remain as friends after a breakup?
-
I have seen that it is almost impossible to do so? Pai seh?
Any comments? -
possible if both dun use their as[/i]ses as brains
-
nah its possible...
just that u have to let go of the thought that u two will become together again...
my best friend is my ex...
-
It all boils dow to how he/she thinks. I have encountered gals that I went after before. They will avoid me (like seeing a ghost) before I can start a conversation with them and it is also pai seh after the so called Courtship. Gals will not be so "Da Fang" to accept the guy as friends. I am not ruling out the possibilities by the way.
-
It is still possible...depends on both parties' thinkings...Originally posted by bus:
I have seen that it is almost impossible to do so? Pai seh?
Any comments?
Though there will be some difficulties as well....
Either party will feel weird or jealous when they c the other party wif another person.....natural reaction.... -
there are exceptional cases though...
-
i believe it is hard to maintein a friendship which is no "pure"
can one really be tat rational to differentiate bet the past and now?
even duo the fact is tat u are friends now, however there was once tat u are so close to him/her and u will tend to treat him/her beyond friendship if u still have tat "feeling".
finally there is an ego factor as both of u were once together (perhaps) so wat he/she do now somehow links (actually not) both of u together.
u will not be happy to see her with someone who is worst off then u.
u might think tat "wa liao, her taste so bad, even such guy can get her and y did we end up this way and might start to compare...
I believe it is due from case to case basis, but how many really have treat their ex or the gers they courted as friends.
unless they can live in the face of disappointment, failures and "face" factor. -
ladies, how did ur ex and the guys who courted u but failed react?
and likewise, how will u react when u r in their shoes?
-
As long I was honest with them and didn't string them along, I don't alienate the guys who were turned down. The problem comes when a girl goes overboard with her flirtations and then when finally she rejects him, things turn very awkward. Because she feels embarassed and the guy feels hurt.
My experience is that more often guys DON"T WANT to remain as friends after they're turned down. Because once a girl is no longer a potential target, they totally lose interest & disappear!Originally posted by abterror:ladies, how did ur ex and the guys who courted u but failed react? -
its depends on what situation causes the break off. like my examples, i still remain as good friends with my ex-boyfriends and gtg out wif them sometimes . We broke off cos we dun have anymore feelings to each other...
Another case that one of my ex-bf still hate me till now though we had broken off abt 3 yrs plus liao. I "zhao sai" and the relationship ended like this....
So its all depend on the stituation.... and also whether the party choose to be friend with u or nt.... thats my views!
-
Actually it is always simple to be friend after breakup.....There are things to take notes....Don't ever tok about things in the past....Treat her like every friend of yours, dun show special care and concern to her anymore..(When she wanna a break from a relationship)Cause when a girl wanna to leave you it mean she wanna freedom mah..if yu should too much care plus Concern she might think yu are going to control her again..Be a Joker and Good Listener is what your ex should need
-
IF THEY ARE HURT, they will retreat into their cave and hide.Originally posted by choco B:As long I was honest with them and didn't string them along, I don't alienate the guys who were turned down. The problem comes when a girl goes overboard with her flirtations and then when finally she rejects him, things turn very awkward. Because she feels embarassed and the guy feels hurt.
My experience is that more often guys DON"T WANT to remain as friends after they're turned down. Because once a girl is no longer a potential target, they totally lose interest & disappear!
not lost interest and disappear. -
u got see b4 zhao sai ending can still be friends one meh....Originally posted by lv_gal:its depends on what situation causes the break off. like my examples, i still remain as good friends with my ex-boyfriends and gtg out wif them sometimes . We broke off cos we dun have anymore feelings to each other...
Another case that one of my ex-bf still hate me till now though we had broken off abt 3 yrs plus liao. I "zhao sai" and the relationship ended like this....
So its all depend on the stituation.... and also whether the party choose to be friend with u or nt.... thats my views!
very rare la.
dont tell mi u tell him straight in the face tat u zhao sai him......
(believe tat is the worst ending) -
A guy will definitely feel lousy or very hurt if the gal he is seeing is actually cheating behind his back. It is best that there is a clear indication between the 2 and don't treat/play with the other party's feeling.
One fine day, someone do the SAME to U and U will understand how people feel initially.
As for still remaining as friends, it depends on 2 party to put the past behind & keep in contact. IT is not easy to do that. -
i oso hope to be friends with my ex.. we've been friends for about 2 yrs before we got together for 1 yr and we broke up about half a yr ago... but i was the one who initiated the break-up and i still feel i was quite harsh about it.. i really hope we can still be friends how i dunno how to approach him.. i'm afraid that he is still angry with me...
-
nt realy ..depends on both parties
-
agreee wif u...Originally posted by elmoloveyou:It is still possible...depends on both parties' thinkings...
Though there will be some difficulties as well....
Either party will feel weird or jealous when they c the other party wif another person.....natural reaction.... -
oh.. tas so sad.. i broke up with my gf 4 abt 4 yrs liao.. n i still misses her alota.. worst part is that she doesnt want to see me initially n nw we dun even keep in contact...Originally posted by lv_gal:its depends on what situation causes the break off. like my examples, i still remain as good friends with my ex-boyfriends and gtg out wif them sometimes . We broke off cos we dun have anymore feelings to each other...
Another case that one of my ex-bf still hate me till now though we had broken off abt 3 yrs plus liao. I "zhao sai" and the relationship ended like this....
So its all depend on the stituation.... and also whether the party choose to be friend with u or nt.... thats my views! -
it actually depends on the reasons y u all break up....
me n one of my ex-bf r still frans, though not tat close n don mt often.... but still have sms contact.....
one ex-bf not in contact anymore....
ex-lover still in contact...... n mt up sometimes.... we share each others stories..... very much like close frans -
can be done lor...but its all depends on both party thinking....
-
Originally posted by sh|nY_BoY:can be done lor...but its all depends on both party thinking.... really must depend on both party..keke i think my ex hate me alot after break off so...
-
Originally posted by bus:
I have seen that it is almost impossible to do so? Pai seh?
Any comments?
Why asking this type of question?
And the person asking is always the one wanting to be friends.
And the one not wanting to be friends will be the opposite party. -
Well, I have crushes with a few ladies before but it is them who avoid me! Well, I can be a gentleman if they treat me well but on the other hand, I can also be a "demon" if they treat me coldly.
Well, we are human beings after all and everyone have feelings. -
Haha.
Ignore those who ignore you -
yeah u`re right..some break up liao..then they like dont want to talk to u liao...not even frens .. like mine lor... my ex.. n me is like stranger...hmm 2 months liaoz....Not i didnt talk to her...is she kinda... dao lor... so.. i also cannot do anything...Originally posted by yuiko: really must depend on both party..keke i think my ex hate me alot after break off so...