BABY FOOD
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in
the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so
big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked, "Then why did you eat
him?"
SUPER BABY
A baby was born so advanced in development he could talk. He looked around the
delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked.
"Why, yes, I am," said the doctor.
The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth."
He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?"
"Yes, dear, I am," said the mother beaming.
"Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said.
He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?"
"Yes, I am," his father proudly answered.
The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his
index finger. "Hurts, doesn't it!
BABY MIX
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife
if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife
"No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy
bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is
black"
"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere
to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."
"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and
I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell
you that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and
there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I
hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."
"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little
Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the
girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum.
The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank God for that!"
"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that it
was going to bark."
Hilarious 
