What kind of qualities you look for in a mate?
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As someone has mentioned what he/she doesn't like about the opposite sex... why don't let's now find out the qualities we look for in a mate??
For me? I'll simply put it this way: -
Top 7 Qualities (No more, no less)
1. Character
2. Emotional Openess
3. Integrity
4. Maturity = Responsibility
5. Healthy Self-esteem
6. Positive Attitude towards life
7. Personal Chemistry
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mate as in a good friend, be it male or female. or a boy/girlfriend?
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just as long as she likes me for who i am ,that alone is enough to satisfy me for a lifetime
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one quality that i look for in a gf:
that she does not form such a list, like i don't, becos it's pointless.
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No matter how fat she is, how ugly she is, a good heart and like me no matter who i am, it is the best...
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define "mate"
Soul mate or just e mating kind of mate?
lolz
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Originally posted by harryryan:define "mate"
Soul mate or just e mating kind of mate?
lolz 
like that must put ability to breed in point 8 -
Mate as in someone for mating purposes?
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Originally posted by angel911:As someone has mentioned what he/she doesn't like about the opposite sex... why don't let's now find out the qualities we look for in a mate??
For me? I'll simply put it this way: -
Top 7 Qualities (No more, no less)
1. Character
2. Emotional Openess
3. Integrity
4. Maturity = Responsibility
5. Healthy Self-esteem
6. Positive Attitude towards life
7. Personal Chemistry
win liao lor -
Originally posted by jOhO:one quality that i look for in a gf:
that she does not form such a list, like i don't, becos it's pointless. x2 -
uhh. looking for a partner for life, or looking for someone to fill in a job vacancy? jOhO is right.. love for your partner should be unconditional...Originally posted by jOhO:one quality that i look for in a gf:
that she does not form such a list, like i don't, becos it's pointless. -
exactly... kinda weirded out for my 3 years in Melbourne
i guess it's a different definition of the word to them... but i'm not some drunk at the bar's "mate"Originally posted by Dorian-X:Mate as in someone for mating purposes? -
at least there must br chemistry.. thats enough.. feelings.. for each other..
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you see, believe it or not, many pple have a list of criteria which they tick off everytime they "interview" someone to be a partner, only to find such a "perfect" person which they have NO FEELINGS for!!
and to be honest, no one knows wat is perfect for ourselves. it's like a jigsaw, they all look like they're gonna fit, but only two pieces will really fit into each other (okok i know it's 4 pieces except at the edges, but for argument's sake pls just get wat i mean!)
how about we all just follow our hearts, instincts, throw in a bit of rationality, and LEARN to love the person for the qualities that are not a pre-req of wat we want in a partner becos we haven't generated such a list? isn't that ideal?
maybe ideals in the world today is also plain useless....
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i don't think so... ideals, to me, are personal.. so if someone else wants to be without ideals, dreams and principles, it's their own...
to me, it helps me make sense of my own world and existence
if others want their partners to have this and that criteria, it's their rightOriginally posted by jOhO:maybe ideals in the world today is also plain useless.... -
rather similar to mineOriginally posted by angel911:As someone has mentioned what he/she doesn't like about the opposite sex... why don't let's now find out the qualities we look for in a mate??
For me? I'll simply put it this way: -
Top 7 Qualities (No more, no less)
1. Character
2. Emotional Openess
3. Integrity
4. Maturity = Responsibility
5. Healthy Self-esteem
6. Positive Attitude towards life
7. Personal Chemistry -
yeahhhhhhhh! thanx man, pple like u encourage me to hold on to my own!Originally posted by the Bear:i don't think so... ideals, to me, are personal.. so if someone else wants to be without ideals, dreams and principles, it's their own...
to me, it helps me make sense of my own world and existence
if others want their partners to have this and that criteria, it's their right
wat i possibly meant, and u probably guessed, was that in the world today, pple just "make do" u know wat i mean? especially in sg.
since we're on the topic of relns (which leads to marriage and families), it's so apparent in sg that pple slog for everything else except marital bliss and family values.
am i getting a bit OT here? 
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just out of interest, wat do u mean by "character". everyone has a character wat...Originally posted by angel911:As someone has mentioned what he/she doesn't like about the opposite sex... why don't let's now find out the qualities we look for in a mate??
For me? I'll simply put it this way: -
Top 7 Qualities (No more, no less)
1. Character
2. Emotional Openess
3. Integrity
4. Maturity = Responsibility
5. Healthy Self-esteem
6. Positive Attitude towards life
7. Personal Chemistry
and then we have emotional openess.. i presume u're a girl, from your nick, so that's why u're putting that down for a criteria for men. cos if u're a guy, i'd say some (if not many) are struggling with the emotional aspect of the human female!
the rest of ur criteria seem "fair enuff".
hope u find that person, AND u both fall in love with each other. no point if it's one-sided no matter how perfect "in theory" u both are for each other. -
my ex and i discussed this before..
we came to the conclusion that almost all spend their time planning the wedding and none of their time planning their marriage and life together...Originally posted by jOhO:yeahhhhhhhh! thanx man, pple like u encourage me to hold on to my own!
wat i possibly meant, and u probably guessed, was that in the world today, pple just "make do" u know wat i mean? especially in sg.
since we're on the topic of relns (which leads to marriage and families), it's so apparent in sg that pple slog for everything else except marital bliss and family values.
am i getting a bit OT here? -
arr yes indeed, getting OT liow but this is a GOOD OT! ahhahaOriginally posted by the Bear:my ex and i discussed this before..
we came to the conclusion that almost all spend their time planning the wedding and none of their time planning their marriage and life together...
let's bring it back to b4 marriage, but on the same wavelength.
i remember when i was much younger, i'd chase skirts becos it was the thing to do. it was great to have someone's hand to hold walking down the mall, watching movies and to do that i needed to chase them.
so chase i did, and got caught up in the infatuation of it all, only to be at a total LOSS when i did "get" the girl, becos in the frenzy of chasing her, i never thot of wat i would do or wat would happen should i really "attain" her hand (pun intended!).
that was then, of course now it's different. but the point is illustrated isn't it? many get into a reln and then ask "now how?". it's like the chase is over, and now there's no more "goal"....
maybe in line with this topic, i could comment that the goal isn't to to meet someone with all the criteria we list, but rather HOW we're gonna live with them in harmony and how we would treat them since they are supposed to be our special person. -
correct but still a good character is imptOriginally posted by jOhO:maybe in line with this topic, i could comment that the goal isn't to to meet someone with all the criteria we list, but rather HOW we're gonna live with them in harmony and how we would treat them since they are supposed to be our special person. more importantly,, there must be committment, love, trust, faith and hope in one another -
okay, let me define mate. It's your future girlfriend/boyfriend.
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often u set those limit abt e person u wish he/she hv but when u meet e real person n e one u like is often oppo of wad u expect or set..
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ya chemistry v impt den he must like me for wad i'm.. no matter wad ugly state i m in.. & oso must accept not only e gd pt but oso bad pt of me!Originally posted by cHeR|sH^LoVe:at least there must br chemistry.. thats enough.. feelings.. for each other.. -
Originally posted by erijazz: x2
One thing to understand. I don't form such a list to expect from my girl. I don't want to force the situation. But the reason why I choose to form such guideline, is to give myself some priority when choosing a mate. This is because choosing a mate is very important. Nobody is perfect, and I wouldn't want a perfect quality out of this list.
For instance, if I ask for a girl to have character, I'm looking for a gal who treats herself, and others well. Also, who knows how to take care of herself. someone who is responsible for things and not take things for granted. This is just an example
It's important to set some priorities because in this way you won't get lost in your own purpose in life. Even if my girl is missing some points from the list, I believe that if I truly love her, then love can change all things.It will then be the last & greatest solution to change one's life.