NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM:
None.
Most Asians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed in to a
Seven Eleven, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave
before the cashier can even blink an eye. If it's not available, Asians
optimistically apply the other birth control method. (See below)
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at
everything...
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early
appointment, food not digested
yet, air cond not cold enough, air con too cold, nail polish not dry yet,
forgot to take the pill, sleepy,
stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water
supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara", depress, no mood, etc.
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Asian men never refuse sex.
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon:
Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thoughts, why bother pronouncing Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I thinks it sounds better, when the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot". When I was in school, Milo was always Mee Lo, now that I'm sophisticated, I say "My Lo". So don't be embarassed saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as "rangutan".
NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION:
The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a
bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets.
