girls are so difficult to understand
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why are sg girls so difficult to understand? u dun really know what they are thinking inside them, and they are always doing things that u may misunderstand. but when i'm a outsider, when i'm advising friends on their relationship problems, i always guessed correct the gers thinking and why they are doing some things, but when it happen on myself, its my friends turn to advice me. but i juz could'nt accept it. so in the end i presume their thinking and did it, and in the end, its not a happy ending, moreover i still dun understand what she is thinking inside her.
recently i known, for 7 mths already to be specific, i knew her thru the most prehistoric way, by approaching her and introducing myself, its so obvious already isn't it. then we become quite close in terms of calling each other and talk wif each other at least 3 times a week, i did alot of things like secretly buying her something that she told me she wanted long ago, she was real happy when i gave her that gift which i search high and low for it without knowing excaltly what it was, i went thru sleepless nite to finish a puzzle for her.
there was once she told me to go to her workplace and she gave me a gift, a neck chain. i was overjoyed. it was her first gift to me, and when it was my birthday she gave me two titanic poster wif leo and kate in them and she took the trouble to lamenate it. we would talk for hours on the phone thru the nite, in it, she told me all abt her daily happenings ad sometimes her unhappy happenings, i thought things were going really great for us, i mean its so obvious that i'm going after her rite, with the sudden approach to know her, to the regular calls and the gifts. there was times she asked me y i wanted to befriend her, but i was afraid to scare her so i change the subject. then there was twice i express my feelings to her thru the hp mails, she called me and asked me if i was for real, again i changed the subject. my friends say that its so obvious that she's intrested, but i was uncertain. things was the most sweet during this x'mas, i went to her doorstep and gave her the gift, it was a teddy bear with a i love u message on its hat and a diamond ring i bought for her tied around the neck for her. i was afraid she might reject it, b'coz it was the first time i ever did something so obvious, but i was wrong she accepted it and called me immediately to thank me, i was overjoyed.in the end i finaly plucked up my courage and express my feelings thru the phone, that was few wks later, i asked her in a indirect way, if i want to be more than friends do i stand a chance, she asked me if i was joking, i say i wasn't and she said "but i have a bf" i knew she had one since the day i met her, but i beleved in sincerity and the best man win, fair challenge.so i asked her if she do have any feelings for me, she say she dun know how to say, but she have a bf, and she had treated me as a close friend whom she could confined in, after more than 1/2 hr of conversation, i finally asked her pls tell me u have no feelings for me then, let me gave up this last hope, she refused and say that she dun know how to say, WHAT IS THIS ! i juz wanted to forget abt her, but she....could'nt even help me to lessen the pain, why? why did she accepted my ring? i really give up trying to understand gers now, they are so difficult to see thru their hearts -
its better to let the girls do the understanding then us trying to understand them...
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sumtimes, it's difficult even to understand yourself, trying to understand another person may not be easy after all.
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"Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done"
---- Wong Kakui (1962-1993) -
hrmm...in actually fact,not onli gers are hard to understand,guys too sometimes have difficulties in understanding them.
That's human nature,i guess.
sometimes when u did something for the one u like,u need not think of the repayment that u get lor,wat i mean is that even if u did so much for her and she dun repay u back watever u also cant blame her rite.and my repayment doesnt mean in terms of materials but in terms of of feelings.anyway wat u did 4 her is willingly one rite,then that's good enuff cos at least u didnt let urself down lor.
so even if she chosed u or not is not that important afterall wat,at least u gotta know her and somemore close friend...the rest decisions is up to her lor.maybe one day she will realize u are more suitable 4 her and she will go 4 u ? love matters sometimes are juz hard to say and wat i wan to end is tat,u cant always predict some1's thinking or watever cos everyones mind is complicated and it will tend to change due to circumstances,so it can onli leave to the rite situation to make the rite choice.
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Dreamz FM -- Meng Fei Chuan -
takeshi,
wat u've done....would have touched her..made her confused..esp when she has a bf......to say she has no feelings for u..might be deceiving u......
in the 1st place, y go after her knowing tat she has a bf?...... now u're the one who suffer...and u ever spared a thought for her? u doing these for her, then make her so touched.....yet she can't reciprocate ur feelings......
wake up and go on with life...
learn to let go
all the best to u!
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"Life is not about what you've gained, but what you've done"
---- Wong Kakui (1962-1993) -
Have you ever thought of it from a girl's point of view? That it feels just as difficult to understand what the guys are thinking of sometimes.
It gets tired trying to guess the answers to questions that I'm thinking of, how good would it be if we could all read minds.
Tak:
Seriously, the girl you are or were going after has a boyfriend, but then through all her actions, we can see it's a lie if she says she doesn't like you, but then, she has a commitment, her bf. Maybe she was wrong in a way that she's led you on, but in the first place, why did you go for her knowing she's attached? Doesn't that make it your fault
too?
I's not exactly that difficult to understand a girl actually. It just....
takees time and some patience if you try. -
yeh..I agree with changni.. You need time and patience to understand a girl. I guess she does like you, but she already has a boyfriend. But think about it this way, what would you do if you were her? Think of what dilemia she would be in. You know something, you should cherish the times both of you spent together. Cherish the past and present, think not of the future or forever. Things all come to an end, its just a matter of when.
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Time is like sand in your hands. When the wind blows it away, you can never get it back. -
thanxs attitude....i'm really touched and grateful to ya reply...it did lightened me up alot...thanxs again....to answer ya questions though, i knew its might be useless to go after a ger who's attached, but i always thought that people should do things following their heart and feelings tell them wat to do...isn't it rite...then i was confused too...thinking whether its worth it anot....but i told myself if i dun go for it , i might regret it...u see i'm a very shy guy, not abit but a lot...so what i did for her took mwe a lot of courage i dun think i would do anything like what i did for her again. but it did build up my courage alot.. u really think she has feelings for me, and she's touched by what i did? i hope so...but frenzs say that she's juz toying with me, but my feelings tells me truthfully that she's not, and i trust my feelings. i guess its all my fault. maybe she really did treat me as a frenz, maybe she's really so innocent that she didn't sensed that i like her all along......mAybe.....recently i tried very hard to isolate and get her out of my life........i tried not to call her, msg her, bump into her, but still when she needed help, i'll always be there for her, tahts wat i told her. recently, she was juz asking if i could help her buy the kitty, i did'nt promise her anything, she too juz asking, if i could get it(if i myself is buying) help her buy one...but wat she doesn't knew is that i dun go for such stuffs...but juz to make her happy, i was one of the 1000 over crowds at bishan, since wed nite.. i skip my half days lect for her, but i dun regret it, when i told her that i got her kitty, she was so happy, but she never asked my how i got it, oits as if its so easy for me to get it for her. of coz i was upset but as long as she's happy, but she found out what i did for her, and she msg me sorry, so many times....but i told her that as long as she's happy, its fine with me.. til now we never really contact, i haven't pass her the kitty yet, i really feel like calliung her, telling her abt wats happening around me everyday......but thinking.......i think its best i stop contacting her, or i might not be able to control my feelings, moreover she might not be as anxious as i am to share her daily happenings.every now and then, i always think abt the ring that i bought for her, is she wearing iyt or is it already lying somewhere in a deserted part of her room. i dreamt of her too, not really often, only twice since the day i met her, but it was really sweet.there r times i really wonder if i'm juz a tool that helps her with everythihng, like giving her notes that might help her, doing things for her, does she appreciates it at all? does she feel anything at all? i really dunno. like now, am i ever occupying a place in her mind now, thinking why i've not been calling her lately. how i wish i am. but never the less , thanxs everybody who have been replying to my topic. not only attitude but people like swatch especailly , thanxs. and also to the others. i would keep on updating the current situation to u all if u dun find me a bore, thanxs again for everything, i really need it.
oh yes, changni too.
[This message has been edited by takeshi kaneshiro (edited 30 January 2000).] -
It's okay, we understand. =)
Guess it's just the part and parcel of life.
I've been thru' things like such...
What really straightened me out was something I heard a DJ say on radio a few days/weeks ago.
"Life just goes on this way, with u liking some people who doesn't return your feelings, or people liking you without u feeling the same for them... until you find that special someone one day, and the 2 of you fall in love..."
I guess that'll be the person you would probably share a lifetime with. -
Hi Takeshi,
To luv is to "give" not to "take". If u luv her, give yr best n let GOD do the rest. I believe she do hv feeling 4 u but just feel confused by her many options. Give her time to choose. U cannot deny she deserve that option. -
so takeshi..hows things with you and her?
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Time is like sand in your hands. When the wind blows it away, you can never get it back. -
can i ask something, u said to give her time....ok, so how long are u willing to wait???Originally posted by timothy:Hi Takeshi,
To luv is to "give" not to "take". If u luv her, give yr best n let GOD do the rest. I believe she do hv feeling 4 u but just feel confused by her many options. Give her time to choose. U cannot deny she deserve that option. -
Hmmm....
[This message has been edited by timothy (edited 21 February 2000).] -
Hmm... how long to wait does depends on how long u r interested. An apple MAY taste sweeter when it is ripe but some people does like it when it is sour ( Green Apple ).
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hi guys, been some time i ever post a new topic, well, as usual, things aren't really gd btw me and her (the ger i was talking abt last time).
well, the last time i left off, well, this time should all start fr the valentine's nite.
i bought her a gift, and a bouquet of flowers. went to her place, intending to give her a surprise, actually she cant come down, coz her dad's in, but i begged her, saying that i have a test tomorrow, and i havent study for it yet. she came down, and she told me that she sneaked down while her dad's in the dining room, i asked her to closed her eyes, she was surprise and shocked (dunno how to describe) , when she saw the flowers, she asked me why i give her flowers, and when i pass her the gift , she asked me y too. i dunno how to say, but i was happy, coz she looked so sweet when she closed her eyes. i asked her to go up then, if not her dad's gonna scold her, she say nvm, and chatted with me for a while.when she was leaving to go up, i went on my way home, (that was in the nite) i happened to saw her father standing at the window, lookin down, and followed by her sis. b4 she went up, i told her to called me if she like the gift, she called me when i was on my way home, told me that i got her into big trouble with her dad, asking her y this guy keep on giving her gifts, she say she dun wan it, i was really sad hearing this. (do u think she mean it) after that she told me to called her when i reached home.
there's twice i dun know how she came to know that i have a test , she msg me for gd luck asking me not to panick. i was so happy on that day. the other time was the previuos nite i was chatting with her til wee hours when the next day i have a very imp test. in the morning, she msg me gd luck again, and asked me if i;m tired anot.
there's something i dun really understand is that y she never talk abt her bf, and when ever i ask abt her bf (only once that is) she would juz answer me back one short answer and change the subject. recently i msg her, she never reply, and i say that sori to bother u guess ya with ya bf now, and told her that i wont bother her anymore....not again anymore. she reply saying that she's at work. ( u think she's angry, and she can juz dun reply me one rite?)
guys, tell me what should i do, i heard fr a ger frenz of hers that her bf is very handsome, ............maybe i should give up, shouldnt i, guys? i really dun know, i think she maybe really treat me as a ordinary frenz onli, is that possible? wat should i do then if i shouldnt give up? -
Takeshi,
First let me ask you this question" Do you like her or not?" if the answer is "yes", please don't give up.
My piece of advice to you is grabe every chance you have. Try not to delay the matter for too long. Things might chage as the days gone by. trust me in "my story" i lost because i thought the delaying is nothing.
Anyway good luck to you. -
Well...i found this phrase on the net some time ago.. maybe u like to hear it...
"If U really love her, Set her free"
Its sounds meaningful to me...makes sense...maybe u can think about it....
All the best...!! -
Hey man, firstly, u gotta know that it is NOT your fault. She's not married, so u stand a fair chance. Who cares if her bf's handsome or not, best man wins.
You should stop feeling upset about not being able to understand her, or let your self esteem suffer just because of her. Honestly, I really think it is HER fault for leading you on, only to cause more hurt when she reminds you that she has a bf and she's not gonna ditch him for you, even after those lengthy phone calls into the early morning, the acceptance of all those gifts, etc. She knows very well what u feel for her, and she's just plain leading you on.
There are many more fish in the ocean, so go get yourself another one! Even if "to love is to give," you're giving to the WRONG person! I sincerely urge you drop it here and get on with a much ahppier life with someone else who can make it happen.
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I am Nobody.
Nobody's Perfect.
I am Perfect. -
Girls. ( Shakes his head. )
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if not hard to understand not called gals liao lah...infact guys are oso difficult to understand lah
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Wow... this is one of the many male victim testimonies that I've come across. Takeshi, I take my hat off to admire you for your perserverance & your courage.
There are a few angles to analyse this matter.
First:
She's too soft to hurt your emotions, and unknowingly, she's causing MORE hurt in the process by hoping she can make you happy SOMEDAY when she finally breaks up with her gorgeous hunk. (being indebted to your kindness)
Second:
She doesn't really appreciate the relationship she has with her current boyfriend and is seeking solace in you. Commonly heard phrases: Chemistry, feel good/happy when I'm with you... (A Convenient Replacement?)
Third:
By your actions, you have been poofing her ego and makes her feel wanted and accepted. Most girls may tend to have an inferiority complex due to not being loved and wanted, therefore they seek BG relationships early to seek that desired acceptance they are craving for. For most guys, it's their lil' bro wanting to explore untouched terrains. Or perhaps, wanting to feel love and accepted too by someone tender.
I think she has been rather self-centred by her actions - by not being honest with you, by asking you for the impossible (the Kitty) which perhaps could be the modern day equivalent of fetching the moon and the stars for her.
On the other hand, she has been kind to you too with her presents for you. Every action she takes is a decision she makes. And all actions have consequences. (ripples to you, her boyfriend, her family and ultimately her personal confusion..."Should I stay or should I go?)
Seems like her boyfriend doesn't know a single thing about what's going on. If you still find the shoes of her boyfriend an inviting position, go ahead and find yourself in a position of being deceived and a dishonest girlfriend. A half truth is still a full lie.
Though understandably your heart is pining for her, I foresee more trouble should you ultimately win the throne of her heart and be the man in her life. I don't think the current man in her life hasn't been given much respect, has he?
Last thing, if she were your girlfriend right now, and is seeing some guy who's doing exactly the things you are doing, and she is also responding the same way to you, how would you feel?
Take care of your tender heart, takeshi! You're a nice fella! -
Do what u tink is rite 4 u at this particular moment. neber procastinate. carefully thought out what u wanted for both of u n bear all consequences. don't regret cos there is no turning back.
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hi guys.......its been long....i have been not contacting her anyway for abt 1 mth now, i suddenly realised that i really need her, i cant live without her, i was thinking should i contact her now? issit too late? com on guys....what should i do?
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Takeshi... from what you have describe about yourself....it seems to be like my situation here, only thing different abt me and you is that i have oredi given up all hope of patching with her. Cause I find she prefers the company of her ex rather than me...I don't know why she also avoid the issue of her bf whenever i ask her abt it.....even if he was her ex, she has been staying overnite at his house for a period of time when I was still her bf.....I gave all i could, did all i could, but i just couldnt get her full heart. So in the end, I told myself that it was better to give it up for now....if she's meant to be yours, she will return to you.
it's gonna be difficult, REALLY difficult, but you have to try. though physically, you may be able to see her, be with her....but the actual fact is that her heart has been shared by two guys. It's unfair for you and her present bf. why not you just let things be and let her make up her mind abt who to choose. patiently wait for your chance to come. i am not really sure what i am typing, but wat you were feeling then and now was exactly what and how i felt abt 1 month ago......i still can't really forget her totally, coz everything that i do or places i have gone with her still lingers in my mind clearly. just give yourself time.
howevre, if you are so sure you would really want her for your life, and that there aren't better girls out there, den go ahead and wait for her!!!
sincerity counts greatly.
but if you should give yourself a chance in this cruel world, why not. just tell yourself you are not at a losing end here, coz its gonna be her loss if she doesnt choose you.
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Spaces between our fingers are there so that another person's fingers can fit in them, I wish they were yours -
From what you say earlier, I believe she does have feelings for you. When a girl is in a relationship, she will want it to work out. Its not easy being in one serious relationship in the first place. Its not easy to give up whatever you have now to take a risk in a new relationship. Ask some girls, and they will choose a man who loves them rather than someone they love. Nowadays, its not easy to live on love alone.
Once, I was caught in such a situation. I had a bf, he loves me, is faithful, and wans to marry me. However I chose to leave as he is not the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I will choose the guy I love (if there is one...hehee).
I believe one day she will be more truthful to herself about how she really feels.
Good Luck!
Something to ponder about:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all - Helen Rawland
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Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart..but if you dun, u might break theirs..