As a couple, will you to cohabit (tong ju) before getting ma
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Nowadays it is not uncommon to hear couple staying together in their own place or their parents' place during their relationship.
Guy stay at girl's place or vise versa.
Some find that it went well and got married soon after while others find out more about their partners and could not be together after it.
What are your views on this?
Pro or against?
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~CloneMe~
It can't rain all the time.
[This message has been edited by ^3rdWatch (edited 09 May 2002).] -
Well, its pretty normal for couples to cohibit nowadays because by then, you really get to know the person well and his/her living habits. Although it is common, but i don't stay over at my boyfriend's place hor!!
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huwah.........
Clone, u so "OPEN" ah!!!
tong ju somemore ahhhhh....
It has its pro n con lah....
Pro - can get to know ur partner better before getting married
Con - coz it is like "mei ming mei fen" stay wif your bf/gf .... wait those "three mushrooms, six grannies" wag their tongues den think both side parents oso wont be happy lor
I dun think i will lor...
But if ROM liao den can lah...
coz it is considered Legally married liao mah...
:p -
tong ju ??
its ok la... but dont 10 months later get a new life to earth can liao. -
Mj of course you can lar...guys never loose out in these kind of things what...only gals then loose out....sighzzzz
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yah lorrr guys don't lose out 1 ... unless very EXCEPTIONAL cases .. e.g. BM kenna "raped" by a "humongous" creature (ger)lor ... then he sure cry 1 ....
what I think is ... the best is NOT to cohabit unless ROM (legally married). -
It is not a matter of losing out.
Ladies no matter what will always lose out in current society mindset.
But which party is the losing one in a failed relationship is contestable.
The question is... will staying together, pooling resources and all things a couple does living together, help in deciding the next step (marriage)?
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~CloneMe~
It can't rain all the time. -
Well i guess it does help in some sense as this is like a steeping stone to the next step(marriage)in life? Whereby both person can actually feel and foresee whatever they have to go through once they are married? Well like what often ppl say, being together is easy, staying together makes it hard.
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I don't mind..my parents do...
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shh.. I was once warned against pre-marital sex during 1 of my birthday..1 where I'm not single..
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Wah....... tok abt tong ju ah.....
got good and bad points lor....
good, u can learn the other party's bad habits before saying the magic 'YES, I DO'.....
bad, bed life may not exciting after real marriage
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wanna know each other better before saying the 3 words "Yes, I do" .. so tong ju?
why not get married and live together .. then see if you can live with each other?
if not, divorce? how about that? -
Divorce like cancel movie ticket so easy?
Use brain please.
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~CloneMe~
It can't rain all the time. -
eh please ... I AM using my brains ...
I'm just PRETENDING to be "liberal" or "open-minded" or watever ....
I object to "TONG JU" before marriage ...
gals dun get anything ... no $$$ ... at least divorce can get $$$ ?
*evil grin* CRAP? hahahaha -
Nah....if you stay together after you get married and found that you cannot stand each then divorce...don't you think that you are treating marriage like a game? Although getting married and divorce is as easy as abc but let's not take marriage vows that lightly....
[This message has been edited by Hershey (edited 10 May 2002).] -
Of coz, "tong ju" have bad and good points loh.
Agree with all the ladies here, that definitely u all will lose out. That is no doubt about it. Even, if not due to unprepare pregnancy. You will hv to live with some gossips, esp if u hv friends or neighbour who r "sangu liupo". Your reputation will be affected.
But the agreement to "tong hu" is a 2 person business. When u agree to "tong ju" with that guy u love, means u hv trust in him that he won't do anything to u b4 marriage, jus learn abt each other good and bad habits by staying together.Also it provides u an opportunity as a training ground to work as a couple to start a family.
And guys, try not to betray this lady who r willing to "tong ju" with u. She really trust and love u. If u dun intend to marry her, please don't agree to "tong ju".
If both parties hv the correct mentality "tong ju" is a gd thing. But if one party hv bad intention (normally is the guy la...hee..) then I think it will cause a lots of trouble, heartache and eventually breakup...b4 leading to marriage. -
Definately agree with Sotongs...I mean hey if the both of you have good intentions of cohibiting together..why not...but if the both parties are not willing to go on to the next step in life(marriage), then don't do it.
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i think cohabiting is ok. I would rather cohabit than get married. I dont believe my marriage will go on smoothly so i dont believe in marriages. I agree that women will always be in the losing end because of the current society mindset but i dont agree that women will be at the losing end. It always takes two hands to clap. Having sex doesnt mean the girl is at the losing end, both parties enjoy what they are doing , the only setback is the girl is the one carrying the child. Thats why both parties mus be responsible enough to be more careful in their actions. the best birth control method will be NO sex at all la of course haha. But i think is very important that ple hav sex only when they really love each other. erm maybe guys dun think like that.. hahaah
cohabiting is like marrying illegally without papers. -
I dun mind tong ju as sometime tru tong ju, u get to noe tis guy beta, like his normal lifestlye. if u wait till u 2 r marry thn get to noe abt hi livin lifestlye. u tend to complain here n there, like mayb he like to throw his socks arnd.... So actually tis is a chance to let u to noe tis guy beta lor.
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Answer the questions again once I no longer single..
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xavier.... maybe u wanna try out with shanel..
as she dun mind u dun mind
and i lend u my room if u parent mind u cohabit... -
what i think is even when u really want to tong ju with your bf/gf. One thing leh u love her/him very much, when come to tong ju u wil get to know each other sheng huo fa shi, u then realize both of you dun really like are you goin to end the relationship like that.
A lot people tend to get well but how many? -
Xav n shanelz.... must be glad tat u know mahjong/karaoke. He is so helpful n generous :pOriginally posted by mahjong:xavier.... maybe u wanna try out with shanel..
as she dun mind u dun mind
and i lend u my room if u parent mind u cohabit... -
BM jealous ah?
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bm if u want
u can come here tong ju with me...