1. Don’t get mad at us if your bag doesn’t fit in an overhead bin. There’s limited space on an airplane, and if your bag doesn’t fit, we will do our best to find a space for it. Getting upset with us when everyone is trying to find a space for their bag isn’t going to make the process go any faster.
2. Stop trying to sit in first class if you don’t have a ticket. You make it awkward for everyone if you see an open seat in first class and think it’s OK to sit there. We’re going to have to ask you to move, and everyone is going to watch as it happens, and you will have to walk back to your actual seat in shame.
3. Don’t leave your computer out during takeoff because you’re “working on something important.” Don’t make us come to your seat and fight with you to put your laptop away. It’s the rules that you have to put away large electronics. We’re not there to interrupt your work, especially because you were told in advance that you need to put that away.
4. Stop ignoring our safety demonstrations in the beginning of the flight. We’re not telling you what to do in case of an emergency for the fun of it. Our job is to make sure that if something does happen, we can get everyone to safety as quickly as possible. Give us that respect and take your headphones out - for less than five minutes - to hear what we have to say.
5. Don’t come up to us in the middle of boarding and ask for a cup of water. Boarding is an extremely chaotic time. We’re trying to get everyone in their correct seats, find space in overhead bins, and then close all of the overhead bins, so we can close the airplane door and leave the gate. We also don’t start getting paid until the aircraft door is shut, so we would appreciate if you bring a water bottle or wait until things get settled to ask us.
6. Don’t snap your fingers at us or poke us to get our attention. We will refill your drink or answer your question, but there’s no need to be rude or to invade our personal space. If you think we skipped your row when taking drink orders, we didn’t. We bring the cart a few rows past you to take more orders at once.
7. Save your complicated orders for a restaurant. Do not come on the plane and expect us to have a fully-stocked bar and five types of coffee. If you come on a plane asking for two shots of Patron or a double macchiato, you’re probably going to be disappointed. And if you are, please don’t flip out on us.
8. When we’re taking your order, please take off your headphones. It can get really annoying when you have a row of three people, and each one says, “What?” when you ask them for their drink order because they still had on their headphones.
9. If you have dietary restrictions, don’t expect us to have everything you need on the flight, especially if you don’t let us know in advance. We will try to accommodate dietary restrictions like being gluten- or dairy-free, but we might not have everything you need. Sometimes food runs out, or the plane is switched out last minute and your special food isn’t on put on the plane. It’s always best to bring something with you that you can eat, just in case we don’t have something for you. And if you didn’t request a special meal in advance, don’t expect us to have your vegan or gluten-free option – we’re not a Whole Foods.