Wenger's desperate attempt to end Arsenal’s trophy drought

• zocoss

  2 Apr 11, 02:37

  ARSENE WENGER'S PITCH PLAN IS PERFECT

  

   

  Arsene Wenger believes re-sizing the Emirates pitch might help Arsenal

   

  ARSENE WENGER is going back to the future in a desperate attempt to end Arsenal’s trophy drought – by shrinking the Emirates pitch to the same size as the old Highbury surface.

   

  The Gunners have not won any silverware since moving from Highbury in 2006 and manager Wenger believes a return to a shorter, narrower pitch can help their title run-in.

  After a brief training session today, the players will help resize the pitch with white-line rollers.

  An Emirates mole said that Wenger wants to downsize the pitch to exactly match the dimensions of the successful Highbury surface in time for tomorrow’s visit of Blackburn.

  Our mole added: “Robin van Persie faces a late test to decide whether it is safe for him to pick up a roller.”

  The Emirates pitch is 105m by 68m, but Wenger wants it reduced to the Highbury dimensions of 100mx66.7m. On a smaller pitch, his teams won three Premier League titles and three FA Cups.

  FIFA spokesman Olaf Orpil said: “So long as Arsenal’s pitch conforms to the regulations, they can do as they please.”

   

• omgukilledkenny

  2 Apr 11, 22:24

  lol. April fools!

  FIFA spokesman "Olaf Orpil" is an anagram for April Fool.