'DIRTY' JOKES
-
Originally posted by Darkknighthuang:
A guy went to a whorehouse in Bangkok and tells the pimp he wants a ‘white tiger’ (one with a shaven pussy)
The pimp directs him to room 13.
Upon opening the door of room 13, the guy sees a naked girl, with her legs spread open, lying on the bed. He also sees a dark patch on her crotch.
He goes back to the pimp and tells him: “I think you made a mistake. I want a white tiger, with no hair below. The girl in room 13 is not a white tiger”
The pimp says he is very sure the girl in room 13 is one and brings the guy back to the room.
Again, upon opening the door, they see the same girl, naked on the bed and sure enough, there’s a dark patch on her crotch.
The pimp led the guy into the room, went close to the girl and tells the guy: “She is white tiger”.
He then wave his hand over her crotch and all the flies flew away.
wah, so dirty
-
Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be moving"
New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly"
Neighbor 1: "So what is it you do for a living?"
New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning"
Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what is that?"
New Neighbor: "Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog."
Neighbor 1: "That is right"
New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, Leads me to deduce that you have a family."
Neighbor 1: "Right again"
New Neighbor: "Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife"
Neighbor 1: "Correct"
New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual"
Neighbor 1: "Yup"
New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning"
Neighbor 1: "Cool"Later that same day...
Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door"
Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?"
Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job"
Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah what does he do?"
Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University"
Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that"
Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?"
Neighbor 2: "No"
Neighbor 1: "Fag." -
Three old ladies were walking on a quiet street one evening when they were confronted by a flasher. He walked up to the ladies, opened up his coat and flashed his erect thingy to them.
The 1st old lady was shocked and had a stroke.
The 2nd old lady was shocked and also had a stroke.
But the 3rd old lady, she refused to touch it.
-
Originally posted by Darkknighthuang:
Three old ladies were walking on a quiet street one evening when they were confronted by a flasher. He walked up to the ladies, opened up his coat and flashed his erect thingy to them.
The 1st old lady was shocked and had a stroke.
The 2nd old lady was shocked and also had a stroke.
But the 3rd old lady, she refused to touch it.
me don't get it
-
Stroke has diff: meanings,look it up in the dictionary.
-
Originally posted by Applar:
Stroke has diff: meanings,look it up in the dictionary.
care to define the hidden meaning -
Originally posted by Chris1988:
care to define the hidden meaningx2. yalor, what does the other meaning means?
-
He means, stroke as in like help him pcc like that. or another meaning like touch
-
There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.
The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."
The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."
The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A third grade teacher told her class, "Children, we are going to begin to study a little sex education. Tonight, girls, your first assignment will be to find out from your parents how to avoid getting pregnant. For you boys, your assignment will be to go home and find out what a penis is."
So little Johnny goes home and asks his father, "Daddy, what is a penis?" The father pulls down his pants and points proudly saying, "Son, that is a perfect penis."
The next day, when Johnny gets to school, his best friend runs up to him on the playground and says to Johnny, "I forgot to find out what a penis is! What's a penis!"
Johnny tells him, "Come on." So they both go into the boys room and Johnny pulls down his pants. He points down and says, "There, if that was a little smaller, it would be a perfect penis!"------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Telephone Sex Therapy Clinics to Take Credit Cards
In light of a recent court decision allowing medical clinics to accept credit cards for their services, several sexual dysfunction clinics have announced that they will now accept major credit cards as payment for counseling services. They include:
# The Clinic for Treatment of Voyeurs will take the "Discover" Card
# Those getting treatment at the Bondage and Discipline Clinic can charge to their "Master Card"
# Patients at the Treatment Center for Extramarital Affairs with Foreigners will pay with their "Visa" cards
# The Oral Sex Dysfunction Institute will accept "Diners Club"
# Patients at the Premature Ejaculation Clinic can pay with their "American Express"
# The new Center for the Treatment of Persons who Think they can have Sex with Anyone will take "Carte Blanche"
"We're still trying to find someone to take the Shell Oil card," said a credit card industry spokeswoman.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
Men's Mastercard Commercial
Cover Charge $15.00
Round of Drinks $23.00
Table Dance- $30.00
Another round of drinks $23.00
Couch dance and tips $50.00
A round of shots $34.00
Private dance in your hotel room $300.00
Being able to send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: ***PRICELESS****
There is something money cant buy, for Everything Else there's a mastercard