25 Cinematic Cliches We Never Wanna See Again
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I thought there's this sort of thread before but nil results in the searches..so here goes.
25. That in period pieces, vintage cars are always freshly polished, painted, and clean. They never have scratches, dents or any signs of use.
24. Every time weÂ’re introduced to a police precinct house, one or more colourfully dressed prostitutes are being brought in while bickering with their arresting officer.
23. Chinese food takeout in a movie always comes in those little white boxes, which I have never, in my life, seen chinese food arrive at my door in. I desperately want it to, but it never does.
22. If a bar or clubhouse has a pinball machine, itÂ’s gonna get fcuking trashed during a fight scene. (IÂ’ve ALWAYS wanted my own pinball machine, so this one makes me wince)
21. That itÂ’s only after the detective has been suspended (and obligatorily forced to place his badge and gun on the lieutenantÂ’s desk) that he can properly crack the case.
20. That in war, only the enemy (usually the Viet Cong) were ever low-down enough to stoop to using booby traps.
19. People being chased by a car who run top speed down the middle of the street instead of simply ducking somewhere where a car canÂ’t follow, which happens to be pretty much anywhere except the middle of the street.
18. Young gorgeous women constantly falling in love with men much, much older than they are. In other words: Fuck you Jack Nicholson and Clint Eastwood.
17. Chess players are always always brilliant, charming, upper class people, while card players are always sneaky, foul mouthed, and prone to cheating.
16. When an innocent cough is always a symptom of terminal illness.
15. Women that never have enough sense to keep running while being chased by an enemy unless a guy is pulling her along by her hand or wrist — despite the fact that this takes them far below the speed either one could go on their own.
14. That somehow singing in a moving vehicle always makes something terrible happen.
13. If someone dies with their eyes open, someone will close them by effortlessly moving their hand over the deceased face — and they will remain tightly shut.
12. If our protagonist goes to a sporting event, no matter who he is, his face will always end up on the fucking jumbotron.
11. Women that donÂ’t sweat during sex.
10. That every helicopter shutting down emits the chirp-chirp-chirp sound, in spite of the fact that only the Bell 47G (the chopper on MASH) actually makes this noise.
9. If a hero is divorced (and most are), that heÂ’ll have some contact with his ex-wife who will still have strong feelings for him even if sheÂ’s remarried.
8. All computer keyboards or control panels have thousands of volts just underneath their surface, and their malfunctions are indicated by a puff of smoke and a cartoonish shower of sparks.
7. That Native Americans invariably have mystical knowledge that can obtusely predict the future, or have a fundamental understanding of all things in nature .
6. That when a phone line is broken unexpectedly, someone will always frantically press the phone cradle button and yell “Hello? HELLO!?” with an emphasis on the second hello.
5. A splash of cold water in face will render the most inebriated person stone cold sober in a faction of a second. IÂ’ve tried it. It doesnÂ’t work.
4. When someone yells “You never backed away from everything in your life, now fight!!” while giving someone CPR or working to resuscitate a stopped heart.
3. Girls are always instantly attractive to every male if they take off their glasses and/or let down their hair, never mind that they were totally gorgeous actresses failing to physically portray a nerd in the first place.
2. Children or retards that are wise beyond their years/capabilities and that humble the adults around them.
aaaand: (Drumroll)
1. Dogs who always know who is evil, and bark at them.
Hmmm... they could have squeezed in Arnold's "I'll be back!". -
i love VH1's super secrets movie rules!!
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what about: during a police investigation, the detective always goes to a strip club to look for his informants
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even when the hero (or watever good guy male lead, handsome one, of cos) machine-gun at a bunch of ppl, the top evil guy always neber tio shot.....and there is always a chase in the alleys and staircases and hiding behind bins......and every gunshot will hit everything except the evil guy
and in HK movies/drama, whenever they need a cab, they jus wave their arm and say TAXI! and a taxi (empty taxi on a busy HK street) will come! -
and those chinese heroes can jump very far like nobody business during fighting...but take days and months to reach town to town....
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from 'the fifth element' to 'ultraviolet', why does Milla Jovovich gets stripped down to non in every movie and gets scrutinized like a laboratory rat?
i got nothing against Milla, she's great.
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my own:
when the bad guy is going to shoot the good guy, he must always give a speech before pulling the trigger. and then get knocked down before his speech is finished and lose his gun.
a man can keep fighting after getting punched in the face a dozen times.
when exploring a creepy place, someone will always fall down, slip, or break something and end up scaring the hell out of his partners.
people like to split up in dangerous places for no reason
you dont get injured after crashing your car 10 times at 100mph, but the police chasing after you all do. -
Take heart guys things can only get better as you age
And... dog's KNOW
Originally posted by BÃ¥seline:18. Young gorgeous women constantly falling in love with men much, much older than they are. In other words: Fuck you Jack Nicholson and Clint Eastwood.
1. Dogs who always know who is evil, and bark at them. -
in good romance movies (ones that makes lotsa $$$), the couple never get to live happily-ever-after. Either one of the lovebirds will die of some illness or accident and the remaining one will pine for him/her the rest of his/her life.
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Thank you, Hollywood
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caves and basements always have this high tech mechanism tt can open a big stone door when u twitch a vase
and auto close after the person walk in -
[*] the hero in the movie will always be able infiltrate the enemy's base and beat the crap out of all the bad guys single handedly no matter how many there are.
[*] The police will only arrive after the hero take down the bad guys and have a grand showdown with the boss.
[*] when hearing eerie sound coming form the basement, the female lead will always walk down to investigate. and get stalked by the psycho hiding down there.
[*] after defeating the psychotic killer. the female lead will always go and check to see whether he is truly dead. then the killer will magically come back to life and stalk her again. -
sometimes the male lead plays the guitar for the actress and somehow the guitar can make the sound of a piano, bass, guitar and drums.
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in any horror movie, for the love of God, TURN ON THE BLOODY LIGHTS!
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10 people fighting 1 guy? no problem, just attack the guy 1 by 1 instead of everyone at the same time.
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Any psycho worth his straightjacket would have cut the power first LOLOriginally posted by the Bear:in any horror movie, for the love of God, TURN ON THE BLOODY LIGHTS!
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only in the movies can someone operate a gpmg singlehandedly. AND yank a grenade's safety pin out with his teeth. I DO NOT RECOMMENED YOU TRY THAT IN REAL LIFE. Don't ask me why.
Whenever the good guys are chasing the bad guy into a building, they will ALWAYS, ALWAYS end up on the rooftop. And once the good guys reach the rooftop, the bad guy will always disappear, causing the good guys to be confused, until they suddenly burst out of nowhere with a weapon in hand. EPIC STRUGGLE ENSUES. It all ends when the bad guy falls off the building. -
Someone shooting a pistol/revolver will never run out of bullets even if a normal rev has like, less than ten?
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Indiana Jones shot 14 rounds from his revolver in RaidersOriginally posted by seow:Someone shooting a pistol/revolver will never run out of bullets even if a normal rev has like, less than ten?
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The big bad villain must die twice before the movie can end.
In a war movie, if you show a picture of your darling, you're the first to die.
If a big bad international terrorist is threatening to kill a few million people, your best weapons are wisecracks and sarcasm. -
instead of just killing the hero straight with a gun, the villain will always put the hero in some kind of a trap and leave the place without ensuring whether the hero dies or not.
after the villain left, the hero will always find a way to escape. -
Yes, I find it strange that a group of people that are being watched/stalked by a dangerous psychotic killer will choose to separate at the slightest opportunity.Originally posted by the.owl:my own:
people like to split up in dangerous places for no reason
E.g. Oooh, I left my wallet in the car! I absolutely must go alone without company or a personal weapon to my car which I parked within an obscure, unlighted, creepy part of the house where the killer confirm chop will be hiding nearby. And none of my 7 or 8 friends think its a stupid or dangerous idea.
Also, when the group encounters something dangerous or scary, ONE of them will ALWAYS scream or run away. And a chosen someone else WILL run after that guy. Then the group will later find their bodies killed in various ways. -
in cops films, if the hero desperately needs a car to pursue a criminal, he will just snatch any car on the streets by showing his badge to the driver. in most cases the car will end up smashed badly.
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After a burglary, there is always a cop nearby to give chase.
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n when the baddie has the hero under his mercy, he will ALWAYS run out of ammo...Originally posted by seow:Someone shooting a pistol/revolver will never run out of bullets even if a normal rev has like, less than ten?