Roger Ebert's Rules for Movies

• the Bear

  4 Mar 06, 10:20

  This is hilarious!
  
  Some of the rules and cliches of movies which are sometimes so apparent, you can't help but laugh when they appear.
  
  Things like:
  
  "Miss Blanche?" Character
  Any character in a film who is a false hero and exists only to get killed for shock value -- usually seconds after theyve found out the villain. Examples: Detective Arbogast in "Psycho," the cop in "Misery," the brother in "The Stepfather," the football player in the remake of "The Blob," and, of course, the maid in "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?" (The title comes from her last words.)
  
  'We've been expecting you...'
  Whenever a hero fights his way into the villains fortress, escaping multiple assassination attempts, he will be caught and taken to the villain, who will invariably greet him with, "We've been expecting you."
  
  Always Use the Valet Parkers
  Anyone who walks through a parking garage will be physically assaulted.
  
  For the whole glossary of 616 (so far) of these "rules" collected by Ebert, click here => Roger Ebert's Movie Glossary