Life's Lessons
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number 1:
A professor gave us a pop quiz.
I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions,
until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans
the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several
times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her
name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.
Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count
toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention
and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I've also never forgotten her name was
Dorothy.
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number 2
ickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing on
the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car
had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she
decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her,
generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s.
The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a
taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and
thank ed him.
Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console color TV was delivered to his home A special note was
attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my
spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my
dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for
helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole. -
number 3:Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy
entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of
water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sun dae?" he asked. "Fifty
cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his
pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice
cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing
impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied."
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream,"
he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and
walked away.
The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the
waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.
There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five
pennies
- You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he
had to have enough left to leave her a tip. -
number 4:The Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid
himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of
the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked
around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but
none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching
the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to
the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally
succeeded.
After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying
in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold
coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person
who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many
of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
our condition. -
number 5: Giving When it Counts
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a
little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease.
Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her
5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the
little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw
him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes,
I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled,
as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew
pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was
going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. -
Touching...
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Here are some good advice to live with:
1.Do not get drunk and talk to other people's girlfriends.
2.Do not stick your fingers in cigar cutters when you're drunk just because someone said "Hey stick your finger in here!"
3.Despite what we'd all like to think, not EVERYTHING is smokable.
4.Don't throw frisbee's at lit lightbulbs.
5.Eating a one-pound block of cheese is not a good idea.
6.Don't take pills just because they are there.
7.Don't get drunk and run around naked at a shopping center.
8.Yes, petrol smells good, but don't smell it for too long.
9.It is not fun to dance on the roof despite the thrill.
10.Most cats have claws so don't blow in their face just because they make a funny face.
11.If the girl you see in a bar is hot and drunk, she probably has boyfriend that is big and drunk.
12.If you see a homeless guy that looks like he's dead, don't try to wake him up.
13.And don't laugh at him either.
14.Just because they are wearing sunglasses doesn't mean that they are blind.
15.Don't hit shopping carts with your car, as fun as it may seem.
16.No it's not fun to get drunk and hit your drunk friend in the face with a champaign cork.
17.Do not burn things in the bathroom.
18.Disposing of a used condom in the toilet bowl is never a good idea, no matter how good an idea it seems at that time.
19.Don't try the above in your girlfriend's home either.
20.Don't show up at your friend's house with a bottle of Jack Daniels in your hand; his/her parents are sometimes at home.
21.Getting drunk and knocking on random people's doors at 2 AM may result in you meeting an angry man with a gun.
22.Yes, those goofy fake wrestling moves really do hurt.
23.Don't tempt drunk friends to "Spray me with that mace, i fu**ing dare you," because if they are drunk, they will.
24.Parents rarely believe that you're using the lighter to light candles.
25.If you work at a fast food place, and someone pulls up to the drive through and gets all cockey, don't spit in their food, give it to them and say "f**k off goat fu**er" under your breath because they may be your grandparents.
26.Girls know that you're not bending down underneath your desk JUST to get your pencil.
27.Just ignore those people who are selling you crappy toys and stuff at the ferry terminal and don't start scolding at them, they probably have knives.
28.This isn't TV; the bottles don't break on people's heads, they give them concussions. -
1) My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you
are going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
2) My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that the stain will come
out of the carpet!"
3) My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm
going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4) My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, THAT'S WHY!"
5) My mother taught me about ADVANCED LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing
and break your neck, you're not coming to the store with me!"
6) My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you are in an accident".
7) My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about."
My mother taught me! about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper!"
9) My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on
the back of your neck!"
10) My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all
of that spinach is gone!"
11) My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks like a
tornado hit it!"
12) My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a
million times, don't exaggerate!"
13) My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world,
and I can take you out!"
14) My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"
15) My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16) My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home!"
17) My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when we
get home!"
1 My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to freeze that way".
19) My mother taught me about ESP. "Put your jumper on, don't you think I
know when you are cold?"
20) My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your foot,
don't come running to me".
21) My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up".
22) My mother taught me GENETICS. "You are just like your father".
23) My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24) My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand".
25) My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope
they turn out just like you!"