A young lady who was visiting her mother, sat on a sofa in Bukit Timah on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea.
As they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea
leaves to the bottom of her glass.
"They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have,
you are still going to need girlfriends.
Remember to go places with them now and then;
do things with them. And remember that "girlfriends" are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters, and other relatives too.
You'll need other women. Women always do."
'What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman thought. 'Haven't I
just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake, a grown-up, not a young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother; she kept contact with her
girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life. After 50 years of living in this world, here is what I know about girlfriends:
Girlfriends bring you chicken curry and scrub your bathroom when
you need help.
Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets.
Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it,
sometimes you don't.
Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're
usually honest.
Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your
choices.
Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don't need canned jokes to
start the laughter.
Girlfriends pull you out of jams.
Girlfriends help you get out of bad relationships.
Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment, help you pack, and
help you move.
Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they
get married or have a baby, in whichever order that comes!
Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and when the hard
times come.
Girlfriends will drive through blizzards, rainstorms, hail, heat,
and gloom of night to get to you when your hour of need is desperate.
Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend.
Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.
Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.
Girlfriends cry with you when someone you loved dies.
Girlfriends support you when the men in your life let you down.
Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go.
Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy, and are ready to go
out and kill what makes you unhappy.
Times passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favours.
Men don't call when they say they will.
BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many
miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering
you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will
even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out .
My daughter, sisters, mother, sisters-in-law, mother-in-law,
aunties, nieces, cousins, extended family, and friends bless my life! The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.
Pass this on to the women who help make your life work. I just did.
