Platonic r/s with ex?
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Recent threads n posts of failed relationships, heartbreaks and experiences sort of bring back some memories for me.
Well.. obviously is me n my ex. She was the 1st one whom i really fell for. THen we broke up n i took it badly.. i guess the "1st cut is the deepest" is true in a way. I took a long time to get over things n it did not help tt we see each other almost everyday for 2 yrs. She once ask to get back together but i rejected coz i mean.. if the relationship cant survive the 1st blow.. wat's more a 2nd blow. But den.. the hurt n longing persisted over a period of time. For now.. they are all gone, at least most of it. Once in a while there'll be passing memories.
As i.c.y. had brought up b4.. whether one can actually get along n hang out as platonic frens. I did post tt it was impossible. At least rite now is this way for me. But i have for the longest time wanted to make things "right" n actually opening up. I have failed to do so for 3-4 yrs n have regretted ever since.
Could this be one of the toughest tests of maturity n open-mindedness tt we as Man with many imperfections fear to face? I do think so for many have failed n those few who managed it r well.. mature.
I think everybody knows the ans to the questions they post to themselves n of course on the forum.. but somehow we need clarification, encouragement n acknowledgement to actually execute our plans. Juz like everyone else.. i am weak in flesh n have come to seek clarification, encouragement n acknowledgement in wat i have in mind to do.
So.. wat do u tink? Should i attempt to embrace my ex into my circle of frens this CNY or just forget abt it all together as everything seems hopeless.
Anyway.. thx to all those who offered their 2cents worth. they r deeply appreciated..
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I understand...cos I am going thru the same way myself. I have decided to sever all ties with him, even the friendship tie. A lot of people are saying that I am either cruel or immature, but they never know just how hard it is for me to make this decision.
I have decided that this is the best way to ensure that both of us will be able to move on in the shortest amount of time, because last time when I was with my ex crush, it took me 2 years to foget him because we remain frens. I mean, I never regret that, we are still very close even until now. But after that bout, I jsut dun feel like I am up to another one now. Hence, my decision to not see him anymore.
It hurts like hell. Especially when I am overwhelmed and need someone to talk to, I wud be reminded of the time we used to spend talking, sharing happiness and problems...even as I write this, my tears are threatening to fall. But I told myself not to regret, to continue to walk on and not turn back.
Because I think this is the best for both of us. Frankly, things have turned so awkward I can't even see us being friends in the near future...
As for you, if you think you are really over her, then of cos you can hang out with her. In fact I saw an article about this the other day, I will post it here soon cos it has something to do with this topic as well.
As for me, my wounds are still very raw so I think it is better that I do not see him anymore...
i.c.y -
Here is the article:
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/men/menu/articles/0,,426378_661495,00.html
i.c.y -
Thx icy for taking the trouble to ven get the url of the site..
THough with limited exp.. i do understand wat u r going thru to a certain extent. The hurt n stuff. Initially i was like u.. decided to cut all ties so as to hopefully remove part of the heartache. The first few weeks i sort of had withdrawal symptoms.. continued to call her.. but eventually went cold turkey. But it didnt help as i mentioned earlier.. we ended up having to see each other almost everyday for 2 long torturous yrs. But now all this r in the past now. Though life is forced to move on.. somehow i can feel something, minute n intangible, tt still lingers n remains in the past. Feelings maybe.. or juz persistent scars tt remained. BUt one thing is for sure.. whether i have any more feelings for her.. my life has definitely moved on. For now.. i'm juz wondering whether it's the right time to attempt to reach out to her after all this yrs.. as a fren. Do i even have the courage n will to actually bring myself to do tt.. i'm not sure.. afterall.. i've failed for several yrs. But i've nv felt this certain so far.. maybe this time i might.
Anyway.. i do know tt u need time, maybe a tremendous amt of it, to get over things. Maybe when u r at eased, composed n have gotten over things.. maybe u could reaccess things. For now.. u could keep urself busy with other activities or immerse urself in ur best frens' warm n concern.u could always seek them out to talk. If u r comfortable.. can pm me la.. tt's if u r alright with it..
Thx icy.. u r a sweet girl.. may things work out for u.. -
You are welcome, hope you find the article useful..
As for me and him, I like to see both of us as being two ships passing in the night now...
I wonder if he still remmeber those magical moments?
i.c.y -
Let memories be memories.. they r things tt define how life.. but do look ahead.. there r many more things waiting for u to experience.. including guys..Originally posted by icyprincess:You are welcome, hope you find the article useful..
As for me and him, I like to see both of us as being two ships passing in the night now...
I wonder if he still remmeber those magical moments?
i.c.y
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yea. right now, even the memories can hurt me.Originally posted by Gackt247:Let memories be memories.. they r things tt define how life.. but do look ahead.. there r many more things waiting for u to experience.. including guys..
i.c.y -
Memories can be happy or hurtful.. but always rem to tell urself not to dwell in them.. look ahead..Originally posted by icyprincess:yea. right now, even the memories can hurt me.
i.c.y
Memories is the history log of our lives.. there r valuable life's lesson to be learnt from our past.. yep.. learn ur pass mistakes or marvel over ur successes n stay positive.. look ahead.. -
Juz rem abt this thread.. updating.. i did do sth abt it on CNY..i did go n contact her.. awkward but rather alright..
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well...I think I can really truthfully say, today, a month after the break-up...
I am finally really over him.
Today I woke up and didn't think about him. I have played a series of sad songs this afternoon and I didn't think of him.
My misery is over. It is now time to look forward
If I can do it, you can do it too!
P/S: I think now I might be able to be frens wif him again since I have gotten over him, but since things are already so awkward, I will just leave it for Fate to decide lor...
i.c.y