Advice needed again...
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Alright, I have another question. The guy I told you all about..he asked me to go and buy him a gift to give his mom on her birthday. He said he would give me $100 to spend on anything that I think would be suitable. I think he wanted me to buy a handbag for her, I told him to go together with me so that he can buy and I can help him to choose, but he refused to. He said he hates shopping and it wouldn't make a difference if I were the one to buy it on his behalf.
I dun feel good doing this. One thing, it is his Mom and he should be getting the present for her. I dunno his mom, I haven't even met her for goodness sake! So I told him just now that I wouldn't get it for him, unless he goes shopping with me. Do you think this is the correct way to deal with this? Or should I just stop making a fuss and just go and help him get it?
i.c.y -
i would say it's his mom and if he doesn't wanna make the effort, why should you?
i think he's just being terrible about it...
my 2 bits anyway.. -
yea lor...then this morning..I told him again, no you should go, show a bit of sincerity la, I mean it is your mom! I will never ask another person to buy a gift for my own mother lor...Originally posted by the Bear:i would say it's his mom and if he doesn't wanna make the effort, why should you?
i think he's just being terrible about it...
my 2 bits anyway..
Then to my disappointment, he said it just doesn't make a difference. Cos he said his mom would never have to know. Really make me 'boil' man.
I wanted to talk more but then he has to go to work and I have to go to sleep cos i Idn sleep the whole night...so going to talk to him again tonite.
i.c.y -
maybe just say you don't wanna do it?
sometimes, you gotta learn to say no to people
with his total lack of sincerity, could there be an underlying reason? like maybe he is not on good terms with his mom or something? if not, he's just behaving like a total and utter bastard isn't he?
and if he can behave like that to his mom, it's best not to hang around him coz, i mean, it's his mom! how worse can he treat other people around him?
go rest.. and do think about this?
be well girlOriginally posted by icyprincess:yea lor...then this morning..I told him again, no you should go, show a bit of sincerity la, I mean it is your mom! I will never ask another person to buy a gift for my own mother lor...
Then to my disappointment, he said it just doesn't make a difference. Cos he said his mom would never have to know. Really make me 'boil' man.
I wanted to talk more but then he has to go to work and I have to go to sleep cos i Idn sleep the whole night...so going to talk to him again tonite.
i.c.y -
I dun think he is on bad terms with his mom. And yea, he is a total jerk. I dunno why I am still considering him as my fren...i think his mom asked him to go with his cousin to buy the gift for her, he prolly doesn't want to trouble his cousin and he knows I can never say no to anyone, so ask me to go....Originally posted by the Bear:maybe just say you don't wanna do it?
sometimes, you gotta learn to say no to people
with his total lack of sincerity, could there be an underlying reason? like maybe he is not on good terms with his mom or something? if not, he's just behaving like a total and utter bastard isn't he?
and if he can behave like that to his mom, it's best not to hang around him coz, i mean, it's his mom! how worse can he treat other people around him?
go rest.. and do think about this?
be well girl
I am at loss for words...
i.c.y -
*deleted...double post*
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effort...effort to surf sgforums during official working hours...whahahahhaOriginally posted by the Bear:i would say it's his mom and if he doesn't wanna make the effort, why should you?
i think he's just being terrible about it...
my 2 bits anyway.. -
croco...give Bear a break la...he is just trying to help me k...Originally posted by sgboy2004:effort...effort to surf sgforums during official working hours...whahahahha
i.c.y -
he can help u lah...Originally posted by icyprincess:croco...give Bear a break la...he is just trying to help me k...
i.c.y
but his effort stamps from surfing sgforums during official working hours mah...
mi petty lah... not like him so "big heart" one... keke -
seriously...... if i'm you..... i'll reject him.... since he's not willing to make an effort..... why should you?? and since it's not becos he's not on good relations with his mum..... then what's the problem?? he's not even willing to make an effort to get his mum something.... u think he will make an effort to keep ur frenship going?? he's just... i feel.... making use of you..... need you... look for you.... dun need you.... sayonara.... but well.... all these is my speculation lah hor?? i'm not him anyway.
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yea i get wat u said. dats y i m having a big talk with him tonite. i m very nervois now. he was online just now, msged me to ask if I am free, then after dat when i din reply (cos I was showering) he went offline oledi. so now trying to get hold of him so I can tell him I am not going to help him get that gift for his mom. or at least he has to be there when i help him to choose.Originally posted by Estee:seriously...... if i'm you..... i'll reject him.... since he's not willing to make an effort..... why should you?? and since it's not becos he's not on good relations with his mum..... then what's the problem?? he's not even willing to make an effort to get his mum something.... u think he will make an effort to keep ur frenship going?? he's just... i feel.... making use of you..... need you... look for you.... dun need you.... sayonara.... but well.... all these is my speculation lah hor?? i'm not him anyway.
i.c.y -
Yes, i think you did it rightOriginally posted by icyprincess:Do you think this is the correct way to deal with this?
i.c.y
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thanks for the inputOriginally posted by SnowFlag:Yes, i think you did it right 
i.c.y -
u r welcome
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Don't bother yourself doing something for someone who doesn't even want to sink some effort into buying a present for his own kin. If he doesn't even want to trouble himself or his cousin, why should you, of all people, trouble yourself?
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yea..wat u said is true..i shud keep this in mind and tell him later. plus will give him a lesson about being sincere when wan to get gift for ppl...Originally posted by delonchew:Don't bother yourself doing something for someone who doesn't even want to sink some effort into buying a present for his own kin. If he doesn't even want to trouble himself or his cousin, why should you, of all people, trouble yourself?
i.c.y -
okie. I already talked to him cos he called me just now. At first he acted desperate la, asked me to get it for him, even went to the extent of begging me to get it for him. I said no, he would have to come with me. He said he doesn't want to because he is lazy and hates shopping. I said will only take like at most 2 hours. He said it is still a big waste of time. I told him fine, since he doesnt want to compromise with me, then I wouldn't go. he said he would try to get his cousin to help him, I said fine, suit yourself. Then 5 minutes later he called again, and this time really all-out begging, I just kept telling myself I would have to be firm and stand by my decision. So in the end he said he would consider coming with me. I said fine, it is all up to him cos i will still go whether he is coming or not. then later he emailed me, said no need already cos his fren is helping him. he said he is so relieved he doesn't have to go shopping. I told him not even with me? He said shopping is just out of question for him. I said he is too unfeeling. Not sincere at all. He said I am making things difficult for him, I told him he is the one putting me in a tight spot. He said I too sensitive, I said he is too insensitive. I told him next time when he has a gf, he should put in more effort otherwise no girl would ever be with him. He said he will find someone who would understand him one day. I told him if what he wants is just someone who listens to what he says all the time, he should get himself a dumb girl. and I am not.
Everything sounds so ugly now.
i.c.y -
get someone that just listens to him?? that's so boring isn't it?? oh well.Originally posted by icyprincess:okie. I already talked to him cos he called me just now. At first he acted desperate la, asked me to get it for him, even went to the extent of begging me to get it for him. I said no, he would have to come with me. He said he doesn't want to because he is lazy and hates shopping. I said will only take like at most 2 hours. He said it is still a big waste of time. I told him fine, since he doesnt want to compromise with me, then I wouldn't go. he said he would try to get his cousin to help him, I said fine, suit yourself. Then 5 minutes later he called again, and this time really all-out begging, I just kept telling myself I would have to be firm and stand by my decision. So in the end he said he would consider coming with me. I said fine, it is all up to him cos i will still go whether he is coming or not. then later he emailed me, said no need already cos his fren is helping him. he said he is so relieved he doesn't have to go shopping. I told him not even with me? He said shopping is just out of question for him. I said he is too unfeeling. Not sincere at all. He said I am making things difficult for him, I told him he is the one putting me in a tight spot. He said I too sensitive, I said he is too insensitive. I told him next time when he has a gf, he should put in more effort otherwise no girl would ever be with him. He said he will find someone who would understand him one day. I told him if what he wants is just someone who listens to what he says all the time, he should get himself a dumb girl. and I am not.
Everything sounds so ugly now.
i.c.y -
He's displaying a bit oF MCP attitude, that's what I feel.
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sounds like a friend i used to have. wow.
he used to make me help him do stuff 'cos he always ban4 ke3 lian2 and since i treated as a friend i helped him out sometimes.
no longer a friend - found out he was a jerk sleeping around with girls and making use of them.
unless ur friend has got some sort of traumatic experience before during shopping, i really do not understand what is so horrible about stepping into a shopping centre, picking a bag, paying and walking out. i can do that in less than 5 mins. -
well if dats wat he wans, i can't say anything...but it will surely not be me.Originally posted by Estee:get someone that just listens to him?? that's so boring isn't it?? oh well.
i.c.y -
Don't get him as a bf cos he won't shop with u!
He sees shopping as a waste of time.
Tell him the advantages of shpg together- it is a good way to build a bond, u get to learn each other likes & dislikes etc -
i asked him if he got any traumatic experience. he said no. he just said it is a waste of time and he doesn't like doing it. And he just wans someone to do it for him. I told him it is time for him to go and get himself a maid.Originally posted by juz_A_gal:sounds like a friend i used to have. wow.
he used to make me help him do stuff 'cos he always ban4 ke3 lian2 and since i treated as a friend i helped him out sometimes.
no longer a friend - found out he was a jerk sleeping around with girls and making use of them.
unless ur friend has got some sort of traumatic experience before during shopping, i really do not understand what is so horrible about stepping into a shopping centre, picking a bag, paying and walking out. i can do that in less than 5 mins.
i.c.y -
i told him dat, he doesn't want to hear.Originally posted by gerrykoh:Don't get him as a bf cos he won't shop with u!
He sees shopping as a waste of time.
Tell him the advantages of shpg together- it is a good way to build a bond, u get to learn each other likes & dislikes etc
i will not see him as a fren now,let alone boyfren.
i.c.y -
jiang shan yi gai.... ben xing nan yi..... it's really hard to change someone's thinking sometimes... especially a stubborn one.Originally posted by gerrykoh:Don't get him as a bf cos he won't shop with u!
He sees shopping as a waste of time.
Tell him the advantages of shpg together- it is a good way to build a bond, u get to learn each other likes & dislikes etc