Poetry exercise :)
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Ah...feeling of having my work graded brings me back to school days ..
Originally posted by DeadPoet:
Very dark poem. Can see that the poet has selected the words very carefully. For example, 'depthless inky skies', 'Charcoal gollywog face', 'bitter and ruthless', etc.
These words help to create a very dark atmosphere.
Well written, rich in imageries, good use of metaphor, personification, etc.
Good ending,
[b]Sweet refuge found, as night
Embraces me .... we take flight.
[/b] -
Originally posted by DeadPoet:Hmm Â…am I happy now? I really donÂ’t know. I am 32 years old, employed and married (no kids), doing part-time degree, no major illness, etc. so am I happy?
All I can say is there is always room for improvement.
Actually I have no idea since when I got hooked in poetry. Most likely during secondary school. But it was only during my Pre-U days that I started to take/write poems seriously. (I got third prize in a poetry competition during primary school, but I canÂ’t remember what IÂ’ve wrote, something about being courtesy I think)
It is okay to dislike what youÂ’ve wrote. That is where you can improve on your poems. Take cooking for example; I usually ended up disliking what IÂ’ve cooked. (Although my friends and family members disagree) Just like writing poems, I enjoy exploring different ways to improve my cooking skills. Poetry to me is the food for the soul. [/quote]
DeadPoet, many people would be very happy to be in your position. I would.
[quote]Originally posted by DeadPoet:
I am not that concerned with the technical details of poem writing. As long as you are able to express yourself clearly, get your message across to your readers, you are a good poet. On the other hand, feel free to explore the technical aspects of poetry, read on meter, metaphors, sonnets, etc. Explore new ways, get your creative juice flowing.
That is why I usually donÂ’t give negative comments on the poems posted here. If I think it is really bad, I usually pm the poet with some suggestions or I might suggest some slight amendments in the thread, etc
Never criticize a poem openly. Words are like fire, it brings light, but it burns too. A completed poem is like a baby to the poet, it is a product of efforts and love. It is a mirror of your inner soul.
There are indeed many talents in this forum, hey; you are one of them too. Just keep on writing, find your own style. Have fun.
I hope to have a few poem posted here soon. Shall I say – you have just given me the motivation . -
Originally posted by DeadPoet:
no inspirations so far need thinking
Hello MoonIce, long time no see.
Nice poem you've written. The first sentence already caught my attention.
[b]'Purple lavender so sweet of you'
Purple ... one of my favourite colour.
Just a suggestion. If you used 'thou' in the poem, try to make it constant throughout the whole poem.
Also if you used 'thou' i.e. for 'your', you should also used 'thee' for 'you'. [/b]
good ideas!
*ned to refresh my mind of thee again -
yo man. yeah. i guess we do. but trust me, it ain't that effortless. got MSN or other contacts? cheerio to u too.Originally posted by I_am_PeTe_Parker:You had problems too huh? And I like things Star Wars too!
I notice you have on a McLaren Mercedes racing overall in your avatar. So I presumed you follow the F1 championship? I am a great fan of the F1 and a car enthusiast myself.
So we do have a lot in common. Cheers and may the next chequered flag be yours.
And you write poems too - again another thing in common. I am trying hard actually. But I see it is quite effortless to you. -
shudder. i'd rather not remember them too much.Originally posted by choco B:Ah...feeling of having my work graded brings me back to school days .. -
removed coz some sleazos are being sleazy...
they should be shot.. -
stands back & watches 1/2 of Bar flood tare's mailbox with salacious PMsOriginally posted by the Bear:this is for tare (she's gonna kill me but what the heck?
)
Pretty tare
Oh what a girl!
Enticing beauty
That describes her
Innately comely
Charming and dear
Veritably intoxicating
Ever alluring
Remarkably stunning
Sensually overwhelming
ExtraordinarilyÂ… tare!
btw: these 2 actresses look like tare, only.. tare's lots prettier
~images removed~
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Originally posted by the Bear:this is for tare (she's gonna kill me but what the heck? )
Pretty tare
Oh what a girl!
Enticing beauty
That describes her
Innately comely
Charming and dear
Veritably intoxicating
Ever alluring
Remarkably stunning
Sensually overwhelming
Extraordinarily… tare!
btw: these 2 actresses look like tare, only.. tare's lots prettier
~images removed again~ Bear got interest in tare arh ?? -
4 eyes in the 1st picture!!!!Originally posted by the Bear:this is for tare (she's gonna kill me but what the heck? )
Pretty tare
Oh what a girl!
Enticing beauty
That describes her
Innately comely
Charming and dear
Veritably intoxicating
Ever alluring
Remarkably stunning
Sensually overwhelming
ExtraordinarilyÂ… tare!
btw: these 2 actresses look like tare, only.. tare's lots prettier
~images removed yet again~ -
Mr tare would kill meOriginally posted by BeEtHoVeN: Bear got interest in tare arh ??
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Doubtlessly.Originally posted by the Bear:Mr tare would kill me -
not juz kill but prolly hung, drawn & quartered - panda style!Originally posted by the Bear:Mr tare would kill me -
heck! if i were mr tare, i'd kill me
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hmmm tat means tare is indeed very beautiful for u to risk death ...Originally posted by the Bear:heck! if i were mr tare, i'd kill me
did u watch Hse of flying daggars ?? -
tare gonna kill u if ever see u on the road for sure
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she is pretty
and i'm not chasing and she's my friend
daggers? nah.. couple of friends said it was a waste of money... The Village seems a good bet tho'Originally posted by BeEtHoVeN:hmmm tat means tare is indeed very beautiful for u to risk death ...
did u watch Hse of flying daggars ?? -
just like the rumors tat my mailbox will be flooded... i'm not beautiful enuff to make ppl die lah...Originally posted by BeEtHoVeN:hmmm tat means tare is indeed very beautiful for u to risk death ...
did u watch Hse of flying daggars ?? -
i wanna hire assasinators..... got lobang?!Originally posted by MoonIce:tare gonna kill u if ever see u on the road for sure -
ppl see face u see..........Originally posted by nOrmalbOi:4 eyes in the 1st picture!!!!
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but then tare, the pic very obvious lor....Originally posted by tare:ppl see face u see.......... 
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okie i go blame bear...................... BEAR WHERE ARE U??!!!Originally posted by coolger03:but then tare, the pic very obvious lor.... -
here
how's my poetry... the muse got me and i had to write.. and sometimes, things write themselvesOriginally posted by tare:okie i go blame bear...................... BEAR WHERE ARE U??!!! -
so inspirational hor u? and tat pic hor................Originally posted by the Bear:here
how's my poetry... the muse got me and i had to write.. and sometimes, things write themselves
i wanna eat braise bear paw liao!!! -
well, like pandas, bears are also protected under CITES so cannotOriginally posted by tare:so inspirational hor u? and tat pic hor................
i wanna eat braise bear paw liao!!!