Poetry exercise :)
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Here it goes..
Prancing around in my head
Old but yet not dead
Everything you say and do
Takes me up to those clouds
Illusions are your forte
Close to me you will always be
Verily I yearn to see your face
Even if I must be a moth
Rendering the care unto you
Sad to say i cannot speak
Else I would say, "I still love you" -
fwah... i am in awe...
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I am so proud to be a moderator of DPS.
You guys are fantastic! Look at KittynMeow, look at ratinacage, LazerLordz, etc...
Who said there are no poets in Singapore!
If only I have the capital to publish a collection of poems in DPS. That will be my next goal in life.
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hehe i just noticed this is the first time i wrote a poem that doesn't end in rhyme... hahahaha
i like Ratty's version... sounds rather diabolical... kekekek
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Promises broken
Only emptiness remains
Everything has no meaning
Time stands still
Innocence betrayed
Cold is the hollow heart
Vengence beckons
Emotional turmoil
Recourse found
Suicide is your only ally
End......... -
Originally posted by Asfi_Kay:
Your writing style is quite similar to LazerLordzÂ’s.
Hmm.. Let me try this..
[b]Pandemonium
Of collosal proportions
Erupt in the confines of
This anguished heart
Into the furnace
Coldly it burns
Verily he was smitten
Entralled by this beauty, but
Rejection was his gift
Set upon him by Fate
Ever the Bestower of Woe
Give me critique!! Please?[/b]
Profound and full of imageries. -
x2. Same here. I like the way it flows like a river.Originally posted by KittynMeow:hehe i just noticed this is the first time i wrote a poem that doesn't end in rhyme... hahahaha
i like Ratty's version... sounds rather diabolical... kekekek -
wat was edited in mine?
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People, they come and they goÂ…
Out the door to the streets below
Every single one of them not stopping to smileÂ…
To at least bring me a little cheer for a while
I am alone againÂ…
Confused and in pain
Vicious this torment
Every journey in my life is but a long treacherous road with unforgiving bends
Right up here from my bedroom windowÂ…
Strangle by the anguish I do not want to face another tomorrowÂ…
End it all now I must and rid myself of all these sorrow. -
Originally posted by I_am_PeTe_Parker:
Hope it is not talking about you.
[b]People, they come and they goÂ…
Out the door to the streets below
Every single one of them not stopping to smileÂ…
To at least bring me a little cheer for a while
I am alone againÂ…
Confused and in pain
Vicious this torment
Every journey in my life is but a long treacherous road with unforgiving bends
Right up here from my bedroom windowÂ…
Strangle by the anguish I do not want to face another tomorrowÂ…
End it all now I must and rid myself of all these sorrow.
[/b]
Very touching poem. Truly reflect the coldness in today's society.
Something most of us here can relate to.
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Please somebody, just kill me.
Oh what is this?
Emptiness.... this hole in me,
This dreadful blank,
Its sucking my life from within.
Can't run from it, can't hide from it.
Vortex, malevolent force.
Energies destructive,
Ripping me apart.
Sundering me, from within,
Eternally dying, but never fully dead. -
Positive in thinking,
Observant in details,
Everything seems simple,
To him ever so wise,
In awe of his knowledge,
Continuously surprised.
Vehemently stubborn,
Externally normal,
Reach beyond the surface,
Sensitive to the core
Ever so faithfully mine.
and i anyhow write! -
Originally posted by tare:
wah.... something your lao gong did to inspire you ah?? mebbe its the shopping?? kekekeke
[b]Positive in thinking,
Observant in details,
Everything seems simple,
To him ever so wise,
In awe of his knowledge,
Continuously surprised.
Vehemently stubborn,
Externally normal,
Reach beyond the surface,
Sensitive to the core
Ever so faithfully mine.
and i anyhow write! [/b] -
hahhaa.. no lah.... been wanting to write something abt him lor.... i actually got something in chinese. saw this thread so try lor....Originally posted by KittynMeow:wah.... something your lao gong did to inspire you ah?? mebbe its the shopping?? kekekeke
then again maybe he should bring me shopping more, i'm sure it'll help with my flow of inspirations!!! -
hey, DP.. any more?
maybe if any of the nine muses come visit, i'll try this again -
/me touched beyond words....Originally posted by True_Xerion:ok i know this isn't very good, kinda did it on the spot .... dun laff too hard ok?
====================================================
Perhaps we aren't as strange as it seems
Only that time & places made them so.
Enjoying life we did as unknowns
Thinking that life as it was;
Infinte,
Complete.
Verily too soon did reality set in
Erasing all happiness, comfort & warmth.
Ruinous roads, overcast skies. Despair it seems, ruled the day.
Strangeness again; storm clouds yield, clearing the past
Encouraging new life - blossoms everlasting!
====================================================
*inspired by *ahem* -
DP... idea... let's do a competition using this method... kekeke
Suggested prize?? hmmm ... NYDC Voucher??? kekeke -
another attempt... kekeke
Hate
Patiently as I wait
Overwhelming anxiety chokes, my confidence shakes
Evoking memories sad and depressed
Tormented by the emotional mess
I cried for release
Crying for peace
Vainly as I wait
Expecting the worst, resigned to fate
Rejecting comfort and refusing relief
Snatching at illusions and lies to believe
Enshrouded in denial, my hate begins to live. -
Peel away the rough and hardened hide
Old and cynical, tired of the joy ride
Empty thoughts that fill a glossy head
Twinkling sequins, eventually they fade
Into the depthless inky skies
Charcoal gollywog face with bright eyes
Vice and venom to his simple goodness
Easy touch calms the nervous sprite
Raging days, bitter and ruthless
Sweet refuge found, as night
Embraces me.... we take flight. -
Originally posted by choco B:Peel away the rough and hardened hide
Old and cynical, tired of the joy ride
Empty thoughts that fill a glossy head
Twinkling sequins, eventually they fade
Into the depthless inky skies
Charcoal gollywog face with bright eyes
Vice and venom to his simple goodness
Easy touch calms the nervous sprite
Raging days, bitter and ruthless
Sweet refuge found, as night
Embraces me.... we take flight.
so sweet.... lomantic lomantic... kekeke -
Sweet? ~__~ then I must've written it wrong. Back to the drawing board...
Glad you liked it
Originally posted by KittynMeow: so sweet.... lomantic lomantic... kekeke -
Patrolling always suck
Often finish late
Endlessly in the dark
To lock the gate
In times i get fucked
Constantly in my head
Very Happy
Everything went well
Rest and have a nappy
Saturday chiong in hell
Endure? -
goodness...
offer that to your loved one, he'll break down in tears!Originally posted by choco B:Sweet? ~__~ then I must've written it wrong. Back to the drawing board...
Glad you liked it -
Hi DeadPoet, I had quite a difficult early teenage actually. Had problem dealing with schoolwork. Was close to a nervous breakdown at one point. Woke up one morning and had chest pain and refused to go to school from that day onwards. Doctors could not find anything wrong. It was frightening. I just could not breathe properly but the doctors keep saying there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. It was agonizing – I missed so many days of schooling, I could not sleep well, could not eat well and I simply just did not want to go on and contemplated taking my own life (kind of like what I wrote in the poem). No one seems to be able to help and bring some relief. My family was always there but I felt they were suffering as well and it made things worst.Originally posted by DeadPoet:Hope it is not talking about you.
Very touching poem. Truly reflect the coldness in today's society.
Something most of us here can relate to.
It was one long emotional struggle, but luckily, I eventually got out from that spiral of misery. Nevertheless till this day I still fear ‘not being able to breathe’ and that is why I chose ‘Strangle’ for the S in VERSE. I fear strangulation and suffocation more than death itself.
Anyway, that was in the past. I have another POETIC VERSE. I would like to dedicate this to all the forumite here especially to you the DeadPoet himself.
‘The flower’ in you
Pretty flower blooms
Open your rainbow kissed blossom and banish the gloom
Ever so beautiful, ever so gentle
Touching heartsÂ…lovely coloured petals
Inviting joy to fill the emptiness
Cleansing sadness turning them into happiness
Violet or blue
Emerald, yellow and golden too
Rays of sunlight falls on little droplets of dew
Sparkling like diamonds rare and few
Everlasting your words… ‘the flower’ in you
To me, poets have little flower in them. Something like inspiration. And when that little flower/inspiration blossom it brings much joy to everyone reading the poems/words they write. Everlasting your words(poems)…(thank you for) ‘the flower’(inspiration) in you. -
Some typo error, just a tiny amendment.Originally posted by skeujin:wat was edited in mine?
Glad to see your poems here.