"The saddest thing is not that I am missing you now.... But that I might be missing you in the future...."
"Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming so hard, but nothing just seems to be coming out of my mouth..."
"Just go away. You have raped me of everything. I do not wish to talk to you. I am just glad that I am still alive."
Sometimes, you just don't deserved to get forgiven... Just let it go, and fall deeper.... Into the darkness.... Let madness drive you... Let there be light....
Darn the weather is shit these days. My mad rants:
The problem with loneliness.
They say if you can’t fix it, you’ve got to stand it. She bolstered the sheets and hung on tight in the shifting heat. Uncomfortable. Somehow inescapable
She couldn’t remember where it actually
began, but it was ending here. It was definitely the end of something but she wasn’t sure just what. She lit a cigarette and
thought about people, and what they were doing tonight.
3 thousand miles through desert mountainscape, tamped earth towers one horizon. The elements… he’s returning 30 pounds scrawnier, the back of his body unusually arched, his waif like mane withered by change.
Burrowed lines may run along that small, weathered frame but beyond a doubt, she remembers the sparkle in his black beady eyes.
On his account of why people talk too much and do too little in life, she revels in the solitude of that swift figure’s ascend 2 years back. The sun is real. He had the walls built.
I was wrong. Like a mere toy tossed into the toddler's cot, left to die in the unappreciating arms of a little child.
But even a fool can see the light.. I realise you were damaging all that was good in me. I'm not letting you get away with that. No more.
HARD. PAIN. EVERYTHING SHOULD JUST GO AWAY. NO TIME. FASTFOWARD. NO TIME. BACKWARDS. TO LEAVE WHILE I'M STILL SANE. BREAK UP EVERYTHING. UNTIL TIME ARRIVES. SAY YOUR DESTINY IS NOT WITHIN YOUR HANDS. YOUR FINAL TIME HAS COME. AND SOON IT SHALL BE GONE.
I do not pretend to understand why it’s right to not always follow our hearts. - sandstone
"Everytime I think of it, it's like a piece of me is gone with you........"
"Your best dream has become my worst nightmare."
02:45am
“Pull over. I’ll find you soon.”
There were no road signs ahead of the viaduct so I pulled over along the road shoulder. Leaning against intermittent traffic, I lit a cigarette, blinking vessels in the distant surrounded the city in slumber. It was a rare place for a lock in but there was the quiet pounding of a quaint old tune. The place was somewhere I’d always imagined it to be.
He paused for a moment beside me before taking off again. Somewhere in the city, there was the dull roar of engine floating back and forth the air. We circled the west coast before we leapt, fine arrogance at 140km across the high way. We ran the bends that night, roistered sounds sending echoes up the empty streets.
As he led me back on the ECP in the pre dawn hour, time ran from lane to lane, from coast to coast. I accelerated and didn’t let go. It was the only way I have come to know.
You did not say, I didn't ask.
Those words, they would not come.
For the realities I have failed to fix, I brace myself for a life without you.
So thin the thread.
So empty the lie.
So obvious the hate.
Here we go again.
I don't think I can prevent it.
We'll go with the flow, and see how things turn out.
Singing only to the fading moonlight,
which has heard many a tale of sorrow.
A light so divine and pretty,
but it failed to pacify this weeping boy.
"It's ok. Just watch my blood drips till there's nothing left of me....."
A pile of shit and a pool of piss. So what went wrong?
It is over. I have no choice.
It is one of the most painful experience.
I feel nothing much of it.
Can you please pass me the knife so I can stab this fool in his fucking stomach and make him bleed his guts out.
I'm so tired I wish to just tear myself apart sometimes...
And hopefully what's left behind would be a 'happier' me....?
They said the peeling effect is always painful... But sometimes it's just necessary for a new life to come....?
When you start to hate the world, you'll know what I feel.
EVERYBODY are SELFISH FUCKERS.
I'm sick. So very sick.
Can you make me feel any better?
"Really wanted to give up everything for you... But you chose to keep your side of the world.... I'm not asking you to give it up... I can understand too... How hard it is to just give up a world like that... Yet after all that I've done and tried, you chose to hurt me... It's painful and degrading... Deteriorating to us.... Each and everytime I've tried so hard... You just made me stone down there. Not knowing what to say. Feeling sick. Not knowing how to react. I love you. But I'm not a guinea pig. Pls treasure us."
I don't know if a confession would make you understand now, if it did not, 3 years ago. Every time a new crush came and went, my heart returned to you.
I hope this turns out well, I cannot see you as a friend anymore if this fails. It's a do or die situation now.
You are the only one who makes me feel that everything is still worth the effort. Please don't be the one who takes that away as well.