I just don't know.
The clock strikes thirteen
As I lie on the bed
Dreams undifferentiated from reality.
What was once real
Now became ashes
Burnt up in the incineration of time.
I didn't sleep, but cried.
The clock strikes fourteen
As I lie on the bed
My tears like the stream.
Her promises
Like ghostly echoes
Crept slowly into my dreams.
Reality never felt so unreal.
The clock strikes fifteen
As I lie on the bed
The torment never ending.
The heartless wind kept blowing
Blew away not my sorrows
But my sanity.
The world that once was, will never be.
The clock strikes twelve
As I woke up
Wondering, did I sleep?
Reality never felt like this
It wasn't what it used to be
This reality is what it shouldn't be.
And I closed my eyes, ready into the land of dreams.
In grey.
As I set upon the empty tiles,
I remembered your gracious style,
Your dancing grace.
Now, only encapsulated in grey.
I see your steps,
freely gliding,
across the floor.
Now, only encapsulated in grey.
It was so long ago,
Everything has changed,
Yet why hasn't my memories faded,
But only encapsulated in grey?
I regret,
For the million things I could have done, but didn't.
But now, it's all too late.
Every thing's encapsulated in grey.
And everything remains grey...
The glass of wine.
First glass
I downed it with ease
My sorrows withstanding
Ah, the intoxicating.
Second glass
I stumbled a bit
But it was worth it.
I wanted to be numb.
Third glass
I downed it again
Yet still feeling my pain.
Why isn't it strong enough?
Fourth glass
I never wavered
Still I was awake.
Why can't I just drop dead?
Fifth glass
I hesitated
And took the bottle instead.
Now, please let me drown myself dead.
But no. I'm still awake.
I just don't know - June 5th.
In grey - May 14th.
The glass of wine - Now.
Oh.. I see, I see.
Well... words are my escapade. They're my form of drug. I don't intoxicate myself with alcohol or drugs. I do it with words, and poems.
I'm just expressing myself. I don't think I'm good yet.
Maybe.
I'm not too much in the mood to think of the future now. Or the past, for that matter. Each time I glimpse, I see nothing.
No strength to move on.
Hope you feel better soon! These are strong, interesting pieces showing very raw emotions. I enjoyed them, thank you.
The metal of cold
Memories consume
As I lay confused
I knew this was long overdue.
I tried picking myself up again
To simply end the pain.
Yet it just wouldn't fade away.
So I took out the blade
Felt its welcoming edge
I pictured myself in the rain.
The moment the cold metal touched my flesh
I felt the rain
Washing my pain away.
Blood across my flesh
The rain has stopped
Now I lay, like a drenched waste.
The red
Embraced me with a wave
And then, I start at it again.
I walk wearily on the road,
Of distant memories,
Of the inevitable change.
You swept me off my feet,
With your magic whispers,
And brough me back on,
With your gentle hand.
The wind of change blows,
As I stand alone in the dark night,
Not knowing where to go.
Now I walk down the lane,
Thinking of what I've let go,
Hoping to find strength to love again. (Thinking about the nights we had)
You were the all that I had, (All the warmth that I had)
You were the dreams of my life. (The soul of my soul)
As the wind of change blows,
My tears flowed.
All the love that I couldn't let go.
Now I walk down the lane,
Thinking of what I've let go,
Hoping to find strength to love again. (Thinking about the future we had)
You were the all that I had, (All the colours that I had)
You were the dreams of my life. (The painter of my world)
And so as the rain falls,
I stay alone,
Drenched and no where to go.
You once told me,
I would love you forever.
But now you say,
The love is no more.
So as the wind of change blows,
My sorrows unfold,
I sink below.
Now I walk down the lane,
Thinking of what I've let go,
Hoping to find strength to love again. (Thinking about the love we had)
You were the all that I had, (All the joy that I had)
You were the dreams of my life. (The princess of my love)
And as the wind of change blows,
I stand in the world sorrowed.
And as the wind of change blows,
I stand in the world, sorrowed.
And as the wind of change blows...
The Song of Longing
Our once-common song choirs,
This time of lamenting melody.
I stand on the rocks,
High above the rest of humanity,
Searching for your fading presence.
The melody sings my longing,
The pasture cries my agony.
The song of longing,
Still going,
I wandered among the empty.
Oh God, please bring her to me,
For she is the one that completes me.
Your love now like a fable,
Yet no matter how feeble,
I never wavered.
My illusions still standing,
The storm still blowing.
I lost myself in the wind,
As it carried me away,
Bringing not peace but still agony.
Still I write my songs,
Still hoping you would again be next to me.
Still I want thee.
And still I want thee...
------------------------------------------------------------
The Chorus of the Night
Do you hear
The chorus of the night
So resounding!
I sing while sorrowing
Can you save me from reality
Or will you be like the rest of the entirety?
Once again
I stand in the dark
Feeling worse than what I really am.
Just one more time
I wish to relive the memories
Please stop my bleeding!
The same night
The same chorus
But why is it unlike the memory?
------------------------------------------------------------
Old tree
By the old tree
The promises of thee
Echoing through the very depths of me.
We used to dance
In this golden dust
Day to dusk.
Now the chorus of the night sings
And the song of longing
And my own melancholy melody.
The leaves rustled along with the wind
Whispering to me the truth so wintered
Now I stand, withered.
I sat on the branches of old
Feeling the wind so cold
Wondering, where did you my warmth go.
Lonely
Miserably
I stand among the empty.
Like the old tree.
