Which version do you like? Why?
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Please read the following poems.
Dust of Snow by Robert Frost (1874-1963)
Version 1
The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree
Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.
Version 2
The way that a crow
shook down right on me
some snow, sort of like dust,
from a high hemlock bough
has given my heart
a different feeling about things,
and partly saved
a day I felt had been wasted.
Version 3
How dear the ways of Natue! Lo, you crow
Precipitated earthward, even on me,
A pulverous silver essence, dust of snow,
White benefactions of a hemlock tree;
Bequeathing (legacy unto my heart!)
Transfigurations of an erstwhile mood,
Redeeming a jeweled modicum, wee part
Of one diurnal unit I had rued.
Taken from Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry
Which version do you like? Why?
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I prefer version 2.
Version 1 a bit too rigid.
Version 3 only suitable for literature lesson
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I prefer version 1. The structure fits the reading, with all the pauses in the right places.
Version 2 looks a bit of a mess, and when you read it, it seems to run off by itself.
Version 3 looks suitable if you are in the 18th century.
Version 1 and 3 are ok, version 2 is the one that is weak imho. -
v1 sounds like a tang era poem
neat and simple
v2 a bit choppy, but sounds ok
v3 is yayapapaya playing with big words -
i prefer version 1... erm... simple and i like the way the linebreaks...
plus it's short and simple.. i too lazy to read too long or cheem (must find dictionary u noe) -
That is a very interesting perspective.Originally posted by FireIce:v1 sounds like a tang era poem
neat and simple -
But don't you find version 2 too wordy?Originally posted by InnoHippo:I prefer version 2.
Version 1 a bit too rigid.
Version 3 only suitable for literature lesson 
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The problem with version 2 is that many of its words are unnecessary. It kind or reminds me of prose with linbreaks.Originally posted by Bluesky_Liz:I prefer version 1. The structure fits the reading, with all the pauses in the right places.
Version 2 looks a bit of a mess, and when you read it, it seems to run off by itself.
Version 3 looks suitable if you are in the 18th century.
Version 1 and 3 are ok, version 2 is the one that is weak imho. -
Another important thing. Read version 1 and version 2 aloud. Listen to yourself. What is the different between the tone of version 1 and version 2? If you notice, they are very different. And becasue of this, their voices are different too.Originally posted by tare:i prefer version 1... erm... simple and i like the way the linebreaks...
plus it's short and simple.. i too lazy to read too long or cheem (must find dictionary u noe)
By the way I can't stand version 3. -
if i'm "shakespearean" era one, maybe i canOriginally posted by DeadPoet:Another important thing. Read version 1 and version 2 aloud. Listen to yourself. What is the different between the tone of version 1 and version 2? If you notice, they are very different. And becasue of this, their voices are different too.
By the way I can't stand version 3. 
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i am usually loss at wordsOriginally posted by DeadPoet:But don't you find version 2 too wordy? -
ver 1 is my choice.
ver 2 i dont like the way it is.("A change of mood" is way better than "a different feeling about things")
Ver 3 is like shakespear stuff. -
Hello, version 1 and 2 not from "shakespearean" era what.Originally posted by tare:if i'm "shakespearean" era one, maybe i can -
Are you sure?Originally posted by InnoHippo:i am usually loss at words -
Shakespeare writes a lot better than this.Originally posted by mochou:ver 1 is my choice.
ver 2 i dont like the way it is.("A change of mood" is way better than "a different feeling about things")
Ver 3 is like shakespear stuff. -
i mean version 3 lah.... duuuhhhOriginally posted by DeadPoet:Hello, version 1 and 2 not from "shakespearean" era what. -
My mistake.Originally posted by tare:i mean version 3 lah.... duuuhhh
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Version 1 quite simple and nice
simply put is good for an easy reading and to enjoy.
Version 2 too wordy le, too many line breaks.
ppl how can stop walking along a trafiic when it gonna turn red man soon
even Version 3 better
Version 3 lolx I quite like the words being used, lolx can understand also.
K ar this version is for advanced usage. Shakepearse Era hmm...
shakepearse more simpler le.
more like hmm... someone else the era lolx.
anyhow sound wat someone from lit class would use to stun the teachers most likely.
So version 1 n 3, hmm... cannot choose le... -
version 1: simple and rythme
version 2: abit long winded
version 3: what are you try to say? -
Originally posted by MoonIce:
You better than me, I don't understand version 3.
[b]Version 1 quite simple and nice
simply put is good for an easy reading and to enjoy.
Version 2 too wordy le, too many line breaks.
ppl how can stop walking along a trafiic when it gonna turn red man soon
even Version 3 better
Version 3 lolx I quite like the words being used, lolx can understand also.
K ar this version is for advanced usage. Shakepearse Era hmm...
shakepearse more simpler le.
more like hmm... someone else the era lolx.
anyhow sound wat someone from lit class would use to stun the teachers most likely.
So version 1 n 3, hmm... cannot choose le... [/b] -
Straight to the point.Originally posted by LinYu:version 1: simple and rythme
version 2: abit long winded
version 3: what are you try to say? 
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So the conclusion of this exercise is we must try to write like version 1. By the way version 1 is also the original version.
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ssooooo.............. who wrote version 2 and 3??!!Originally posted by DeadPoet:So the conclusion of this exercise is we must try to write like version 1. By the way version 1 is also the original version. -
Don't know, most likely John Frederick Nims or David Mason. But confirm not me.Originally posted by tare:ssooooo.............. who wrote version 2 and 3??!! -
i prefer Version 2.