[Poem] - Flawless
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The burning sun stands smugly, hiding behind levels of cloud.
Always hiding its full splendour, only parts of it can be seen.
The extraordinary feeling it oozes, it also heals.
Like how you fufill my senses, with your brilliant smile.
It comes and goes, giving way to the night, as if to take a rest.
Once it awakens, it fills the darkness with illuminance.
The unique sights it brings to the eyes, it also soothes.
Like how you caught my eye, with your flawless beauty.
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another romantic gesture by me.
and i tried not to rhyme it this time.
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Hallo!!! I always love romantic poems, so this is nice to me. People in love tend to see perfection in everything they see and this poem conveys this feeling. However, the first 2 lines seems like a contradiction if you dont mind me saying so, the word 'smug' somehow jars with 'hiding'.Originally posted by Keii:The burning sun stands smugly, hiding behind levels of cloud.
Always hiding its full splendour, only parts of it can be seen.
The extraordinary feeling it oozes, it also heals.
Like how you fufill my senses, with your brilliant smile.
It comes and goes, giving way to the night, as if to take a rest.
Once it awakens, it fills the darkness with illuminance.
The unique sights it brings to the eyes, it also soothes.
Like how you caught my eye, with your flawless beauty.
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another romantic gesture by me.
and i tried not to rhyme it this time. -
My dear Keii. You are such a romantic guy.Originally posted by Keii:another romantic gesture by me.
and i tried not to rhyme it this time.
Try to read on images and linbreaks. You are a very creative person and I believe you can do better than this.
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i'll try better next time.
the first line was supposed to be somfin else... can't remember. but i'll try again soon. -
grammar errors at second last line..and the last stanza doesnt sound nice..
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i'm no professional poet.Originally posted by Master -_-:grammar errors at second last line..and the last stanza doesnt sound nice..
but. note taken.