Blah, blah, hmm? sigh...(some ramblings)
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I had a vision of love as perfect as diamonds and pearls and crimson rosebuds with lips shying to bloom.
ItsÂ’ other face -poison and cataclysm.
I wish to fall in love with the shy stranger on the train going nowhere.
To feel the clichéd trails of emotions that everyone professes to have felt but could find no adequate words to express how and from where it came
To experience the magic that comes out of communication that needed no words but a shared understanding in a pregnant glance
Feeling that odd pulse of desire and the sorrow in knowing that life will never be the same thereafter
I dream of the love that bleeds my heart dry, that makes the very flesh ache
The love that when it leaves, feels like a million violent shards is there in place of what used to be me. -
Yeah. Don't we all wish for hollywood or bollywood romances sometimes? I don't doubt that something like the stuff in movies do exist somewhere in the world, probably have to be really really lucky.
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Oh I think the highs are simple enough to find and experience. The hollywood romances don't prepare you for the lows and blows though .
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Dont have to go Hollywood or India, too darn far. Try hanging around the squash courts in Safra, Tampines. Lately i've noticed a growing number of good-lookers there! Oooops! hope I dont sound like a pimp!Originally posted by Bluesky_Liz:Yeah. Don't we all wish for hollywood or bollywood romances sometimes? I don't doubt that something like the stuff in movies do exist somewhere in the world, probably have to be really really lucky. -
choco B,Originally posted by choco B:Oh I think the highs are simple enough to find and experience. The hollywood romances don't prepare you for the lows and blows though .
I do recommend you watch the Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke movies, Before Sunset and it's prequel. It's stimulating, intelligent, funny and sad. It's very real. One of the best movies to come out of Hollywood in a long while. -
tsk tsk!Originally posted by expiringpoet:Dont have to go Hollywood or India, too darn far. Try hanging around the squash courts in Safra, Tampines. Lately i've noticed a growing number of good-lookers there! Oooops! hope I dont sound like a pimp!
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I see you have been busy lately.Originally posted by expiringpoet:Dont have to go Hollywood or India, too darn far. Try hanging around the squash courts in Safra, Tampines. Lately i've noticed a growing number of good-lookers there! Oooops! hope I dont sound like a pimp!
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Remind me to get their VCDs.Originally posted by expiringpoet:choco B,
I do recommend you watch the Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke movies, Before Sunset and it's prequel. It's stimulating, intelligent, funny and sad. It's very real. One of the best movies to come out of Hollywood in a long while.
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Originally posted by Bluesky_Liz:Yeah. Don't we all wish for hollywood or bollywood romances sometimes? I don't doubt that something like the stuff in movies do exist somewhere in the world, probably have to be really really lucky.
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Regarding your poem I think there are quite a few interesting phrases such as ‘lips shying to bloom’, ‘clichéd trails of emotions’, ‘odd pulse of desire’, etc.
Well done!
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but they definitely won't smell good lehOriginally posted by expiringpoet:Dont have to go Hollywood or India, too darn far. Try hanging around the squash courts in Safra, Tampines. Lately i've noticed a growing number of good-lookers there! Oooops! hope I dont sound like a pimp!
and i doubt i look alive after a game of squash.... so no pt gog thr to scare ppl lah, less trying to start a hollywood romance -
Why go and smell them at the first place?Originally posted by tare:but they definitely won't smell good leh
and i doubt i look alive after a game of squash.... so no pt gog thr to scare ppl lah, less trying to start a hollywood romance -
We should all take a healthy interest in our surroundings rite? Also, good information should be shared. I'm not selfishOriginally posted by Bluesky_Liz:tsk tsk! -
Wanna join me? Squash is good for de-stressing.Originally posted by DeadPoet:I see you have been busy lately. 
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thanks for yr kind comments!Originally posted by DeadPoet:Regarding your poem I think there are quite a few interesting phrases such as ‘lips shying to bloom’, ‘clichéd trails of emotions’, ‘odd pulse of desire’, etc.
Well done! -
she goes for the whole package thing lah! Must look good, smell good, feel good..heehee...Originally posted by DeadPoet:Why go and smell them at the first place? -
nice ramblings
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x2Originally posted by expiringpoet:Also, good information should be shared. I'm not selfish 
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Me no like squash. Me like to cook & eat.Originally posted by expiringpoet:Wanna join me? Squash is good for de-stressing. -
You are most welcome but I don't really like your choices of linebreaks.Originally posted by expiringpoet:thanks for yr kind comments! -
Originally posted by expiringpoet:she goes for the whole package thing lah! Must look good, smell good, feel good..heehee...
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Why thank you.Originally posted by trendz:nice ramblings -
Care to suggest how you'd do it instead?Originally posted by DeadPoet:You are most welcome but I don't really like your choices of linebreaks. -
This is more of a personal taste, because when I read poems with long lines, I get lazy. As a general guideline, a line should have nine or ten syllables. But again there are no hard rules to poetry writing.Originally posted by expiringpoet:Care to suggest how you'd do it instead?
Hmm how would I do it? There are many ways depending on what words you want to stress and the kind of pace you want your poem to take. Maybe I will give it a try later. -
Take Gwendolyn Brooks “We Real Cool” for example, what if it was written in one of the following forms instead?
We real cool.
We left school.
We lurk late.
We strike straight.
We sing sin.
We thin gin.
We jazz June.
We die soon.
Or
We real cool. We left school.
We lurk late.
We strike straight. We sing sin.
We thin gin.
We jazz June. We die soon.
Or
We
Real cool.
We
Left school.
We
Lurk late.
We
Strike straight.
We
Sing sin.
We
Thin gin.
We
Jazz June.
We
Die soon.
It doesnÂ’t have the same effects as the original version right?