This is dedicated to my two bestfriends(:
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Seriously, it sucks - ALOT.
It must be magic,
The way I hold you and the night seems to fly.
Easy for you to take me to a star,
Heaven is that moment,
When I look into your eyes.
Your gaze possesed a fiery flame,
That seemed to devour my heart.
As dawn come,
I fall into your arms.
A kiss you give me,
As the memory fades away . . .
Ok erm . . . This is my first poem. Go easy on me >< -
It's enjoyableOriginally posted by sickeningblues-:Seriously, it sucks - ALOT.
It must be magic,
The way I hold you and the night seems to fly.
Easy for you to take me to a star,
Heaven is that moment,
When I look into your eyes.
Your gaze possesed a fiery flame,
That seemed to devour my heart.
As dawn come,
I fall into your arms.
A kiss you give me,
As the memory fades away . . .
Ok erm . . . This is my first poem. Go easy on me ><
Keep on writing! -
pardon me ...... why the memory fades away har?
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pardon me too but it seems to me its more of a lover poem... so are u writing to ur 2 frenz who might be in love? pardon me
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They broke up. Sad):Originally posted by InnoHippo:pardon me ...... why the memory fades away har? -
-Nods- They broke up, like I said.Originally posted by OasisBlue:pardon me too but it seems to me its more of a lover poem... so are u writing to ur 2 frenz who might be in love? pardon me -
nice poem. but really like love poem.
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"This is dedicated to my two bestfriends(: "
Left-handed smile? (: -
Welcome to DPS (S) sickeningblues-!Originally posted by sickeningblues-:Seriously, it sucks - ALOT.
It must be magic,
The way I hold you and the night seems to fly.
Easy for you to take me to a star,
Heaven is that moment,
When I look into your eyes.
Your gaze possesed a fiery flame,
That seemed to devour my heart.
As dawn come,
I fall into your arms.
A kiss you give me,
As the memory fades away . . .
Ok erm . . . This is my first poem. Go easy on me ><
Since this is your first poem, yes, I will go easy on you.
“It must be magic,” is a good start because you are telling your reader something magical is about to happen. I am not going into details with the rest of the poem because basically I think you are on the right path.
Having said that, if you donÂ’t mind, I would like to advise you on two things:
1) Read up on clichés
2) Read up on tone/sound.
Good luck! -
LOL I thought writer was describing some kind of love triangle he's in.
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Sure. Thanks! But . . . what are Cliches? ><Originally posted by DeadPoet:Welcome to DPS (S) sickeningblues-!
Since this is your first poem, yes, I will go easy on you.
“It must be magic,” is a good start because you are telling your reader something magical is about to happen. I am not going into details with the rest of the poem because basically I think you are on the right path.
Having said that, if you donÂ’t mind, I would like to advise you on two things:
1) Read up on clichés
2) Read up on tone/sound.
Good luck! -
Click here, fifth post.Originally posted by sickeningblues-:Sure. Thanks! But . . . what are Cliches? >< -
Hello sickeningblues-,
I highly recommend these two books. You should be able to find them in the library.
The Poet's Companion: A Guide to the Pleasures of Writing Poetry, by Kim Addonizio & Dorianne Laux
Western Wind, An Introduction to Poetry, Fourth Edition, by John Frederick Nims & David Mason -
Oh. SURE! Yeash! Now I can write better poetry now.(:
By the way, what's wrong with "left-handed smiles" ? And I'm both left and right handed. So it's only right that I get both handed smiles. =D