Originally posted by Bluesky_Liz:
[b]The nature of crickets
The answer to the first question started it all
and the end of the last question marks
his entrance into silence; like Narcissus
who couldnÂ’t turn away from
the reflection of his own face, he bows
his head over a pool of his own doubts.
His faith in the things he believes refuse
to shake, but his mind is buzzing
like cricketsÂ’ constant mating calls:
what-if, what-if, what-if ; endless,
like how children go on asking “why?”
until it just echoes in an empty hall.
And if we ever figure out all the answers
and where each one leads to, will we begin
to understand why we are here
to ask ourselves
those questions in the first place?
The crickets continue till dawn.[/b]
i think the 1st stanza is abit problematic to me. I lose the parallels (if that is intended) with Narcissus. The rest of the stanzas are okay, I do like the use of the crickets to drive the point of the repetitive "buzz", generally this is very well pushed across in the 2nd stanza. I'm just not sure if the part about the children asking why is a little of an overkill tho.
The closing lines are great. I like it because it pretty much resonates with questions in the readers heads too. It's neither too deep nor try too hard to impress. Just is.
