Keeping Hungry
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Keeping Hungry
To write when one is famished,
is a reminder, a connection
to a savage past where our present
was just a dream.
We must keep ourselves hungry,
if only to drive the inspiration to hunt.
.................................We hunt
herds of rumor that wander the space
between mouths and ears; we'll trap
stumbling words, bend them into
metaphors, so that they can catch
the sun and reflect on a canvas of lines,
a rainbow of overlapping memories. -
a hungry man is an angry man ........
a hungry woman is a creative woman
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I like this -- It's somewhat of a departure from what you usually write, and you've expounded on a universal theme using a basic human function as an analogy.
Nice
The only thing that I find slightly awkward is the title. "Keeping hungry" -- the way i see it -- is a very colloquail term. Singaporeans will understand it, but an international audience would probably get confused, cos it isn't standard English. -
Thanks Inno and PB.
I'll have to come up with a more effective title. -
Liz, a good one!
someone (can't remember which writer) said that you write your best works when you are hungry and angry. -
Keeping Hungry
Interesting title. Grab my attention immediately.
To write when one is famished,
is a reminder, a connection
to a savage past where our present
was just a dream.
I am not sure how you are going to connect hunger with writing.
We must keep ourselves hungry,
if only to drive the inspiration to hunt.
Right, now it is starting to make some sense.
.................................We hunt
herds of rumor that wander the space
“herds of rumor” is excellent!
between mouths and ears; we'll trap
stumbling words, bend them into
metaphors, so that they can catch
the sun and reflect on a canvas of lines,
a rainbow of overlapping memories.
I am slightly uncomfortable with this part. Since you are using a hunting metaphor hence your readers will automatically link phrases such as “rumor” and “words” with animals. I can imagine hunting “herds of rumor” and trapping “stumbling words.” But how are you going to “bend them” into metaphors? Maybe what you can do is to have the “words” skinned and made bags out of them to
Â…catch
the sun and reflect on a canvas of lines,
a rainbow of overlapping memories.
All in all, I like what you are doing here and I did enjoy it. -
dsnake:
Alex: Thanks for the detailed critique. It's helpful. -
yup, i have trouble with the last stanza too. Can't reconcile the images of words with animals.
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Yeah, well I'd probably change the last bit to fit the earlier images better.