Intro, and well , Marzipan
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Hi guys! received a message over friendster about these forums! looking forward to flip through and read up on whats going on around here!
well, just something i thought about , its ad-hoc , please feel free to comment!
Marzipan
Like tangled wires on a breadboard
Your mind rests on the edge
Chiseled and cut from younger misdirects
A tender finish to your Marzipan
To the untrained, and the unworthy
Rubbed raw and already listless from the day's turn
The phantom fruit grips bitter
Sometimes juicy flesh is better
Longing , by the roadside towards home
A moment to keep for the gentle worm
Lingering around in that Marzipan soul
Working its way to your brew, cracks wait for the paint to dry.
Smoke , Mirrors and that layer of Ice
Nope. No sugar , no spice.
Pour over those dregs into the sink
Preserved fruits are best sold cold. -
Welcome to DPS (S) Mirumoto!
Thanks to your poem, IÂ’ve learnt something new today i.e. what is a Marzipan.
I donÂ’t think IÂ’ve eaten one before. Should be quite tasty.
Okay some comments about your poem.
Firstly spelling error at L3 should be “chiseled” instead of “chisled.” Secondly please be consistent in your punctuations and capitalization. Thirdly, I don’t really get the poem, maybe because I have not eaten a marzipan before, it is slight too abstract for me. Lastly, love the last line i.e. “Preserved fruits are best sold cold.”
I am heading for my fridge.
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mmmmm....Marzipan.
Hello and welcome to DPS. -
Hi! Glad to be here! Will get around to correcting the errors!
As for Marzipan , picture yourself as a real fruit instead. -
That is interesting.Originally posted by Mirumoto:Hi! Glad to be here! Will get around to correcting the errors!
As for Marzipan , picture yourself as a real fruit instead.
Thanks for the hint. -
welcomeo!!
u'll see me around from time to time