midnight, by the palisades
-
the dead are still dying,
dandering like bonfires
that have emptied their souls
into elemental ash
against a gunmetal sky.
they attempt to crawl back
into their skins, into their faces,
torn apart and split in halves
where bayonets have unwisely struck;
still they sink like mists in the weir,
overlapping each other,
the earth and their tears
rubbed into the groaning darkness,
weighed heavier as fallen stars,
impervious to stranded cries,
dip into stoic reserves, stanch
sacraments to ghosts, exhumed.
---------------------------
something more somber. as always, comments are convivially welcomed. -
Lovely one. An anti-war declaration? Very depressing and heavy with irony, but i kinda like it.Originally posted by peebrain:the dead are still dying,
dandering like bonfires
that have emptied their souls
into elemental ash
against a gunmetal sky.
they attempt to crawl back
into their skins, into their faces,
torn apart and split in halves
where bayonets have unwisely struck;
still they sink like mists in the weir,
overlapping each other,
the earth and their tears
rubbed into the groaning darkness,
weighed heavier as fallen stars,
impervious to stranded cries,
dip into stoic reserves, stanch
sacraments to ghosts, exhumed.
---------------------------
something more somber. as always, comments are convivially welcomed.
What inspired this PB?
Just one question: How come the fallen stars are impervious ofthe cries of the dead but somehow this clashes with the idea of it offering sacraments to the ghosts? I dont understand this part. -
It's not a declaration of any sort -- if you must, you could view it as a vignette.Originally posted by expiringpoet:Lovely one. An anti-war declaration? Very depressing and heavy with irony, but i kinda like it.
What inspired this PB?
Just one question: How come the fallen stars are impervious ofthe cries of the dead but somehow this clashes with the idea of it offering sacraments to the ghosts? I dont understand this part.
Where did you get the assumption that the stars are "offering sacraments"? Contrary to that, they are dipping into stoic reserves to "stanch" sacraments i.e. stop the flow of sacraments to ghosts, dead and exhumed, which ties in to their imperviousness to the cries of the dead.
And what inspired this? An image from my dreams, cool and grey and flowing like water. Which probably explains the elemental imagery in the first bit, and water-based metaphors toward the end. -
Originally posted by peebrain:
Ops! sorry i missed that word!
Where did you get the assumption that the stars are "offering sacraments"? Contrary to that, [b]they are dipping into stoic reserves to "stanch" sacraments i.e. stop the flow of sacraments to ghosts, dead and exhumed, which ties in to their imperviousness to the cries of the dead.
[/b]
-
heh. no biggie -- glad you liked it.
-
i thought you were writing about a massacre by a river's banks and all those dead souls came back to haunt the place.!
Anyway i like the imagery, and the strong words used, words like"gunmetal", which i used too.