The Crying Tree
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Dumbly, you spread your arms, a silent "why"
as if to question your wavering franchise,
slake the futility of wild protuberant lust.
I carve a careful girdle upon your virgin hips
like a lover coaxing ecstasy, with beaded intent:
fear changes the consistency of your fount.
Your tears, hot and moist like bleached burnt sugar
trickle tersly into thieving palms, waiting;
infinite patience, in the veins of commerce
I slat the boughs of your disavowed health,
laughing as strangled screams drip from your
descendent heirs, the ones that turn their faith
away from trials of fire you turn your head
as I suck your last tear, and turn away.
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Something that I wrote while writing an article on the rubber industry. Comments are most welcomed. -
Want to write something on the food industry?
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Sure. my rate's 50 cents per word with a minimum 600 word count. This is inclusive of two major rewrites, two minor rewrites. Payment within 30 days upon the receipt of the invoice.
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I thought English is only good if the meaning was being communicated across? If you write all those hard to understand words, and people don't get the meaning, then is it as good as writing for yourself only? Can you imagine people spending money to promote their products but nobody understand what the campaign is about? Then it is a failed campaign.Originally posted by peebrain:Dumbly, you spread your arms, a silent "why"
as if to question your wavering franchise,
slake the futility of wild protuberant lust.
I carve a careful girdle upon your virgin hips
like a lover coaxing ecstasy, with beaded intent:
fear changes the consistency of your fount.
Your tears, hot and moist like bleached burnt sugar
trickle tersly into thieving palms, waiting;
infinite patience, in the veins of commerce
I slat the boughs of your disavowed health,
laughing as strangled screams drip from your
descendent heirs, the ones that turn their faith
away from trials of fire you turn your head
as I suck your last tear, and turn away.
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Something that I wrote while writing an article on the rubber industry. Comments are most welcomed. -
Interesting, if not a somewhat incendiary response.Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:I thought English is only good if the meaning was being communicated across? If you write all those hard to understand words, and people don't get the meaning, then is it as good as writing for yourself only? Can you imagine people spending money to promote their products but nobody understand what the campaign is about? Then it is a failed campaign.
Let's clear some things up, shall we?
Firstly, this is neither a market campaign or a publicity drive. If it were -- and I have written my fair share of such copy -- the angle of the piece would have been different. You , as an audience, would have been broken down into various market segments, analyzed to a fault before I commence writing copy that engages you on your level. The word choice, presentation style and message would be specifically catered to your comprehension ability.
However, this poem and in a larger context, this forum is neither for advertising or public relations purposes. Poetry at its fundamental level, is a personal response, a creative piece produced by the author or artist.
It is written for the author by the author.
Hence, the communication, a two-way one at least, exists between kindred spirits and those who share by giving constructive criticism.
Word choice -- be it in a poem or your advertising hoopla-- is also deliberate -- it is not so much about drawing from a massive vocabulary but rather a calculated move to choose the right word that most expressively conveys the poet's intent, and it is also very much regulated by limitations on rhythm, meter, or context.
It is hardly my fault if you cannot understand some of these words. At any rate, you are probably not my target audience any way.
So while I appreciate you taking time to pen down your comment, and I do acknowledge your frustration stemmed from your limited vocabulary -- I have to appeal to you to view poetry as not something written for someone else's approval, but as a fundamental right to the author's expression, learning and cartharsis. -
While I lean towards writing poetry for general rather than targeted audiences (I try anyway...), I do agree with some the insightful points you made in your reply, Peebrain. Poetry is fundamentally personal to the poet, and ultimately up to the poet to express as he or she pleases.
I got into quite a lively discussion on someone's blog the other day over a somewhat related subject, and your points as well as that other person has given me some stuff to think about regarding poems and the readers, and purposes of writing poetry. I've come to the conclusion that poets have their own objectives, and readers responses are accept or rejected by the author according to those objectives.
I think your poems are not easy to understand at first few reads, but if I take the time to read slowly and think about the images, eventually the meaning becomes clearer. The words aren't always difficult but the phrases you invent are often new and unusual, and take time for people to 'get'.
So far, I'm think this: You've personalised the rubber tree into a woman and the narrator as a lover who uses her to his own advantage, taking what he needs from and after getting what he wants, disregards her. The rubber sap that drips from her seem like tears of pain as N cuts her. I don't get the part about trials of fire though. Then again, I might get more out of this poem if I knew a little more about the rubber industry. -
Hey Liz, you're almost spot-on with your interpretation.Originally posted by Bluesky_Liz:I think your poems are not easy to understand at first few reads, but if I take the time to read slowly and think about the images, eventually the meaning becomes clearer. The words aren't always difficult but the phrases you invent are often new and unusual, and take time for people to 'get'.
So far, I'm think this: You've personalised the rubber tree into a woman and the narrator as a lover who uses her to his own advantage, taking what he needs from and after getting what he wants, disregards her. The rubber sap that drips from her seem like tears of pain as N cuts her. I don't get the part about trials of fire though. Then again, I might get more out of this poem if I knew a little more about the rubber industry.
Indeed, I've personified the rubber tree into a living entity that exists solely for a purpose. It gives and gives without asking for anything in return, and discarded once it has reached its maximum yield -- this thought came to me when I was engaged in heavy-duty research on the manufacture of rubber derivatives.
As for "trial by fire". it actually refers to the process of vulcanization -- heating natural rubber with a combination of sulphur and other chemicals -- rendering it tougher and more resilient to external stresses.
A reader from my blog once commented that duality plays a strong role in my work. I agree with him -- always, I strive to illuminate the unknown (or seldom considered) through a careful interplay of words and images. They may seem discongruent at first glance, but hopefully, together these disparate phrases would make sense. And help myself (and readers, by extension) understand my world and my experiences a little better.
In that sense, this is very much channeled in my poetry and prose. I seldom write prose these days, due to a lack of time, so poetry has become my main vehicle for self-expression. An idea for a poem usually starts with a problem that perplexes me to no end -- and if I have the time or inspiration, I'll actually sit down and work out the problems, simplify and render it as a series of pictures or conceits, and knock it to form.
As such, such a workflow is ingrained in the self. However, since the subject matter usually revolves around humanity -- and not so much localised (as you can tell by now, most of my work doesn't contain elements of Singapore and local slang) I find that a lot of foreign readers can identify with them.
(This is also the reason why I don't identify myself as a wholly Singaporean poet.)
Subjects like passion, loss, ambition, aggression, politics even, are universal and timeless, and my goal in this particular pursuit is to illuminate/articulate as much as I can, based on my level of maturity and expriences in these areas.