Poetry exercise from Alvin Pang
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I'm not sure if I did this exercise right, but here goes
LOVE
it is channel surfing on the telly but always returning to a favorite channel
a link like a telephone cord that flexes and stretches but never breaks
it is a mirror that reflects the same affection, yet different and inverted
a seasoned wok that absorbs past flavors, changing with each stir-fry
it is a bed you hide in, play in, it takes your pummels and abuse
a knife that needs sharpening and oily pampering time and again
it is a sobering shot of espresso or a comforting cup of latte
a liability of a mess of old newspapers or an asset when sold away
it is comfortable, unpretentious and less-than-pretty like old underwear -
well you did exercise using metaphors.... but.... issit a poem or a prose?Originally posted by choco B:I'm not sure if I did this exercise right, but here goes
LOVE
it is channel surfing on the telly but always returning to a favorite channel
a link like a telephone cord that flexes and stretches but never breaks
it is a mirror that reflects the same affection, yet different and inverted
a seasoned wok that absorbs past flavors, changing with each stir-fry
it is a bed you hide in, play in, it takes your pummels and abuse
a knife that needs sharpening and oily pampering time and again
it is a sobering shot of espresso or a comforting cup of latte
a liability of a mess of old newspapers or an asset when sold away
it is comfortable, unpretentious and less-than-pretty like old underwear
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i dun even know what's the diff between prose and poemOriginally posted by tare:well you did exercise using metaphors.... but.... issit a poem or a prose?
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It's just very bad writing
Originally posted by tare:well you did exercise using metaphors.... but.... issit a poem or a prose? -
tat's cos u spend all ur time humsuping instead of studying!!Originally posted by The man who was death:i dun even know what's the diff between prose and poem 
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sec literature not teach mahOriginally posted by tare:tat's cos u spend all ur time humsuping instead of studying!!
only got sing to the dawn and shakespeare -
Hahahaha the play on alphabets was C-A-T....Originally posted by DeadPoet:And you are writing about....? Not cat right?
but the rest were metaphors of this whole "process" called relationship... along the love theme that was given mah... kekeke
this exercise is tough lah... attempted it before your helpful steps came in... hmm... shld have waited... kekekeke -
errr dunno why.. I couldnt come up with metaphors.. Personification can? Cheat a bit.
Love.
the Television was a splitting headache this morning
because you have forgotten to turn it off
for the fourth time this week
and countless times this month;
and I sat on the edge of my bed
head as heavy as a Wok that's on an elephant
the Telephone rang a cold heartless ringtone and
i staggered to answer it
and when i said 'hello'
i heard the familiar click
of the person i know who was calling for you
your tell-tale Underwear looking innocent as you slept
with it on the sofa
The Mirror was talking as I walked past it this morning
I tried to ignore what it was saying to me
and as I read the Newspapers
It calls out to me - a low seductive tone
a song of revenge and freedom...
i glanced at you
your body inert, inept mass on the sofa
the slow rise and fall of your snores
i gulped the Coffee -
black courage -
before the Kitchen Knife took my hand
and led me towards you. -
Originally posted by dsnake1:
I really like this.
my attempt. at metaphors.
[b]Love Is
is an old 16 inch TV that sometimes acts funny, snowy,
we laughed and we don't mind
because it is the first one we managed to buy.
is the stars in the sky, in the constellations,the heavens
when you explained their names
Sirius, Cassiopeia, and she smiles and shakes her head in bewilderment
is a six-pack of beer you shared with her on New Year's eve, laughing ,kissing,
as we tossed empty cans into the sky,
the ships in the harbour honked, tribes chanting ,twelve midnight.
is a teaspoon of morphine , a bitter surrender of battle,
without it she cannot forget the pain
the razor sharp stabs, the cancerous cells pushing against her brain.
is a serrated knife that slices the heart, twisting bleeding
till in your numbed grieving
you no longer feel the pain, the loss, of her leaving.
is a marble slab with a photo and indentations in the stone
that was her name, as i brushed my finger
over gilt letters, sobbing, do I realised how much I missed her.
--01/09/05-----------
Actually i wrote about DEATH , this being the 7th month, but love won.
[/b]
This poem will go far with some revisions. -
Not too bad choco B.Originally posted by choco B:I'm not sure if I did this exercise right, but here goes
LOVE
it is channel surfing on the telly but always returning to a favorite channel
a link like a telephone cord that flexes and stretches but never breaks
it is a mirror that reflects the same affection, yet different and inverted
a seasoned wok that absorbs past flavors, changing with each stir-fry
it is a bed you hide in, play in, it takes your pummels and abuse
a knife that needs sharpening and oily pampering time and again
it is a sobering shot of espresso or a comforting cup of latte
a liability of a mess of old newspapers or an asset when sold away
it is comfortable, unpretentious and less-than-pretty like old underwear
It has some original images. -
Read my blog death. I've written on this topic only a few days ago.Originally posted by The man who was death:i dun even know what's the diff between prose and poem -
It is okay lah. This is just an exercise on metaphors.Originally posted by choco B:It's just very bad writing
Beside, you do have some original images. -
Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
Oh boy, you really did personify each item. Nice work.
errr dunno why.. I couldnt come up with metaphors.. Personification can? Cheat a bit.
[b]Love.
the Television was a splitting headache this morning
because you have forgotten to turn it off
for the fourth time this week
and countless times this month;
and I sat on the edge of my bed
head as heavy as a Wok that's on an elephant
the Telephone rang a cold heartless ringtone and
i staggered to answer it
and when i said 'hello'
i heard the familiar click
of the person i know who was calling for you
your tell-tale Underwear looking innocent as you slept
with it on the sofa
The Mirror was talking as I walked past it this morning
I tried to ignore what it was saying to me
and as I read the Newspapers
It calls out to me - a low seductive tone
a song of revenge and freedom...
i glanced at you
your body inert, inept mass on the sofa
the slow rise and fall of your snores
i gulped the Coffee -
black courage -
before the Kitchen Knife took my hand
and led me towards you.
[/b] -
i like tis...Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:errr dunno why.. I couldnt come up with metaphors.. Personification can? Cheat a bit.
.....
i gulped the Coffee -
black courage -
before the Kitchen Knife took my hand
and led me towards you. -
thank you. Meanwhile, I will try to think up a better poem than my 1st attempt. Im rusty I thinkOriginally posted by DeadPoet:Bravo Heng! Bravo! The former answer is correct. -
I have a few drafts at hand but no poems yet. Need to brush up my English especially my vocabulary.Originally posted by HENG@:thank you. Meanwhile, I will try to think up a better poem than my 1st attempt. Im rusty I think
Good luck in your writing.