Poetry exercise from Alvin Pang
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Hello fellow poets, Alvin has suggested this exercise to get us writing. Yeah and he said he will be coming here to read them.
So here goes,
Hi DP
A quick follow-up exercise while the ideas are still "fresh" in everyone's heads.
This is a follow up to the "metaphor game" ("Religion is like 100plus" etc) and to the Sylvia Plath poem "Metaphors" where she describes her pregnancy in 9 lines with just images.
Basically the exercise is to create your own "list" poem based on your own past experiences, but to write using only images and metaphors (objects, impressions, sounds etc.)
Step 1: Think about an important experience in your life. It should trigger some strong emotions - be it joy, or grief, or despair (the stronger the better, though they don't have to be darkly suicidal!). For eg a love affair, a breakup, the first death in the family, 1st child born etc. Remember what it felt like, looked like, tasted like, smelt like, sounded like etc.
Step 2: Take some senses and objects from your room (either from Where ever you are now or from that important memory). Try and find a connection between them and your important experience. Actually the stranger the connection the better.
Step 3: Write a poem with 9 lines. Each line should describe your important experience using only images, comparisons, objects, senses. Don't say "I fell in love that night". Say "A door I never knew was locked, fell open" etc. etc.
Use Plath's METAPHORS poem as a guide to just how wild (and yet still relevant, and suggestive) images can be.
Have fun!
Alvin
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For those who did not attend the workshop, here is Sylvia PlathÂ’s poem
METAPHORS
IÂ’m a riddle in nine syllables,
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils.
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!
This loafÂ’s big with its yeasty rising.
MoneyÂ’s new-minted in this fat purse.
IÂ’m a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
IÂ’ve eaten a bag of green apples,
Boarded the train thereÂ’s no getting off.
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Who want to go first?
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wah ...... .....
well i still waiting for accident to happen.... i'm an accidental poet mah
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Ok forget accidents, make it even simpler (by making it stricter).
Here's a topic:
LOVE
(good, bad, happy, sad, win, lose, too much, too little, top, bottom, up to you)
Here are nine objects (feel free to vary or add):
Television
Wok
Bed
Mirror
Telephone
Kitchen knife
Cup of coffee (or tea)
Newspaper
Underwear
Now go write your poem: remember, each line is one description / comparison of love using one (or more) of the objects. -
Originally posted by verbosity:
Alvin, you really have a very interesting nick.
Ok forget accidents, make it even simpler (by making it stricter).
Here's a topic:
[b]LOVE
(good, bad, happy, sad, win, lose, too much, too little, top, bottom, up to you)
Here are nine objects (feel free to vary or add):
Television
Wok
Bed
Mirror
Telephone
Kitchen knife
Cup of coffee (or tea)
Newspaper
Underwear
Now go write your poem: remember, each line is one description / comparison of love using one (or more) of the objects.[/b]
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A colour TV, monochromatic.
Clarity, it comes, loud as a falling wok.
An empty bed looking lonely,
While the stranger in the mirror shatters into pieces.
Telephone rings, forlone, ignored,
While the stainless steel glides thru flesh.
Soul departs, darker than espresso,
Earning nothing more than a 4 by 4.
Memories left to red lingerie. -
uh not very good. i don't get this metaphors thing well.
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Originally posted by verbosity:
Will try to do it during the weekend, but I may change it here and there.
Ok forget accidents, make it even simpler (by making it stricter).
Here's a topic:
[b]LOVE
(good, bad, happy, sad, win, lose, too much, too little, top, bottom, up to you)
Here are nine objects (feel free to vary or add):
Television
Wok
Bed
Mirror
Telephone
Kitchen knife
Cup of coffee (or tea)
Newspaper
Underwear
Now go write your poem: remember, each line is one description / comparison of love using one (or more) of the objects.[/b]
Thanks for posting. -
Hello Heng, looks okay to me.Originally posted by HENG@:A colour TV, monochromatic.
Clarity, it comes, loud as a falling wok.
An empty bed looking lonely,
While the stranger in the mirror shatters into pieces.
Telephone rings, forlone, ignored,
While the stainless steel glides thru flesh.
Soul departs, darker than espresso,
Earning nothing more than a 4 by 4.
Memories left to red lingerie.
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i hope so. 's been awhile since i last wrote.Originally posted by DeadPoet:Hello Heng, looks okay to me. -
Heehee. I can't wait to write this weekend.Originally posted by HENG@:i hope so. 's been awhile since i last wrote.
Want to try having a blog? It should be very interesting.
You can tell us about your days in UK, and you can post photos too. -
don't really have a blog. i have a multiply account tho... check it out!Originally posted by DeadPoet:Heehee. I can't wait to write this weekend.
Want to try having a blog? It should be very interesting.
You can tell us about your days in UK, and you can post photos too.
http://asexualantihuman.multiply.com -
Cool.Originally posted by HENG@:
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i promise i will try to write more.Originally posted by DeadPoet:Cool. -
Looks like a nice start here!Originally posted by HENG@:A colour TV, monochromatic.
Clarity, it comes, loud as a falling wok.
An empty bed looking lonely,
While the stranger in the mirror shatters into pieces.
Telephone rings, forlone, ignored,
While the stainless steel glides thru flesh.
Soul departs, darker than espresso,
Earning nothing more than a 4 by 4.
Memories left to red lingerie.
Try avoiding the temptation to turn the images back into abstractions (like soul).
And see if you can make the comparison clearer -- how is love like the red lingerie (great, suggestive image btw)?
Oh, and this being an exercise, don't worry too much about writing good poetry - focus on trying out the techniques, play tricks, experiment. It's a sandbox, not a building site. -
hmm rogeo. Will try to play around with ideas.Originally posted by verbosity:Looks like a nice start here!
Try avoiding the temptation to turn the images back into abstractions (like soul).
And see if you can make the comparison clearer -- how is love like the red lingerie (great, suggestive image btw)?
Oh, and this being an exercise, don't worry too much about writing good poetry - focus on trying out the techniques, play tricks, experiment. It's a sandbox, not a building site. -
stricter is simpler?Originally posted by verbosity:Ok forget accidents, make it even simpler (by making it stricter).
hmm.... actually it is leh.... okie let me go create some "accidents".... hehehee.... -
Originally posted by verbosity:
I'm not good metaphorically But i'll try something but's it not about love
Ok forget accidents, make it even simpler (by making it stricter).
Here's a topic:
[b]LOVE
(good, bad, happy, sad, win, lose, too much, too little, top, bottom, up to you)
Here are nine objects (feel free to vary or add):
Television
Wok
Bed
Mirror
Telephone
Kitchen knife
Cup of coffee (or tea)
Newspaper
Underwear
Now go write your poem: remember, each line is one description / comparison of love using one (or more) of the objects.[/b] -
ah boy ah... u cannot read instruction har? .... topic is love lah.... u like dat cannot leh.. give ans not according to qns...Originally posted by The man who was death:I'm not good metaphorically But i'll try something but's it not about love -
I dun like the topic love lah, i set my own topic, deathOriginally posted by tare:ah boy ah... u cannot read instruction har? .... topic is love lah.... u like dat cannot leh.. give ans not according to qns... -
Hey, whatever works for you, man! Go go go!Originally posted by The man who was death:I dun like the topic love lah, i set my own topic, death -
alvin, u gonna just look at DPS? take a look at other forums, like mineOriginally posted by verbosity:Hey, whatever works for you, man! Go go go! link in my siggy -
actually, er, who's alvin?
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cooor cool. unfortunately im flying back to London tomorrow.
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All the best to you. I know you are dying to get back to London.Originally posted by HENG@:cooor cool. unfortunately im flying back to London tomorrow.
By the way, if you have the time to spare do participate in the coming Poetry Writing Competition.
Looking forward to read your poems again.