What she loves

• The man who was death

  29 Jul 05, 19:47

  This poem i wrote two years when i just started writing poetry, it's the first poem i really like myself at that time so i thought it's appropriate to put it here. I think this could also be my worse poem here ever.
  
  What she loves
  
  She loves her dark straight hair
  She loves her long deep stare
  She loves her dark black eye
  What she loves is not I
  
  She loves her pagan art
  She loves her cold dark heart
  She loves her painted nails
  She loves her frightening wails
  What she loves, I fail
  
  Beside the grave she kneels
  Hollow whispers as she feels
  Lonely heart she longs to kill
  What she loves is so few
  
  I love her dark straight hair
  I love her smell and fair
  I love her weary blur
  What I love is her
  
  Her look is sad
  Her smile is glad
  About her, i'm mad
  I want her so bad
  
  She knows what she loves
  I know she doesn't love
  What I love is love
  What she loves is not love
  
  I had a crush on my teacher when i wrote this and i turned her into a gothic girl here not that she's gothic looking or anything
• DeadPoet

  30 Jul 05, 03:36

  Hey, sound like a rap song
• LazerLordz

  30 Jul 05, 03:39

  Dis song is nice.The "She" repetition burns the image into our mind..to show the poet's obsession with the lady
• Patrik

  30 Jul 05, 03:42

  Nice
  
• HENG@

  30 Jul 05, 03:52

  turn it into a Korn or NIN kind of song. would be kewl.
• dsnake1

  30 Jul 05, 07:37

  Hahaha , turning your teacher into a goth chick, you are crazy, man. but i like the idea.
  
  Anyway, who says this is a bad poem? it's pretty nice, more please
• Kimosabe

  30 Jul 05, 07:49

  That poem is wicked...its deep
• alexkusu

  30 Jul 05, 08:31

  The powers of teacher-student relationships.
• tare

  30 Jul 05, 13:37

  maybe 7th month coming... i keep having this image of a pale faced, dark hair woman in a cemetry or something... waiting to slay her next prey....
  
  okie okie it's just me!
  
  but it's nice... sounds really like a song tho .... add muscial chords to it?
• HENG@

  30 Jul 05, 23:17

  Originally posted by tare:

  maybe 7th month coming... i keep having this image of a pale faced, dark hair woman in a cemetry or something... waiting to slay her next prey....
  
  okie okie it's just me!
  
  but it's nice... sounds really like a song tho .... add muscial chords to it?

  ooo. sounds like someone i could be seduced by...
• The man who was death

  31 Jul 05, 14:33

  Wow!! didn't expect to get so many replies. This one actually a little inspired by a song, "Gothic girl" by the 69 eyes, i dun think u all would know this band.
  
  Thanks glad u all like this poem, anyone who wants to turn this into a song i want to get my songwriter's fee, thank u
  
  p.s my geo teacher is really chio!!
• HENG@

  31 Jul 05, 16:42

  Originally posted by The man who was death:

  Wow!! didn't expect to get so many replies. This one actually a little inspired by a song, "Gothic girl" by the 69 eyes, i dun think u all would know this band.
  
  Thanks glad u all like this poem, anyone who wants to turn this into a song i want to get my songwriter's fee, thank u
  
  p.s my geo teacher is really chio!!

  any pics?
• The man who was death

  31 Jul 05, 17:14

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  any pics?

  u got friend in queensway sec sch? ask them to show u miss annie tan in the school mag of 2004. I hav to respect her cannot anyhow post her pic
• rainee

  31 Jul 05, 17:18

  
• HENG@

  31 Jul 05, 17:19

  Originally posted by The man who was death:

  u got friend in queensway sec sch? ask them to show u miss annie tan in the school mag of 2004. I hav to respect her cannot anyhow post her pic

  whoa how old are u?
• The man who was death

  31 Jul 05, 17:21

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  whoa how old are u?

  17 nia
• HENG@

  31 Jul 05, 17:37

  Originally posted by The man who was death:

  17 nia

  i see...
• tare

  1 Aug 05, 12:33

  Originally posted by The man who was death:

  u got friend in queensway sec sch? ask them to show u miss annie tan in the school mag of 2004. I hav to respect her cannot anyhow post her pic

  u give up so many info abt her in due respect too??
• The man who was death

  1 Aug 05, 12:35

  Originally posted by tare:

  u give up so many info abt her in due respect too??

  That one school mag anyone can see one mah different. those cannot be seen one then cannot be seen lah.
• DeadPoet

  2 Aug 05, 00:50

  Originally posted by The man who was death:

  That one school mag anyone can see one mah different. those cannot be seen one then cannot be seen lah.

  I want to see! I want to see!
• ha8n

  2 Aug 05, 00:54

  always love poetry
• HENG@

  2 Aug 05, 00:54

  hmm hows it like being a 17 yr old goth in sg?
• The man who was death

  2 Aug 05, 13:24

  Originally posted by DeadPoet:

  I want to see! I want to see!

  You got sent an invitation to queensway sec for your poetry workshop? then maybe u can invite her and see all u want.
• The man who was death

  2 Aug 05, 13:25

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  hmm hows it like being a 17 yr old goth in sg?

  Sucks!! cos nobody is goth here
• choco B

  2 Aug 05, 13:29

  I had fun reading the last two stanzas. It reads like a tongue twister heheh