Originally posted by xking:
How much more time do i need
How much more further
Wat else do i seek
Wat kind of an answer
As i'm laying down to sleep
A thought came upon me
Was it me that i'm dealing with
or just plain uncertainty
One day when it's half way there
On a one way trip
Maybe it's me i found again
Its me and the road i lead.
I move further, deeper still
until i lost my way
if i can't found the right door to you
Nothing gonna makes me stay
And so i'm moving on
No time there is to waste
Each step i took is a long way home
But soon i'll find my way
And i'll walk right through the day.
To see my home again.
Okay, my personal opinions
I'm not very sure about the meaning highlighted in red..
You need to refine the tenses of your lines.Though the way you write is reminiscient of poetry that is written on a spur of the moment.Sometimes, this will add to the background of the author and the protagonist insde the poem.
But I love the words you chose, they are easy to visualise
Keep on trying !