my first short poem
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no body is interested in poems, damn u horny monkeys
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What is it about cutepixie?Originally posted by cutepixie:no body is interested in poems, damn u horny monkeys
But you are right, only a few of us here are into poetry.
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tt doesnt seem to rhyme......Originally posted by cutepixie:no body is interested in poems, damn u horny monkeys
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You mean that is her poem?Originally posted by skeujin:tt doesnt seem to rhyme...... 
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no lah... jus teasing her... tink her actual poem went unnoticed...Originally posted by DeadPoet:You mean that is her poem? -
oic. No choice been busy. There are still three poems on the line.Originally posted by skeujin:no lah... jus teasing her... tink her actual poem went unnoticed...
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yes it did
i shall never write poems again
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where got poems? why i can't see any??
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here was the very very very short poem:
fear is the wall that separates us both
The feelings involved are much more than known
Unspoken is all that burns us
As we indulge in reminiscene
And burn we shall
In this beautiful nightmare
how was it? it's my first try so don't expect me to be great -
fear is the wall that separates us both
The feelings involved are much more than known
Unspoken is all that burns us
As we indulge in reminiscene
And burn we shall
In this beautiful nightmare
I like short poem because it is easier to read and if skilfully done the effects on the readers can even exceed those of the longer poems. However they are more difficult to analyse.
This poem is a good example.
Unless it is a typo error, I was wondering why is ‘f’ in the word ‘fear’ in small cap? Is it because fear, as perceived by the lovers is not the main thing they are concerned with? Maybe there are other ‘feelings involved’ which the lovers know but are unspoken?
The second thing I is the word ‘burn’. It enriches the poem and reflects a darker side of love. Funny thing, it seems that there is a love-hate relationship between the two them. This is support by the phrase ‘beautiful nightmare’ in the last line. Such sharp contrast!
Can you imagine somewhere ask you ‘Did you have a beautiful nightmare yesterday night?’ Huh??? (There is a term for such phrase but I can’t remember right now)
In intimate relationship, this is possible. -
The phrase 'beautiful nightmare' seems to be an oxymoron to me. The two words contradict each other. I mean, a nightmare is a terrible dream... a terrifying experience with scorpions (or other suitable horrifying imagery) crawling about in your mind. A dream thus has to be ugly before it can be called as a nightmare.
Erm.... Maybe the original poet could come forward and care to elaborate? -
Yes that is the word 'Oxymoron'!Originally posted by fudgester:The phrase 'beautiful nightmare' seems to be an oxymoron to me. The two words contradict each other. I mean, a nightmare is a terrible dream... a terrifying experience with scorpions (or other suitable horrifying imagery) crawling about in your mind. A dream thus has to be ugly before it can be called as a nightmare.
Erm.... Maybe the original poet could come forward and care to elaborate?
Basically it is a figure of speech that juxtaposes two contradictory words. Example, living death, wise fool, etc. -
hahaa... all the mods not very on lah.. give us time ya?
nice try wat.... tis forum is for all to have a try on poetry and appreciating it... dun have to be an expert ya? keep trying!!! and pls give us more time to response -
exactly. it's a love hate r/s that describes my poem.
as to a beautiful nightmare.
for each his own to the meaning but to me it meant that somehow as much as i hate every moment of it, there's a feeling of hope at the end of a rough path that gets me through and keeps me holding on.it's ok if you don't get me though
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Ideally every poet should help each other by giving mutual supports and feedbacks.Originally posted by tare:hahaa... all the mods not very on lah.. give us time ya?
nice try wat.... tis forum is for all to have a try on poetry and appreciating it... dun have to be an expert ya? keep trying!!! and pls give us more time to response
It is quite impossible for mods to comment on every poem. But if I can spare the time I will try my best to comment on them. But please donÂ’t purposely wait for me, anyone can comment and give feedback.
Hope you guys understand.
Thanks. -
d/post