Hi, I realise this can be a place to find answers which is why I decided to register. Hope I can really find some well needed information here.
I'm a Pes A combat fit soldier that just got posted into my unit after completion of BMT. Upon getting posted into the unit I started having very negative thoughts, feelings and tend to tear up most of the time. I wasn't able to complete certain tasks such as studying for the equipment we are learning to use in my unit. I was the only one is my course that failed the test and I feel so useless. Recently, my condition seemed to worsened as I started to not have sufficient rest. I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep as easily because I constantly think about my troubles. It is hard because we had to train the following day and it just becomes incredibly exhausting. I just totally could not concentrate whenever we had to learn new things about the equipment. Before BMT, I had several cases in which I tried to commit suicide but did not declare that during the CMPB medical checkup. I just didn't want to be thought of as "weird" or crazy I guess. Right now in my unit, I just keep to myself all the time, be it eating my meals or during admin time, I do not socialise with my course mates at all. However, last week my PC noticed that I had been like this for a while now so he came and talk to me and I just revealed to him I have certain personal issues that are really affecting me but I wasn't comfortable in telling anyone. He then referred me to se the camp MO and subsequently was referred to a counsellor who I am going to see this Monday. The MO also gave me a 1 month status of excusing staying in (which has not happened because I'm on course) and also been excused from firearms.
I was quite surprised because the MO said he was going to refer me to a psychiatrist and I got a call from the counsellor instead. I am just confused and frustrated on how the counsellor is going to help me in terms of medical needs, seeing that I am losing sleep now and may need medication. I had an experience of seeing a psychiatrist once before and was perscribed some mecidine which I only took for a while. I understand that I can talk and share my problems with a counsellor but how is he/she going to help me other then just sitting there and listening? How will my current condition be better?
I really thought I was able to forget my problems but they just kept resurfacing even during BMT and now it is totally getting worse as the days go by in my unit. I feel as though my course mates are starting to hate me as I am not united with them. I just feel so helpless, lonely and feel like throwing everything away and disappear for good.
I am on the verge of giving up, I can't find anyone that can help me..
There's nothing wrong with failing equipment tests, especially if you did not have a good chance to familiarise yourself with it given that one equipment is typically shared by a platoon. Hence, the exposure time to learn it can be very little at times. Just go to your sec coms and find out the proper way to do it if you are unsure. They'll be more than willing to help you.
I am unable to give you advice on counselling as i have never been to one before, but just go there with an open mind and see what happens.
Lastly, you are fortunate to have a good PC.
Basically see a counsellor and get him to solve your problem.
You have people who are like Naurto who are super optimistic.On the other hand, there is always some people who are more pessimistic than others.
But the problem is, you finished your BMT already. So the worse should be be over. And everything should turn out alright.
crazydiamond, don't give up. life is worth it. you will find your way. it's hard now, but won't be always. fight for some help. you deserve it!
It is a good thing if u go to meet a shrink n inform the shrink of ur problem.
I think you should go to the centre which serves and give counselling to the people who are [url=http://www.aplaceofhope.com]depressed[/url].
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I think this site will help you.