Final advices for me
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I was willing to be your friend. I was willing to try help you overcome some of these problems but you choose to reject my help.Originally posted by AhJun:No one gives me determination. My family onli say ns is easier now, everyone is doing it together tt kind of thing which doesn't seem to help. And, i practically haf no friends now. I can't make it to poly. They may haf gatherings but i wasn't informed. Even if i do, i won't show up. I take olvl failure as humiliation. What i haf told u i fear to see friends/teachers outside. When i was in sec sch, if there r gatherings, i will be the last informed or not informed at all. And facing humiliation frm my family side is worst enough. I dun want to face humiliation from my frens side. Worse still, my mum seems to enjoy telling her colleagues tt i am entering NS and even changed the subject to ME entering NS if she call my aunts or my aunts gave her a call. I dun think not being able to enter poly and haf to go for NS is something worth to mention and repeat many times right? even if u finished poly/jc education and move on to NS, ur mum also dun spread it to other pple tt u r going NS every now and then right? The humiliated one is still me..of cos
Everyone of us have met with failures in our lives, some more than others but its hard to find anyone who has had a smooth sailing life all the way. I've told you more than once that you have to face your failures. It might be humiliating to have failed but its just 1 failure, its not the end of the world. Not all successful people are degree holders. I've a friend who left sch in sec 3 to go out to work and hes now a manager in an IT company. Its not about your education level but about how commited to your job you are etc that will determine how you will fare. People like us who have degrees or persuing our degrees, so what? That cert is only useful maybe the first few job applications, after that its all base on performance etc that determines who gets the job. Pay might be higher i won't deny but who says you can't study part time etc and still achieve some sort of success in future? The point is not to give up on yourself. So what if your friends laugh at you or something, they might laugh once, twice but will they laugh forever? Is it worse to let them laugh at you a few times or worried about being laugh at all your life?
So what if your former friends don't call you for their gatherings? If they don't want to be friends, just find new friends. Start from a new beginning and not dwel in the past. You need to move forward. -
Yeap. The point here is to move forward...Originally posted by dkcx:I was willing to be your friend. I was willing to try help you overcome some of these problems but you choose to reject my help.
Everyone of us have met with failures in our lives, some more than others but its hard to find anyone who has had a smooth sailing life all the way. I've told you more than once that you have to face your failures. It might be humiliating to have failed but its just 1 failure, its not the end of the world. Not all successful people are degree holders. I've a friend who left sch in sec 3 to go out to work and hes now a manager in an IT company. Its not about your education level but about how commited to your job you are etc that will determine how you will fare. People like us who have degrees or persuing our degrees, so what? That cert is only useful maybe the first few job applications, after that its all base on performance etc that determines who gets the job. Pay might be higher i won't deny but who says you can't study part time etc and still achieve some sort of success in future? The point is not to give up on yourself. So what if your friends laugh at you or something, they might laugh once, twice but will they laugh forever? Is it worse to let them laugh at you a few times or worried about being laugh at all your life?
So what if your former friends don't call you for their gatherings? If they don't want to be friends, just find new friends. Start from a new beginning and not dwel in the past. You need to move forward.
TS, u r still young..... why bother abt the past... -
you know .... I've always believed that the army is a microcosm of one's life ... one's attitude towards the army, even though it's so called an "in-voluntary service" ... is also one's attitude towards life's adversities and trials ....
yes, NS is involuntary servitude, but your attitude towards NS is often a preview of your attitude towards your own career and life ... people will argue that, no, you'll pia when it comes to your own career, etc etc ... but I say ... your future job is often an "involuntary servitude" as well ... you won't be going to work because you feel like it, you'd be going to work because you have to ... just like NS ... and how you carried yourself in your NS duties will be how you carry yourself in your career as well ...
so ... is this GAD thingy going to stay with you all your life ? .... it's up to you ...
(note that I'm not talking about chionging to become officer or commando or what not ... but doing what you have to do ... being responsible, taking pride in doing what you have to do ... I believe these characteristics are with you whatever you do, whereever you go ... in or out of NS) -
Don't you get it that his problem is not due to NS at all? NS is just 1 of the things that happens to be the top thing in his life at the moment and even if not for NS, he will still be having worries for something else. What he needs to overcome is not really NS but himselfOriginally posted by Fatum:you know .... I've always believed that the army is a microcosm of one's life ... one's attitude towards the army, even though it's so called an "in-voluntary service" ... is also one's attitude towards life's adversities and trials ....
yes, NS is involuntary servitude, but your attitude towards NS is often a preview of your attitude towards your own career and life ... people will argue that, no, you'll pia when it comes to your own career, etc etc ... but I say ... your future job is often an "involuntary servitude" as well ... you won't be going to work because you feel like it, you'd be going to work because you have to ... just like NS ... and how you carried yourself in your NS duties will be how you carry yourself in your career as well ...
so ... is this GAD thingy going to stay with you all your life ? .... it's up to you ...
(note that I'm not talking about chionging to become officer or commando or what not ... but doing what you have to do ... being responsible, taking pride in doing what you have to do ... I believe these characteristics are with you whatever you do, whereever you go ... in or out of NS) -
I'm talking about NS ... not him ....Originally posted by dkcx:Don't you get it that his problem is not due to NS at all? NS is just 1 of the things that happens to be the top thing in his life at the moment and even if not for NS, he will still be having worries for something else. What he needs to overcome is not really NS but himself
I'm not a psychiatrist ... nor am I particularly sympathetic ... you may be right, his problem is himself, not some quirky acronym'ed malady ... -
The problem i would believe is real but as with most mental problems, it requires the sufferer to be willing to accept it and accept help. As long as the person doesn't open himself to help or doesn't want to help himself, no psychiatrist or counsellor can do anything.Originally posted by Fatum:I'm talking about NS ... not him ....
I'm not a psychiatrist ... nor am I particularly sympathetic ... you may be right, his problem is himself, not some quirky acronym'ed malady ... -
I'll leave the psycho-analysis to you, I'm not a shrink, nor do I believe in them .... I'll stand by what i say about NS ... the TS can choose to wallow in self pity or he can choose to correct it himself ....Originally posted by dkcx:The problem i would believe is real but as with most mental problems, it requires the sufferer to be willing to accept it and accept help. As long as the person doesn't open himself to help or doesn't want to help himself, no psychiatrist or counsellor can do anything. -
After reading all your post and the PM you send me...
I just feel that you just take the GAD thingy as an excuse to try to slack...
And... I said EXCUSE not reason...
You just keep blaming and blaming on that stupid medical reason you have again and again non stop...
Plz dude... Stop that...
See... It's all about up there... About how you think...
Enduring through NS is not an impossible thing...
Stop finding excuses and blame on your GAD...
Go through this 2 years proudly...
And you will be proud of yourself that you have gone through that 2 years without finding excuse and endure it like a man...
Be brave... -
what for i keep blaming on the medical reason? kaoz i doubt u understand my condition. u dun believe my condition is true? then i got nth much to say.Originally posted by popikachu:After reading all your post and the PM you send me...
I just feel that you just take the GAD thingy as an excuse to try to slack...
And... I said EXCUSE not reason...
You just keep blaming and blaming on that stupid medical reason you have again and again non stop...
Stop finding excuses and blame on your GAD...
Go through this 2 years proudly...
And you will be proud of yourself that you have gone through that 2 years
Plz dude... Stop that...
See... It's all about up there... About how you think...
Enduring through NS is not an impossible thing...
without finding excuse and endure it like a man...
Be brave... -
i can't help it. if i can i would haf stopped long ago. and ns is juz the part at the moment i haf excessive worrying abt. its not becos of NS tt i began to worry. i was alrdy having constant worries when i was young.Originally posted by Detached:You clearly recognize that those excess worrying are just some GAD symptom, then simply don't succumb to them.
It's like knowing that stabbing your leg with a jack knife would hurt; yet stabbing so furiously and refusing to stop.
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yes ur first sentence alrdy kinda sums up my condition alrdy. I think too much.Originally posted by mhcampboy:U think too much.
No one gives u the determination? Is because you yourself rejects it.
The solution lies only with you.
I will say this again as I did in PM.
Army wont be as what you think it is. You will have bonding with ur mates. You will have fun together.
However, I will not say training is easy. it will be tough. You may cry even at certain levels of training. But it is still bearable. Remember, your mates will be doing the same thing as u. And thousands more have endured before you.
Education you can find anywhere. So many schools now. All you have to do is to pick and choose. -
i think tt ur initial ways of helping wasn't effective at all. u r juz dragging the process and wasting time and u think tt can change my mentality so easily.Originally posted by dkcx:I was willing to be your friend. I was willing to try help you overcome some of these problems but you choose to reject my help.
Everyone of us have met with failures in our lives, some more than others but its hard to find anyone who has had a smooth sailing life all the way. I've told you more than once that you have to face your failures. It might be humiliating to have failed but its just 1 failure, its not the end of the world. Not all successful people are degree holders. I've a friend who left sch in sec 3 to go out to work and hes now a manager in an IT company. Its not about your education level but about how commited to your job you are etc that will determine how you will fare. People like us who have degrees or persuing our degrees, so what? That cert is only useful maybe the first few job applications, after that its all base on performance etc that determines who gets the job. Pay might be higher i won't deny but who says you can't study part time etc and still achieve some sort of success in future? The point is not to give up on yourself. So what if your friends laugh at you or something, they might laugh once, twice but will they laugh forever? Is it worse to let them laugh at you a few times or worried about being laugh at all your life?
So what if your former friends don't call you for their gatherings? If they don't want to be friends, just find new friends. Start from a new beginning and not dwel in the past. You need to move forward.
but the scars r there -
its the scars..sometimes the past is somewhat impt too..Originally posted by mhcampboy:Yeap. The point here is to move forward...
TS, u r still young..... why bother abt the past... -
If you want answer, i'll tell you now.Originally posted by AhJun:how to declare? i haf no supporting documents. the things tt hit me HARD comes after tt
Every recruit who goes into a unit will get interviewed by their PC (Platoon Commander) within 48hrs. During this interview, just declare and talk to your PC YOUR problems. If you think he can't help much, you can always request to talk to your OC (Officer Commanding) instead.
If after talking to OC also can't help, for BMT phrase there is always a OO (Orientation Officer) attached to the unit for recruits with problems. They are the trained one to handle all these problems.
OO will always take all these things into matter. so just trust them. if you don't trust them, i really don't know who can help you with YOUR problems. -
but right now i haf supporting documents alrdy- my IMH appointment card, a couple of receipts to show medication and visits and also some medicine labels i got. so i declare and show pc all these too? i am worried this whole thing might juz drag too long and i wun be able to survive. some pple in this forum say tt there r no OO attached to mono units. all go to tekong. i think they probably dun wanna help us cos we got lesser education.Originally posted by ad3285:If you want answer, i'll tell you now.
Every recruit who goes into a unit will get interviewed by their PC (Platoon Commander) within 48hrs. During this interview, just declare and talk to your PC YOUR problems. If you think he can't help much, you can always request to talk to your OC (Officer Commanding) instead.
If after talking to OC also can't help, for BMT phrase there is always a OO (Orientation Officer) attached to the unit for recruits with problems. They are the trained one to handle all these problems.
OO will always take all these things into matter. so just trust them. if you don't trust them, i really don't know who can help you with YOUR problems. -
Ok, someone suggested to highlight these during the PC interview. I have lots of cases like you. And normally if they could bring along their medical certicert to prove that their unfit for certain duties, it helps alot. I would advise them to report to the medical center MO. from there , they will justify whether you are fit or unfit to carry on your BMT. If you declare unfit, means OOT or (Out of training), you'll be having to make an appointment wif your specialist they appointed. most probably will be IMI. once you are Out of training, you will be excuse for certain chores, for eg. Those having excuse lower limbs before of leg injuries, are excuse marching, squating etc. these are just examples. Most mental cases I saw are only those really serious kinds that are only able to request to go OOT. so if the MO certifies your condition as FIT. there is really nothing much else we could do about it. And that means you are really fit, only that your mental is unfit. That can be solve by going thru counselling with me.
oh and I forgot to mention that, those who go OOT will normally given a temp pes status. and once you visit the specilist outside and if serious enough , you could be downgraded. forgot to tell u that OOT personal will NOT join in the Normal routing training. Most of their time will be helping us doing admin, and misc work.
hope this helps. -
err darkmatter i haf left u some private messages. pls reply frm there. thanksOriginally posted by DarkMatter:Ok, someone suggested to highlight these during the PC interview. I have lots of cases like you. And normally if they could bring along their medical certicert to prove that their unfit for certain duties, it helps alot. I would advise them to report to the medical center MO. from there , they will justify whether you are fit or unfit to carry on your BMT. If you declare unfit, means OOT or (Out of training), you'll be having to make an appointment wif your specialist they appointed. most probably will be IMI. once you are Out of training, you will be excuse for certain chores, for eg. Those having excuse lower limbs before of leg injuries, are excuse marching, squating etc. these are just examples. Most mental cases I saw are only those really serious kinds that are only able to request to go OOT. so if the MO certifies your condition as FIT. there is really nothing much else we could do about it. And that means you are really fit, only that your mental is unfit. That can be solve by going thru counselling with me.
oh and I forgot to mention that, those who go OOT will normally given a temp pes status. and once you visit the specilist outside and if serious enough , you could be downgraded. forgot to tell u that OOT personal will NOT join in the Normal routing training. Most of their time will be helping us doing admin, and misc work.
hope this helps. -
err no one?
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this support group for you just got way too sian of ur problem liao...
u post ur problem -> we give suggestions and advices - > u debunk...
then we offered the process of getting help when u enlist -> u whine -> u reject us...
what else can we do?
how else can we do?
just enlist into ur mono unit and take it from there... after collecting all ur barang barang army stuff, when there is a free time or an big opportunity to speak to ur segeant to ask for private session wif ur 2lt officer or the captain officer commanding... and take it from there. -
very simple one..
take it one step at a time .. if you book in and then still feel you cannot take it
sound out lor. your PC not there for show one.. talk to him or CSM.
seriously, now you wont know one until you go in.
but if you really cannot tahan, dont be stubborn and think you can. go and talk to the MO
and you better bring in copies of your medical problem ah.. easier dont let the MO guess here guess there
aiyah.. good luck ah. NS nowadays quite easy.. and i guarantee you if you want to make good friends in there, you can one..
just dont go and hang out with those slacker idiots.. farking hell work hard okay.
can one... -
i dun debunk i juz ask further qns.Originally posted by eac:this support group for you just got way too sian of ur problem liao...
u post ur problem -> we give suggestions and advices - > u debunk...
then we offered the process of getting help when u enlist -> u whine -> u reject us...
what else can we do?
how else can we do?
just enlist into ur mono unit and take it from there... after collecting all ur barang barang army stuff, when there is a free time or an big opportunity to speak to ur segeant to ask for private session wif ur 2lt officer or the captain officer commanding... and take it from there.
i dun whine and reject i juz nid reassurance and approval.
usually my case i speak to sergeant or pc better? i haf to ask sgt for permission b4 i can speak to pc? will he allow? -
can i first sound out my problem during pc interview? my onli medical copies now available are IMH appointment card, a couple of receipts stating visits and medication given as well as some medical labels of my anti depressant. will tt do? i dun haf letter though becos my specialist tt time dun want gif.Originally posted by CSM:very simple one..
take it one step at a time .. if you book in and then still feel you cannot take it
sound out lor. your PC not there for show one.. talk to him or CSM.
seriously, now you wont know one until you go in.
but if you really cannot tahan, dont be stubborn and think you can. go and talk to the MO
and you better bring in copies of your medical problem ah.. easier dont let the MO guess here guess there
aiyah.. good luck ah. NS nowadays quite easy.. and i guarantee you if you want to make good friends in there, you can one..
just dont go and hang out with those slacker idiots.. farking hell work hard okay.
can one... -
i also same as u lor keep thinking x3 i also dun like to talk to people
friends ask me go out i also stay at home so not many friends
parents also seem happy i will be going for ns like wanting me to leave this house but in the end still must go ns ma anyway i am enlisting to 40sar
dun wan to go still muz go haiz sianz -
you can talk to PC, but try to arrange for a proper interview, not the first time mass interview one..Originally posted by AhJun:can i first sound out my problem during pc interview? my onli medical copies now available are IMH appointment card, a couple of receipts stating visits and medication given as well as some medical labels of my anti depressant. will tt do? i dun haf letter though becos my specialist tt time dun want gif.
Secondly, you must also talk to your specialist and ask for like doctor's memo.. tell him why u need it.. -
huh u mean the first mass interview no use? but i still can sound out first right then see what opinion he gif?Originally posted by CSM:you can talk to PC, but try to arrange for a proper interview, not the first time mass interview one..
Secondly, you must also talk to your specialist and ask for like doctor's memo.. tell him why u need it..
tt time i go see specialist i alrdy requested for letter liao. but my specialist say either i go back to cmpb wif appointment card and show them then ask them to get the letter from my specialist OR i enlist first then see how since there r psychologists and counsellors in saf too. so i thought even if i go back to cmpb again they probably wun entertain me as i juz haf an appointment card.