Originally posted by the.owl:
sometime in the future, Jason has earned a hell lot of money from running sgforums and he opened a new fast food brand called sgBurgerums. One day a customer goes there to eat....
SGB: Welcome to sgBurgerums, how can I help you?
Customer: IÂ’ve never been here before, let me see, can I have a big SG burger meal?
SGB: sure, with ketchup or no ketchup?
Customer: IÂ’ll have ketchup.
SGB: to get ketchup, please sigh up for premier membership, then we can give u ketchup.
Customer: excuse me?
SGB: I said in order to get ketchup, you have to sign up for P-membership, which is 10 dollars a year.
Customer: what the hell? Ketchup cost 10 dollars?
SGB: the 10 dollars is not much, considering that it is for the whole year.
Customer: what else do I get for signing up, besides Ketchup?
SGB: you can draw your own pic and signature on the table cloth.
Customer: forget it, its not worth 10 dollars. IÂ’ll bring in my own ketchup then.
SGB: you cant do that, if you do it you will be banned.
Customer: banned??
SGB: ya, you see ah, our manager is very guai lan oneÂ…
Customer: ok ok, forget the fries, IÂ’ll just get a big SG burger.
SGB: actually, if you just want a burger, you will have to go to our “just burger” branch to buy.
Customer: whoa where got this kind of thing one? Want to buy burger have to go to different store?
SGB: ya sorry, our manager sets these weird rules. You see, if you want burger, you have to go to just burger burgerum, if you want hotdog, you have to go to hotdog burgerum, you want YouTube you have to go to YouTube burgerum, and so on. If you ask for burger here our manager will simply kick you out and ask you to go buy from the branch.
Customer: whoa kaoz, your manager really sibei guai lan lor. I want to complain.
SGB: then you can complain to the manager herself lor, she is the short, fat, ugly A cup woman.
Customer: complain to her got what use? She just ban me right.
SGB: exactly, so donÂ’t complain.
Customer: but how you ban me? What if I come back wearing different clothing, you can recognize me meh?
SGB: you can try lor, but if we see you are a clone you get ban again lor. You see that ah pek sitting outside muttering to himself?
Customer: that crazy old man? Yeah poor fellow, why?
SGB: that old manÂ’s name is Munabhai, he got ban dunno how many times liao cuz everytime he come here he wants BollyBurger, but we told him we donÂ’t serve Bollyburger, he insist on having it, so we had to kick him out lor. Then next day he come back wearing new cloths, quite smart, except he ask for bollyburger again, so we ban him again lor.
Customer: whoa thatÂ’s quite stupid lor, change cloth but still ask for Bollyburger.
SGB: ya, eventually he went mad and now he just sits outside muttering to himself about BollyBurgers.
Customer: thatÂ’s interestingÂ….so what exactly is this branch for?
SGB: this branch is called Shit Shat, we sell every kind of food under the sun.
Customer: rubbish, you donÂ’t even sell burger you say everything under the sun?
SGB: we sell burgers, but you have to go to different branch to buy.
Customer: whoa lao, so you suggest me something to eat lor.
SGB: sorry we are running out of food, we apologize for the delay but we have to serve our registered customers first.
Customer: what “registered customers” I’m not customer is it?
SGB: sorry but sometimes its like that, you have to wait.
Customer: ok now can already or not?
SGB: can, but you have wait 5 min.
Customer: I already wait so long why must wait 5 min?
SGB: all new customers is like that one, until they have made 30 orders then they can order anytime they want.
Customer: whoa lao! I go to macdonalds now.
SGB: go lor.
