Remember, We're Raising Children, Not Flowers!
By Jack Canfield
I recently heard a story from Stephen Glenn about a famous research scientist who
had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by
a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much
more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that
occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle
of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell,
spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor - a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture
or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have
made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already
been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes
before we clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever
you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything
to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a
towel or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they
cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how
to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back
yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it
without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top
near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful
lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew
he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were
just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific
experiments are all about. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn
something valuable from it.
Wouldn't it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert's mother responded
to him?