Relationships
1. Women are unpredictable.
Before marriage, she expects a man,
after marriage she suspects him,
and after death she respects him.
2. There was this guy who told his woman that
he loved her so much that he would go
thru hell for her.
They got married - and now he is going
thru hell!
3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds :
"Wife wanted ". Next day, he received a
hundred letters; but it was all from men.
They all said the same thing : "You can
have mine."
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new; or the wife.
5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not.
Just watch him drive a car with a woman
sitting beside him.
If both his hands are on the wheel,
you can be sure he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers.
The letter said, " If you don't promise
to send us $100,000,I swear that we will kidnap your wife."
The poor man wrote back,
" I am afraid I can't keep my promise
but I hope you will keep yours."
7. What's the matter, you look depressed."
"I'm having trouble with my wife."
"What happened?"
"She said she wasn't going to speak to
me for 30 days."
"But that ought to make you happy."
"It did, but today is the last day."
WOMAN
When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going
after her.
When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men
going after her.
When she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man
hitting on her.
When she is 48 - She is a pingpong ball, 2 men
pushing to each other.
MAN
At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to
offer, so little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but
delicious.
At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and
juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season
comes once in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out,
wrinkles and cheap.
Marriage Humour
In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested
