Diary of the Dragon Prince
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by the Little Red Dot
23 March 2003 (Sunday) – Watched the US-Iraqi showdown on CNN over lunch. Father is in a bad mood. He had lost money on the war so far. He betted on the wrong day for the commencement of war, he betted on the US seizing Baghdad in just 4 days and he betted that Iraq will unleash chemical weapons. Total loss was about US$100,000.
Minister for Foreign Affairs Yaya Koo Ma came in. He needs special approval from father and I for an immigration application. Is this a very special foreign talent who has three doctorates in life science, father asked? No. Is this another high-flying corporate CEO whom my dear wife has set her lustful eyes on, I asked? No. Is this a first-rate Mandarin teacher from Beijing who will bolster SingaporeÂ’s Chinese majority, mother asked? No. Yaya said this person is an expert in chemistry, nuclear physics, population control and oil exploration and extraction. What a multi-talented person, father said as he signed the approval papers.
The hot-line rang. It was old friend Saddam on the line. He wanted to know what should be his next move. I glanced at the computer screen which was showing stock and currency prices, and then at my portfolio. I still have not yet sold out my high profitable positions. Keep the Yankees and Brits at bay for a few more days, I told him. Hold them at Umm Qasr and Basra. CNN has been complaining to me that TV viewership is starting to slip because there has been no fighting so far. ThatÂ’s not good for my CNN stock too. Will do, Saddam said, but can I please ask Bush not to use too much firepower? He does not have enough tomato juice to splatter around. IÂ’ll see what I can do, I replied. Saddam said something about needing a good holiday and some sun after this war is over and hung up.
There was breaking news on CNN. The CIA reported that a South-east Asian country has granted refuge to Saddam and that Saddam is preparing to flee Baghdad. Damn those Malaysians or Indonesians, I muttered. Now we will have war at our doorsteps.
The phone rang again. It was the US Ambassador to Singapore. He was raving mad and ranted about Singapore betraying the US, and threatening to cut off all diplomatic ties with Singapore. A horrible thought just entered my head. I ran to the other phone and called my Yaya Foreign Minister. What papers did father just signed, I asked? The immigration papers for a Mr. Al-Jameel Mohammed was the reply. However, he is more commonly known by his alias Saddam Hussein. I called my personal assistant and asked him to book Yaya Koo Ma on the next flight out to Baghdad. DonÂ’t worry if the Baghdad airport is closed to landing, I said. Just air-drop him. -
Dot is here!
otology: do dots spread? -
could ya do an April Fool's story?Originally posted by LITTLEREDDOT:Dot is here!otology: do dots spread? -
It's at Coffeeshop! Here, it is an entry a day, starting with the old ones first.