MARCH 17, 2003
Straight Talk
She lives the way she eats
The best dinner date is with a woman who relishes food. If she can treat meals as an adventure, she will probably do likewise with other areas of her life
By Tommy Wee
ONE of the perils of dating in a tiny city-state must be the fact that we spend way too much time putting things into our mouths.
When it comes to leisure and entertainment in Singapore, a large part of it usually involves eating.
If we're not polishing off buttered popcorn at a movie theatre, we're stuffing our faces in a restaurant or sipping something small and pricey at a club.
No wonder paunch-fighters moan that their mouths - and wallets - get no rest.
But there is a pleasant flipside to all this eating. When a woman eats in front of you, you sometimes get more than you bargain for.
It's amazing how much men can learn about a date from what she desires to eat, how she orders it and why she does so.
Men can be divided broadly into two types of eaters: those who regard food as pleasure, and those who consider it fuel. The latter tend to be less fussy about food, and are probably the cheapest eaters alive.
A group of male friends I know regularly trawl hawker centres, fast-food joints, staff canteens in industrial estates in Tuas and just about anywhere else to avoid paying the service charge.
Women are different.
Women have different eating habits and tend to be a lot more meticulous.
They have mood swings when it comes to food. They may desire something hot and savoury one moment, or something clear and soupy the next.
They'll also seriously consider if the food is healthy or unhealthy, authentically prepared or not, and whether it's processed or fresh. Why, I don't really know.
But when women do eat and enjoy their food, it is a joy to watch.
Not because they, like neanderthals, slurp on their soups and burp loudly afterwards, but because of the 'heart' invested in the process of deciding what to eat.
She'll pore over each menu item, and grill waiters about the ingredients, suss out appropriate dressing and discuss the cooking methods involved.
Off the top of my head, several types of woman eaters come to mind.
THE COVETER: She'll order food quick and easy, but choose to 'sample' what's on your plate instead. And keep on sampling until she's full. For her, the salad always looks greener on the other side.
I think they secretly like the idea of not being able to finish their food, to be perceived - by themselves - as small eaters. These women live life in constant denial.
THE CONNOISSEUR: She'll re-write the entire menu to fit her particular appetite or rigid nutritional requirements.
Everything, down to the temperature of the free glass of water, has to be right.
She'll delight in two appetisers instead of an entree, since she 'grazes'. Up to six times a day.
Except for the volume and frequency of food intake, there is little difference, I think, between a pregnant woman and a non-pregnant Connoisseur.
These women always try to mould their men into something else.
THE INDECISIVE: If you've ever had dinner with someone who looks up from the menu blankly after half-an-hour and whines: 'What are you having?' as the impatient waiter idles nearby, step back, and run.
She's desperately looking for ideas and possibly, an opinion that not even hunger can help form. It's appetite-crushing, to say the least.
THE BLAMER: A close relative of The Indecisive, this woman will gently encourage you to 'suggest' something she should try. You'll have to order twice; once for yourself, then one that you think she likes.
It's emotional blackmail, since you're faced with a pop-quiz you never prepared for.
And when the food disappoints, she'll set you up for the blame with a throwaway statement, almost like a prickly afterthought: 'Why did we even go for the prawns?'
THE DIETER: Dieters are a more complicated breed, since most women diet at some point in their lives.
With them, a good restaurant becomes a spa, where she wants food steamed, skinned, organically grown, milk skimmed and dressing on the side.
Clearly, they are made uneasy by pleasure, and will probably kill themselves at the gym the next day. Avoid at all costs.
THE BULIMIC: After polishing off two entrees and a dessert, she rushes off to the washroom, and returns red-eyed and popping more mouth-mints than a Smint ad.
You'll have more fun burning $50 notes at home than taking her out to a buffet.
THAT said, a woman who knows her appetite - and shows it - is a woman worth knowing.
You can draw certain conclusions about a good eater.
For one, she enjoys life. She eats to tickle and arouse her taste buds, not to fill her stomach.
These women are also fiercely efficient - they know what they want and waste no time.
I think the best dinner date is with someone who relishes food, someone who can genuinely squeal with pleasure at the mention of cheesecake, chocolate brownie or char kway teow.
Someone who can speak glowingly about nonya laksa, and doesn't worry about fabric stains when she orders chilli crabs.
If she can treat meals as an adventure, I imagine she'll do likewise with other areas of her life.
And that is a woman to be enjoyed.
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My friend is the covetor. She never finishes her food. Orders one plate then eat a few mouthful then full already.