WhY WoMeN sTaRt FiGhTs???
-
There's something that has always puzzled me about the opposite sex: Why do women who are happy and deeply in love with their partners stir things up and start arguments for no rational reason?
I think you know what I'm talking about. It's that thing they do where everything is hunky dorey and suddenly, out of left field, they come up with some confrontational conversation that starts off with words like; "Honey, why don't you ever...?" or "You always..." or "Why can't you...?"
Is there something built into the female psyche that compels women to push, test and challenge their men? Why do women unnecessarily and irrationally create conflict, even when they're in happy, otherwise successful relationships?
Just a view, no conflict...kindly do not flame me
-
Men and women are different. A man, by nature, tends to look for comfort and consistency in his relationship.
A woman, on the other hand, tends to turn her primary relationship into a "Perpetual-Improvement Project." So, if there's nothing to work on or process, she's compelled to create something in order to continue work on her Project. As my uncle Jethro Love would say, "They've always gotta mess with things when things don't need fixin'."
You've probably heard the old familiar saying: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
The interesting thing about familiar sayings is that a lot of them are based on real wisdom. In relationships, a man avoids change while a woman thrives on it -- if things seem a bit placid and static, it's time for her to stir things up!
they have to do it -
women do have an innate need to test and push their men. Why, exactly, must they do it? Ask 50 shrinks and you'll get 50 different answers. But I say that one of the main reasons they push is to see if there's anything there to push up against.
They need to know that you have a backbone, that you'll set limits, that you'll stand up for yourself. It makes them feel safe when you won't take any crap. It somehow provides them with reassurance that you are strong enough and confident enough to fight back when you're provoked and that you're capable of protecting them from danger.
Trying to check a man's protective capabilities by starting arguments is not totally logical, but it is bio-logical. It's a drive that goes back to the days when the womenfolk huddled in the cave while the men fought off a pack of ravenous saber-toothed tigers.
A woman's actual physical survival was dependent on having a strong, brave male at her side who could hunt and kill dangerous animals, and protect her from hostile tribes. That survival-based drive for a provider/protector still motivates the modern female.
it'll always be this way
So, even if a woman has super high Interest Level in you and she is also a sweet, loving and giving person, it's not uncommon for her to continually 'test your metal' somehow. She'll always feel the need to dig and question, pry and push in subtle or overt ways. Why? Because she's a female.
Remember guys; the man who passes the test is the man who won't be tested.
-
ayiah, everything blame women... let's take the easy way out, hahaha
-
wad if fail? test again until pass?
-
cwill: hahah your views are realli quite interesting and they make alot of logic u know... did u ever read charles darwin's book?? the rationalisation is veri similar...
there is also another view as to y women are always like to push things..... in a general sense, women constantly need reassurance.. to confirm what they have etc.. men on the other take alot of things for granted haaah. well personally i tink the gals ard me are veri much more paraniod than i am
but for ur response i am not quite sure that will work all the time or with all women.....
as i said, generally what they are looking for is a form of reassurance and so perhaps the best thing that u can do in that situation will be to provide that... of coz provided its reasonable.. after all there ARE unreasonable gals ard.....
now that i am tinking abt it, i tot of a reason y gals may be constantly looking for reassurance
in a purely biological and measured sense, in a relationship the female almost always contributes more than the male..... she bears the child, which requires effort and food etc.. in contrast the male simply copulates and have no strings attached (some male animals leave after the copulation) but the female is left to fend and rear the young... hence she has more to lose, perhaps explaining why they are usually more serious about the relationship... and hence always seeking reassurances..... -
i always remember i once heard this quote, "women is always in sought of a perfect man and once they found one, they'll try to change them."
one thing i do notice about many girls is that there is this thing always ringing in their mind, "how much does my boyfriend love me?".
sad to say, this question of hers can never be casted away without constant actions done from their male counterpart.
if the guy doesnt initiate something to fulfill this doubt, the girl will.
and how? you might ask.
you will frequently see mood swings in them, just to capture your attention. they throw tantrums and get fed-up over nothing, just to see how you react to the situations and measure your "love and concern in her" with their own gauge.
a minority of them will even go to the extend of executing the jealousy acidity test. i dont think i need to elaborate on this part as the objective is quite similar, which is to see how you react.
and guess what? even if you pass the test, it only means there are tougher tests ahead waiting for you. hahaha.
creepy ah? i thought likewise.
i mean why cant these women accept the fact that if the relationship is working out fine, it is working out fine?
such question is still left unanswered.... -
gays, diam!Originally posted by kopiosatu:ayiah, everything blame women... let's take the easy way out, hahaha -
wow...mi newbie sia ....on this...learn something 2dae.......
-
even when 99% of the time it is the guy's fault?Originally posted by kopiosatu:ayiah, everything blame women... let's take the easy way out, hahaha -
^5Originally posted by www:gays, diam! -
^^^^^5Originally posted by elawee:^5 -
hey its a free country...Originally posted by www:gays, diam!
even thoug have abit of communism, its still free -
errrrrrrrr..........Originally posted by elawee:even when 99% of the time it is the guy's fault?
ya -
Originally posted by www:
NEVER...and i do mean NEVER EVER ask how much ur partner loves u...oways ask urself how much do u love ur partner...this implies to everyone here...
i always remember i once heard this quote, "women is always in sought of a perfect man and once they found one, they'll try to change them."
one thing i do notice about [b]many girls is that there is this thing always ringing in their mind, "how much does my boyfriend love me?".
sad to say, this question of hers can never be casted away without constant actions done from their male counterpart.
if the guy doesnt initiate something to fulfill this doubt, the girl will.
and how? you might ask.
you will frequently see mood swings in them, just to capture your attention. they throw tantrums and get fed-up over nothing, just to see how you react to the situations and measure your "love and concern in her" with their own gauge.
a minority of them will even go to the extend of executing the jealousy acidity test. i dont think i need to elaborate on this part as the objective is quite similar, which is to see how you react.
and guess what? even if you pass the test, it only means there are tougher tests ahead waiting for you. hahaha.
creepy ah? i thought likewise.
i mean why cant these women accept the fact that if the relationship is working out fine, it is working out fine?
such question is still left unanswered....[/b] -
in a r/s nobody's at fault...Originally posted by elawee:even when 99% of the time it is the guy's fault? -
hmmm...at least ive learnt my lesson and i learnt it well...and learnt it as a scar...
and today....i fiannly noe y women oways starts fight in a r/s....
thanx will...
-
*take parang*Originally posted by kopiosatu:ayiah, everything blame women... let's take the easy way out, hahaha
*sharpen blade*
*looks for "flesh" to test it out* -
I will not say all but most women need to know that you have a backbone, that you'll set limits, that you'll stand up for yourself. It makes them feel safe when you won't take any crap. It somehow provides them with reassurance that you are strong enough and confident enough to fight back when you're provoked and that you're capable of protecting them from danger.Originally posted by duotiga83:wad if fail? test again until pass?
Thats why man are born to protect, woman are born to be care and pamper for... -
Charles Darwin quotes HE WHO wishes to decide whether man is the modified descendant of some pre-existing form, would probably first enquire whether man varies, however slightly, in bodily structure and in mental faculties; and if so, whether the variations are transmitted to his offspring in accordance with the laws which prevail with the lower animals.Originally posted by dke:cwill: hahah your views are realli quite interesting and they make alot of logic u know... did u ever read charles darwin's book?? the rationalisation is veri similar...
there is also another view as to y women are always like to push things..... in a general sense, women constantly need reassurance.. to confirm what they have etc.. men on the other take alot of things for granted haaah. well personally i tink the gals ard me are veri much more paraniod than i am
but for ur response i am not quite sure that will work all the time or with all women.....
as i said, generally what they are looking for is a form of reassurance and so perhaps the best thing that u can do in that situation will be to provide that... of coz provided its reasonable.. after all there ARE unreasonable gals ard.....
now that i am tinking abt it, i tot of a reason y gals may be constantly looking for reassurance
in a purely biological and measured sense, in a relationship the female almost always contributes more than the male..... she bears the child, which requires effort and food etc.. in contrast the male simply copulates and have no strings attached (some male animals leave after the copulation) but the female is left to fend and rear the young... hence she has more to lose, perhaps explaining why they are usually more serious about the relationship... and hence always seeking reassurances.....
Again, are the variations the result, as far as our ignorance permits us to judge, of the same general causes, and are they governed by the same general laws, as in the case of other organisms; for instance, by correlation, the inherited effects of use and disuse? Is man subject to similar malconformations, the result of arrested development, of reduplication of parts, and does he display in any of his anomalies reversion to some former and ancient type of structure? It might also naturally be enquired whether man, like so many other animals, has given rise to varieties and sub-races, differing but slightly from each other, or to races differing so much that they must be classed as doubtful species? How are such races distributed over the world; and how, when crossed, do they react on each other in the first and succeeding generations? And so with many other points.
The list of judgement goes on my friend -
everyday we learn is just a form of life....a path each and everyone of us will go or gone thruOriginally posted by duotiga83:wow...mi newbie sia ....on this...learn something 2dae....... -
but no one is perfect, end of the day different people have different perception in life be it good or bad; is he/she who oneself will know.Originally posted by www:i always remember i once heard this quote, "women is always in sought of a perfect man and once they found one, they'll try to change them."
one thing i do notice about [b]many girls is that there is this thing always ringing in their mind, "how much does my boyfriend love me?".
sad to say, this question of hers can never be casted away without constant actions done from their male counterpart.
if the guy doesnt initiate something to fulfill this doubt, the girl will.
and how? you might ask.
you will frequently see mood swings in them, just to capture your attention. they throw tantrums and get fed-up over nothing, just to see how you react to the situations and measure your "love and concern in her" with their own gauge.
a minority of them will even go to the extend of executing the jealousy acidity test. i dont think i need to elaborate on this part as the objective is quite similar, which is to see how you react.
and guess what? even if you pass the test, it only means there are tougher tests ahead waiting for you. hahaha.
creepy ah? i thought likewise.
i mean why cant these women accept the fact that if the relationship is working out fine, it is working out fine?
such question is still left unanswered....[/b][/quote]
[quote]Originally posted by elawee:
even when 99% of the time it is the guy's fault? -
actually...i wld both agrre and disagree dat wad kopi had said "blame everything one women"
cos i tink dat sometimes we ladies expect too much from a guy and he cant take it...so dey took to easy way out...break up...
some times its the guy who cannot ctrl demselves and pinch flower provoke grass
so either way...and put it simply...it takes 2 hands to clap... -
Be gentle and kind, yet firm in your love. Some time It¡¦s hard for you to trust or doubt your lovability. You have set around loving yourself and others.Originally posted by aHGer^83:hmmm...at least ive learnt my lesson and i learnt it well...and learnt it as a scar...
and today....i fiannly noe y women oways starts fight in a r/s....
thanx will...
In a relationships, Your thought of conflict to forget differences and remember your hearts. You can do this through times of unconditional love: walks in the park, an unexpected hug, time spent playing together, or a few quiet moments with eachother before bedtime.
Everyone has some type of heritage of love relationship. We who love and fear a relationship likely have several components to our heritage. Perhaps it is a heritage that reveals tremendous sacrifice and commitment. It may or may not include our past relationship roots, as there are surely those reading this who agreed or disagreed with me.
*Heritage
a legacy of philosophical thought. -
cwill now essay writing form....