Jokes: Cost cutting annoucement to all staff
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To: All Staff,
As you know, the realities of the downturn have hit home and I am
forced to introduce the following cost-cutting measures to help shore up
our beloved company. I know you will understand that the pain is
temporary and the gains will be there for all of us to reap when the company comes
through these difficult times stronger... and ready to ride the next big
wave. So with immediate effect, all staff will be required to adhere to
The following:
a. The cups on the two vending machines are to be recycled. Annabelle has
already serialised them.
b. Sabbatical leave: Executives booked for New York will now go to Kukup
in Johor Bahru instead. Senior executives can go further - up to Yong Peng.
c. Our chalet lease in Pulau Ubin has ended. However, as the management
takes a keen interest in staff welfare, we have arranged with Francis
(from Admin Dept) to rent out one of his rooms at Blk 923, Pasir Ris Drive. His
flat was chosen for its proximity to the sea and you can still see Ubin
from the window.
d. Entertainment claims: Staff will be required to go for a 30-min
demonstration by Raj from Finance Dept, who will show you how to withdraw
your credit card slowly from your wallet (58 secs), so that others at a
business lunch will inadvertently beat you to it when the bill comes.
e. The Valentine's Day white chocolates (Deluxeur) which I gave out in
February: Those of you who have yet to open the box, please return them
expiry date: Jan 2004).
f. Monthly Best Employee Award: The $1000 cash award will now be replaced
by a box of Deluxeur white chocolates.
g. Annual Best Employee Award: The 14-day Disneyland/Hawaii tour and
solid gold Rolex Oyster watch will be replaced by TWO boxes of Deluxeur white
chocolates.
h. Medical: The Oxfordshire-Hopkins Medical Group will no more be on our
panel. Annabelle will give you the address of Hong Tong Hong Medical
Hall in Sungei Road. Bring you company pass for a 10% discount.
i. Country Club Memberships: Senior executives must return their
membership
cards to Annabelle, who will then register your name with Bishan
Community Centre.
j. Transport Allowance: No reduction of rate! However, it will be paid on
alternate months.
k. Gifts for clients: New choices. The Bohemian Crystal list will be
replaced by the one from 7-eleven.
l. Annual Dinner & Dance: No change (Dec 24, yay!), but the venue is
switched from The Ritz-Carlton to the void deck of Annabelle's flat in
Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10.
m. Bonus: This time, staff welfare comes first! Instead of the usual
amount, we raised it up to $2 million. Each employee will be given a
Singapore Sweep ticket. The draw is on Dec 5.
From: Chief Financial Officer -
received this e-mail b4~~ heehee
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never read before... hahahaha
damn lame sia
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My father tell me that army also cutting cost...he having big headache.... haiz...Originally posted by e|mo:never read before... hahahaha
damn lame sia 