Advice: Could a younger girl like an older guy like me?
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Just make sure you don't appear to be overly desperate to scare her off.
I notice many guys in Singpapore have the propensity to be desperate and this scare gals off.
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
your obstacles are the guys and girls friends. have them out of teh way. this lady your colleagues where you know here. shouldn't be too difficult to have a time alone wiht her noone around and pick up conversation? trust me sometimes it is better not to have to manyyof the 'friends; in teh way. leran to hunt alone. you should build up your finaancial stability. any wise later to be a wife knows this is important factor. if you have a decent car for transport moving aourd is good. but only if you can afford it - you know yourself. otehrsiwe you can forget about girls who only thinks about cars - they lazy to walk.
I drive a very lousy old toyota car. The car was a 1990s model.It is not the difficulty of having time alone with her. In fact I can imagine if I can be aggressive. But the world doesn't work like this. I have seen a friend at school used to be very aggressive and desperate. He wanted to go after the most pretty and popular girl at school, only to be taught a big lesson. Know what? Fact is she didn't like him at all so she chose the most undesirable girl at school to go harass him every day. He was forced to date that girl. I could the misery in his face.
I think first move is to show your sincerity in making friends. So trick is, is to try to make my conversation more formal, friendly and short. THis is to make her at ease. Maybe one short 5 min small talk can give a big future impression. If she is interested to talk to me in the next round we meet again, she probably come over and chat. If not, then I suppose I didn't make that much of an impression, move on. So, thank goodness, I didn't offend anyone or make anyone think that I am up to no good.
About waiting to build one's own security, I think one should not wait until one is established because by then, one doesn't have the time to seek relationship. I have known a guy who is rich, have career, live in his own million dollar condo and drives a merc, yet he is single because he is too busy with his work.
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Originally posted by winsomeea:
Just make sure you don't appear to be overly desperate to scare her off.
I notice many guys in Singpapore have the propensity to be desperate and this scare gals off.
Yes just small talk and make it short.Let me tell you a funny story. One night after a meeting at a friend's house, we bunch of people decided to go to a restaurant to eat. So at first one of them told us to go this restaurant. Because i was new to the gang, I didn't want to hang around to talk at the house, I jumped into my car and went straight to the restaurant. There's one girl, she's only 25, but really beautiful and has long hair. She also has her own car (thanks to her rich dad) and she went straight to the destination. The others decided to car pool.
By the time I reached the restaurant, she also reached it the same time. So we both went in and waited for some time. I had a small chat with her. I thought this was bizarre, me sitting with that beautiful and awesome looking girl. Then after 30 minutes, nobody turned up. She was beginning to show concern and worry. I inform her that maybe we got the wrong place? So she decided to call the rest of them and ask them where they went.
It turns out that the rest of the gang decided to change the venue of the restaurant to another place (nearby), they all thought me and her left home early. She ask them to quickly come to this restaurant because she and I were there.
Then in 15 minutes they all came and joined us. I can see she was quite uncomfortable sitting opposite of me for 45 minutes so when she saw her friends came, she was so relieved.
At the end when we finished our meals, she said goodbye to everybody, except me. Was that a deliberately done to ignore me? I have no idea.
Then as I backed out my car, I accidentaly blocked her car which was on the way out. So I moved back my car into the parking place and make way for her. She panicked and her car accidentaly collided with the curb causing some scratches to her bumper. I decided to come out and try to help her to align her car. But she drove off so quickly before I could do anything.
So this was bizarre but to say the least, I was innocent ! I think I was set up. It wasn't really my fault. I didn't delibrately end up with her one to one.
Gulp, I hope she doesn't think i am a desperado.
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Sometimes I think talking to ladies is something mysterious.
Me as a guy, I totally don't understand. SOme guys may just say that it is plain rude and some just totally write it off.
For instance:
1) A lady send out an invitation to all of us to attend a function. I answered to say that I wasn't free because I had something else to do. The next week when we all went out for lunch in the weekend, she invited everybody to her place for swimming (her own pool - she is rich btw) and she deliberately ignored me. I just don't know how i offended her. Could women react on so trivial matters? or am i just being sensitive?
2) Then the other day my boss instructed me to ask this lady about her work since she is manning a call centre. I could not understand the nature of the process so in order for me to do my work, I have to query her. Next thing i know, she got very black face at me. Then morning she came into office she greeted to everyone except me. She even invited everyone at her section for her brother's wedding except me. One weekend I decided to come to office to finish up some work. She was there too along with another co-worker. As i was coming into my cubicle, she couldn't see me so she thought only her and her colleague was at the office so she decided to gossip a bit. She was complaining about me always asking so many questions.
Then after 20 minutes i decided to get up (from cubicle) to the phocopier machine and photostat somehting, she looked surprised to see me, and became worried. She even came over and ask me "how am I?"
I felt a bit uncomfortable because she gossiped about me.
Conclusion - i just don't understand women. Why they get so offended easily on trivial matters?
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no $ no honey
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no $ no horny
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no $ get angel
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
Yes just small talk and make it short.Let me tell you a funny story. One night after a meeting at a friend's house, we bunch of people decided to go to a restaurant to eat. So at first one of them told us to go this restaurant. Because i was new to the gang, I didn't want to hang around to talk at the house, I jumped into my car and went straight to the restaurant. There's one girl, she's only 25, but really beautiful and has long hair. She also has her own car (thanks to her rich dad) and she went straight to the destination. The others decided to car pool.
By the time I reached the restaurant, she also reached it the same time. So we both went in and waited for some time. I had a small chat with her. I thought this was bizarre, me sitting with that beautiful and awesome looking girl. Then after 30 minutes, nobody turned up. She was beginning to show concern and worry. I inform her that maybe we got the wrong place? So she decided to call the rest of them and ask them where they went.
It turns out that the rest of the gang decided to change the venue of the restaurant to another place (nearby), they all thought me and her left home early. She ask them to quickly come to this restaurant because she and I were there.
Then in 15 minutes they all came and joined us. I can see she was quite uncomfortable sitting opposite of me for 45 minutes so when she saw her friends came, she was so relieved.
At the end when we finished our meals, she said goodbye to everybody, except me. Was that a deliberately done to ignore me? I have no idea.
Then as I backed out my car, I accidentaly blocked her car which was on the way out. So I moved back my car into the parking place and make way for her. She panicked and her car accidentaly collided with the curb causing some scratches to her bumper. I decided to come out and try to help her to align her car. But she drove off so quickly before I could do anything.
So this was bizarre but to say the least, I was innocent ! I think I was set up. It wasn't really my fault. I didn't delibrately end up with her one to one.
Gulp, I hope she doesn't think i am a desperado.
It's not funny leh....the girl seems scared of you. Have you put yourself in her shoes and wonder why she reacted that way?
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
It's not funny leh....the girl seems scared of you. Have you put yourself in her shoes and wonder why she reacted that way?
No, I didn't do anything. I just try to be friendly that is all. When she ended up with me one to one in that restaurant, all I just did was to be as reserve as i can but at the same time open to conversation. Maybe i was too over-reserved.
She did ask me where I work and things like that.
I think it was because of the odd situation that made her to try to be not that friendly so as not to make me think that I have an opportunity to court her or something like that. That is my perception.
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
No, I didn't do anything. I just try to be friendly that is all. When she ended up with me one to one in that restaurant, all I just did was to be as reserve as i can but at the same time open to conversation. Maybe i was too over-reserved.
She did ask me where I work and things like that.
I think it was because of the odd situation that made her to try to be not that friendly so as not to make me think that I have an opportunity to court her or something like that. That is my perception.
So....you tried to be friendly but at the same time admitting you were overly reserved. The effect of it was her feeling really uncomfortable. Girls hate situations like that.
Yeh, I think she didnt wanna give you any opportunity at all.
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
So....you tried to be friendly but at the same time admitting you were overly reserved. The effect of it was her feeling really uncomfortable. Girls hate situations like that.
Yeh, I think she didnt wanna give you any opportunity at all.
Tell me about it. Story of my life.It was a pure accident. I didn't want to land up in this situation either.
I thought the whole gang told me to go to that restaurant and behold I ended up with her alone instead. If she was willing to come and see me alone, that is an entirely different case. She also thought the same thing. We were set up.
But I don't understand her, she seems to blame me for the whole bizzarre incident.
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its normal girls may have pms - like me during photoshoot i show bulge, then when i try to go nearer to angel she alwasy whine and say 'yamete yamete'
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
Tell me about it. Story of my life.It was a pure accident. I didn't want to land up in this situation either.
I thought the whole gang told me to go to that restaurant and behold I ended up with her alone instead. If she was willing to come and see me alone, that is an entirely different case. She also thought the same thing. We were set up.
But I don't understand her, she seems to blame me for the whole bizzarre incident.
just buy a vietnam bride
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
I drive a very lousy old toyota car. The car was a 1990s model.It is not the difficulty of having time alone with her. In fact I can imagine if I can be aggressive. But the world doesn't work like this. I have seen a friend at school used to be very aggressive and desperate. He wanted to go after the most pretty and popular girl at school, only to be taught a big lesson. Know what? Fact is she didn't like him at all so she chose the most undesirable girl at school to go harass him every day. He was forced to date that girl. I could the misery in his face.
I think first move is to show your sincerity in making friends. So trick is, is to try to make my conversation more formal, friendly and short. THis is to make her at ease. Maybe one short 5 min small talk can give a big future impression. If she is interested to talk to me in the next round we meet again, she probably come over and chat. If not, then I suppose I didn't make that much of an impression, move on. So, thank goodness, I didn't offend anyone or make anyone think that I am up to no good.
About waiting to build one's own security, I think one should not wait until one is established because by then, one doesn't have the time to seek relationship. I have known a guy who is rich, have career, live in his own million dollar condo and drives a merc, yet he is single because he is too busy with his work.
Old kam house,
There's plenty of examples out there proving age is not a relationship or marriage barrier.
Security is an important aspect of any long term relationship.
Since u cannot give what u do not have, it's best to establish Ur own personal security first. Then only r u able to offer security to a girl.
My suggestion is u find ur partner outside ur immediate work environment. And do not let your friends get involved at the very beginning stage. Introduce the girl to them AFTER, the relationship is properly established.
Sometimes, friends think they r helping, but in fact they make life harder for u.
Good luck.
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You have a job and a car which me a younger guy cannot have.You still can find a girl because girls only look down on guys who are destined to be a beggar.
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But then for a young guy, when we look down at them, we usually scream "wow, so strong and nice" and for a older one, altho got car and job, we tend to look up at them not because they are stable or rich, but down below, most are ikan bilis and cannot perform one.
In conclusion, we look down on younger guys got other reason, not just plain looking at a beggar
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Originally posted by angel7030:
But then for a young guy, when we look down at them, we usually scream "wow, so strong and nice" and for a older one, altho got car and job, we tend to look up at them not because they are stable or rich, but down below, most are ikan bilis and cannot perform one.
In conclusion, we look down on younger guys got other reason, not just plain looking at a beggar
Aiyo, young and old, both may suffer from ikan bilis n cannot perform.
Some old already still very power , like Morgan Freeman, marry his step grand daughter. Man 72 , 27 year old girl.
What is important is potential.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Old kam house,
There's plenty of examples out there proving age is not a relationship or marriage barrier.
Security is an important aspect of any long term relationship.
Since u cannot give what u do not have, it's best to establish Ur own personal security first. Then only r u able to offer security to a girl.
My suggestion is u find ur partner outside ur immediate work environment. And do not let your friends get involved at the very beginning stage. Introduce the girl to them AFTER, the relationship is properly established.
Sometimes, friends think they r helping, but in fact they make life harder for u.
Good luck.
I recall last time when I was 22 years old and we were all in one social meeting. Then came this guy, he was 35 years old. All of us was around 22 to 25 years old. Nobody wanted to talk to the poor 35 year old guy. Then as we were having supper at a friend's house, I overhear two girls whispering, making fun of the 35 year old guy. He looked lost sitting at the sofa. After two to three meetings, he never came.
So now I know how it feels like to him. I am the old man now, mixing with all the young people.
Sometimes, some guy will come over and ask me what is my age and then ask me whether I am married or not. Then he will talk about all the pretty girls there. Make my face pale with embarassment. I just answer him I am in my 30s. Not sure if he was making fun of me. Next week I came back again and saw the same guy, he didn't bother to talk to me, he just kepo to ask my age. I mean, is it rude to ask somebody your age? Especially if you ask a woman her age? Same goes for guys right?
It is not only the age factor. I am also having a lot of trouble understanding the opposite sex. When i was young, when I get close to some girls, some of them will go and play some jeolousy games. Like pretending to go out with some guys and make it openly known so she makes sure I know about it. I am not sure, if she was trying to repel me or make me pursue her.
I have a question:
1) Does courtship usually means two people falling in love? No need to chase, just friendship between a guy and a girl blossom to become a relationship?
Or
2) Does one actually have to chase a girl and play the "game"?
I got a friend, he last time liked this girl a lot who work in a bank. So he pursued her, gave her presents/gifts and took her out to restaurant for 4 months. She just play hard to get. He called her a lot and text her a lot. She likes to play sms but she also liked to seduce my friend's other friends. She once, called me out of the blue and ask me to join her for a movie (one to one). I didn't want to join her because I knew my best friend was pursuing her at the time. Then came after 4 months of pursuit, she broke my friend's heart, when she accepted the engagement ring from another guy (a son of a biz man) who is much richer than my friend. Conclusion: Does a guy need to play the "game" to obtain his prize?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
But then for a young guy, when we look down at them, we usually scream "wow, so strong and nice" and for a older one, altho got car and job, we tend to look up at them not because they are stable or rich, but down below, most are ikan bilis and cannot perform one.
In conclusion, we look down on younger guys got other reason, not just plain looking at a beggar
thnaks for sharing.for me my best photo shoots are with guys. because i can concentrate and do my best - on the job to gethe the best pose and angles, positioning my subjects for the best lighting.
but when i photo shoto with girls - even some with the best qualtiy i know i can bring out their best but i tends to drift my mind away - so angel you see i really in delimma - the best photos of you or the best fantasies in my ikind-
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
I recall last time when I was 22 years old and we were all in one social meeting. Then came this guy, he was 35 years old. All of us was around 22 to 25 years old. Nobody wanted to talk to the poor 35 year old guy. Then as we were having supper at a friend's house, I overhear two girls whispering, making fun of the 35 year old guy. He looked lost sitting at the sofa. After two to three meetings, he never came.
So now I know how it feels like to him. I am the old man now, mixing with all the young people.
Sometimes, some guy will come over and ask me what is my age and then ask me whether I am married or not. Then he will talk about all the pretty girls there. Make my face pale with embarassment. I just answer him I am in my 30s. Not sure if he was making fun of me. Next week I came back again and saw the same guy, he didn't bother to talk to me, he just kepo to ask my age. I mean, is it rude to ask somebody your age? Especially if you ask a woman her age? Same goes for guys right?
It is not only the age factor. I am also having a lot of trouble understanding the opposite sex. When i was young, when I get close to some girls, some of them will go and play some jeolousy games. Like pretending to go out with some guys and make it openly known so she makes sure I know about it. I am not sure, if she was trying to repel me or make me pursue her.
I have a question:
1) Does courtship usually means two people falling in love? No need to chase, just friendship between a guy and a girl blossom to become a relationship?
Or
2) Does one actually have to chase a girl and play the "game"?
I got a friend, he last time liked this girl a lot who work in a bank. So he pursued her, gave her presents/gifts and took her out to restaurant for 4 months. She just play hard to get. He called her a lot and text her a lot. She likes to play sms but she also liked to seduce my friend's other friends. She once, called me out of the blue and ask me to join her for a movie (one to one). I didn't want to join her because I knew my best friend was pursuing her at the time. Then came after 4 months of pursuit, she broke my friend's heart, when she accepted the engagement ring from another guy (a son of a biz man) who is much richer than my friend. Conclusion: Does a guy need to play the "game" to obtain his prize?
As the older more mature guy, u should take some initiatives to gain admiration instead of sitting around like a "poor old guy".
Be the big brother. Take the lead to socialize and be friendly.
At your age, u have much more to offer than a young body.
Girls making fun of u do not mean they don't like u. At least u r getting some attention from them. If u r pessimistic, u will resent it. If u r positive , u will take advantage of it. It's all a matter of perspective and how u react.
All girls wanna be chased by guys. Even when they don't see u as a potential partner, they still like to be coaxed and chased. Unless the girl is very frank and honest, she won't say no to your "chasing" because it feels good and help boost their self-confidence.
As a guy, your job is to sift out those who just wanna use u, and identify those who r genuinely interested in recipocrating ur love.
Learn to let go, when u meet a "user". This is applicable to girls too. Don't blindly chase after the girl, that's probably what happened to your friend with a broken heart.
When u hang out with a younger group, understand that younger guys may see u as a threat. When they act in offending manner, they are inwardly insecure. So really, the problem is not u, it's them and their insecurities. So, just shrug it off and enjoy the socializing. After all,they r all on the hunt for chicks, they gotta do what they can to level the playing field for themselves.
When a girl is ready to settle down, she'll look for a sense of stability,safety and security. If u can exude these kind of qualities, your chase is half done, all u need is chemistry and luck.
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Originally posted by Oldkamhouse:
I am 38 this year and still single. Reason being that i had a motorcycle accident when I was 27 and I needed a couple of ops to replace my hip and spinal corrections. As a result, I had to spend a long time at home to rehabilitate from my injuries. I didn't work for 4 years. Now I am back and working as usual but I notice everybody who is 27 to 29 is earning as much as I am earning, well maybe I earn a bit more. I notice all my friends are already married and have kids. I want to move on.
Recently I met a 27 old lady and I find her attractive. I just want to know if someone who is 10 years younger than me would like a person like me. I am not rich but at least i have a car. I am kind of concern because there's a lot of younger guys than me and she may pick them out.
I am a bit concern if I can settle down because age is catching up. I know I shouldn't feel the suspense but this is how it is when everybody is married and attached except me.
I am a shy guy and don't like to make advances. I just want to know her better.
1) So would it be logical for me to just make friends with her first? See her response
2) Rather than make my move and ask her out?
she 27 so old liao ah.............find one like 17 or 18 lah............
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Aiyo, young and old, both may suffer from ikan bilis n cannot perform.
Some old already still very power , like Morgan Freeman, marry his step grand daughter. Man 72 , 27 year old girl.
What is important is potential.
His name tell it all, a freeman.but for older man, we have to work harder leh...
, very tiring. -
The best is the older one, be with th older one, the younger with the younger, generation gap can be a pain in the axx in relationship.
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that's mean i got no chance arh?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
The best is the older one, be with th older one, the younger with the younger, generation gap can be a pain in the axx in relationship.
I respectfully disagree.
Here's why.
When a man is in his 20s, he like woman in her 20s.
When he becomes 30s, he like women in their 20s.
When the man turns 40s, he like women in their 20s.
When he age to 50s, he like women in their 20s.
If u r really as smart as I think u are, u will understand why it's better to be with an older man.
When a man stil loves u, he will give his life for u, but when he is done with u, he tell u pls go and die better.